Blind Luck
by badjujube
Summary: Edward is a driven PhD candidate with a personality problem. Can a ridiculous, directionless undergraduate help him lighten up? AH, E/BPOV alternate. Miniscule chapters. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

_S.M. owns it but I have inserted foul language and Edward being a jerk, just to warn you._

**Bella **

So I am wandering up and down the street between these two houses in the near dark like a creep because I wrote the address down but I can't tell whether it says 703 or 708 because my handwriting is an absolute disgrace and I can't call her because of course I let the charge run out on my phone.

I am feeling a bit out of place and awkward because Alice's house is in this really nice part of town and the last thing I want to do is attract the negative attention of someone's guard dog or have someone's nanny think I'm there to steal the children. Although, I have to say that most of the people in this neighborhood actually have those little, highly groomed dogs that don't intimidate me as much. I can tell this about the dogs because I passed a bunch of people while I was driving around in my gross-polluting, rusty truck with it's shrieking fan belt. I feel like I was attracting a great deal of attention from the people out walking their small, fancy dogs and pushing their expensive European strollers. At least on foot I'm less conspicuous. I'm dressed nicer than usual because I had a job interview today and I am wearing slacks and a blouse rather than my usual dirty tennis shoes, hoodie and jeans.

Finally, I decide upon one of the houses (708, in case you're wondering) because there's a bunch of rooms lit up and Alice told me that she lives with her parents and a couple of brothers. Crossing my fingers like I'm in fourth grade I knock on the door.

Within seconds the door flies open and I'm looking at the most beautiful man I've ever seen outside a fashion magazine. He's at least six feet tall, slim build, pale skin and dark red hair. He's wearing a pair of dark framed glasses, a dark suit and silk tie and he's yelling into a cell phone.

"What you don't understand, Ben, is that putting the wrong music in the end scene is going to cost us another day and maybe screw up our deadline!" He is furious and although he has opened the door he's not looking at me.

So I say, "Hi," quietly, hoping that Alice will appear and save me from hot, angry guy.

He looks at me and his nostrils flare at me in irritation and shaking his head he says, "What are you wearing?" I look down at what I'm wearing and wonder if his house has a dress code or something.

Before I can answer he looks away and, still blocking the door, he yells into the phone, "Well, I will save your skin, _again_, and bring the disk by right now, on the way to the party." He pauses briefly while he reaches for something out of my sight and comes back with a messenger bag and grabbing my arm he walks out the door.

"You're late and I've got a stop to make. Let's go." He drags me down the walkway to his front door and I am trying to pull away but he is strong and I am afraid to interrupt him while he is yelling at "Ben".

"Of course it matters!" Hot, angry guy is still yelling into the phone as he pushes me into a little silver Volvo parked in the driveway. I am too intimidated to jump back out and I am hoping that he is taking me to where Alice is and this will all work out great. I am not an optimist by nature, however. Generally, my glass is not only half empty but may have been spit in as well.

Hot and Angry is driving now and I am clutching my bookbag to my chest, watching him as he yells on the phone to the unfortunate Ben. He looks over at me at one point and shakes his head dismissively before looking back to the road and continuing his diatribe into the phone. I look at my clothes so see if I've gotten poop on myself or something.

"Listen, I'm going to need a dress or something for my date. She showed up totally unprepared. Do you have anything? Maybe Angela left something? What size are you?" I realize he's asking me this last question but all I can do is stare at him. He wants me to change clothes? What date?

"Hello? What size to do you wear?" He now looks almost as angry with me as he was with Ben. I decide to let him get off the phone and have one confrontation at a time so I tell him, "Six? Eight?" shrugging my shoulders.

He lets out an exasperated breath and turns back to his yell-fest with the mysterious Ben all the while navigating the streets of Seattle with one hand occasionally on the wheel and sometimes on the horn.

"You know, it's not like we don't have any competition out there. I feel like I'm the only one who cares here sometimes!" There's a really brief pause before he responds, "Well I'm the only one who cares about doing a quality job, clearly. Never mind, we're here."

He pulls up to a small house and gets out of the car, finally hanging up the phone. He reaches back into the car to get something out of his bag and while he is swearing and fumbling with the light in the car I say, "I'm sorry, but I think there's been a mistake."

He doesn't seem to hear me and I clear my throat and start to talk again but he pulls a jewel case out of the bag and heads into the house.

I am just kind of stuck there wondering what to do when he looks back at me and says; "Well? Are you going to change your clothes outside?"

I don't really want piss him off anymore but I decide to not let this whole clothes-changing thing go any further.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I think that there's been a misunderstanding." He tilts his head at me and blows a big aggravated breath out of his mouth for like the billionth time. At the same time the front door opens and this skinny guy in jeans and a sweater and no shoes steps out onto the front porch. He's got brown hair and glasses but not fancy designer frames like Hot and Angry but wire-rimmed ones.

"You guys coming in?" he smiles at me apologetically. I feel really bad for this guy because he's been getting yelled at and it's kind of awkward having a conversation like this so I get out of the car and walk over to the porch.

"You must be Ben." I put my hand out to shake his and the skinny, barefoot guy gives me an awkward smile. "I'm Bella." I turn to Hot and Angry and continue, "I am meeting Alice to work on a project for our Sociology class."

Hot and Angry is dumbfounded for a second and then he rolls his eyes, "You're not Kristen?" he says. I shake my head.

"This is great!" he pulls at his hair and begins pacing the porch. "Why didn't you say anything? What's wrong with you?"

"You grabbed me and pushed me into the car and you were too busy yelling at Ben here to listen to me!" I am angry now and I've definitely caught his attention because he turns on his heel and whirls around to point his finger at me.

"Do you know what you've done? I've got a party to be at in…" He looks at his watch. "Ten minutes and it's fifteen minutes away and I am never late." He looks at me for a hard moment. "You'll have to go with me. Ben, do you have something for Beatrice…"

"It's Bella and I'm not going with you. I am working on a project with Alice."

"Bella…" he grabs the bridge of his nose and squeezes it, closing his eyes. I am pleased to see that I am less attracted to him than I was before owing to his unpleasant personality.

His phone rings and he opens his eyes to look at it. He hands the phone to me. "Here, talk to Alice." I take the phone from him and answer it. Before I can say anything Alice starts talking.

"Edward, there's a woman here who says she has a date with you?"

"Alice, this is Bella."

Alice kind of screams into the phone and I have to hold it away from my ear. In the meantime the men have gone back into the house. "Bella, what are you doing with Edward?"

"It was kind of a misunderstanding, Alice. He thought I was his date. I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

"Sorry about this, Bella. Can I talk to Edward?"

"Sure thing, Alice. Let me find him." I walk into the house and look for him. The house is decorated in a pretty standard twenty-something college student way with non-matching drapes, game systems and Star Wars posters. He and Ben are sitting in front of a computer and Edward is gesturing at something on the screen angrily. He's got a piece of black clothing in his hand.

"Hey, uh, Edward, right?" I look at him and hold out his phone. He looks up at me with irritation and gets up. He tosses the piece of clothing to me and says; "Here you go." He walks over to me to take the phone.

"Alice, I'll bring her back in a few hours. I have no choice if I want to be on time."

Ben looks at me sheepishly and gestures to a door off of the room we're in.

"You can get changed in there. Angela is about your size so that should fit. Uh, I'm sorry, Angela is my girlfriend."

"That's really sweet of you, Ben, and it was really nice to meet you but I'm not going anywhere with that guy." I smile at him. Edward is listening to what Alice is saying on the phone. He tries to get a word in a few times but I have spoken to Alice and I know how hard it is.

"Yeah…That's…Exactly…Ok. Thanks, Alice." He hangs up the phone and sighs again before looking at me. He tries to smile at me in what I assume is supposed to be a friendly way but he is so worked up that it actually comes out kind of demented because he's smiling while baring his teeth.

"Bella, I am sorry for the misunderstanding. I should introduce myself properly. I am Edward Cullen, I'm Alice's brother." He holds out his hand to shake mine and I take it reluctantly.

"I was expecting a blind date to take to an important faculty party and I assumed that you were her. Now I'm running quite late and I would really appreciate it if you would accompany me?" I am not sure what to think about this sudden transformation but I feel kind of sorry for him because he may be smokin' hot but he's got an obvious personality disorder.

"Ok, but I need to get back to Alice before it gets too late and I'm not changing."

He grimaces. "What you're wearing is unsuitable to the occasion and I assure you that you would feel uncomfortable." The previous, irritable Edward is starting to return and I'm regretting agreeing to this. I catch Ben's eye just then and he is wincing. I get an idea.

"I'll make you a deal." I square my chin at him. "I'll wear this and go to your party if you apologize to Ben for being such a prick and yelling at him."

A look of surprise comes over his face and he nods his head slowly but his perfect jaw is still clenched.

"Fine. Now go change." I look at him expectantly. "Please," he adds and I go to the room that Ben had gestured towards earlier.

The item of clothing turns out to be a black dress that fits me alright except that it was a little long. I pull my cardigan that I had been wearing on top of it as it is a chilly night and I glare at the paleness of my legs. The flats I am wearing look decent without socks. There is no wardrobe change on earth that is going to make me look like I belong with the guy out there in the living room but I guess that I can survive one party like this. If nothing else, it was sure to make him uncomfortable to apologize to Ben. Which I hoped I hadn't missed out on.

I walk out to the living room again where Edward and Ben are looking at a computer screen, this time more quietly.

"Well, did he apologize?" I ask and they both spin around. Ben gives me a smile and says: "Hey Bella, that looks great on you!"

Edward is sizing me up carefully and looking less pleased, says: "Do you wear make-up or something?" Ben jabs him in the ribs.

"No. Do you?" I ask. "Clearly you use hair products and go to the nail salon." Edward looks at his hands, which I had been joking about but did look beautiful. He probably did get manicures.

"Ben and I have made our apologies. Can we please leave now?" Edward gets up and walks over to the door.

"Thank you, Ben. I'll get Angela's dress back as soon as possible. It was nice meeting you." I smile at him as I walk out the door.

"Yeah, uh, good luck, Bella." Ben waves weakly from the doorway as I get into Edward's Volvo and we drive off into the night.

a/n: Let me know what you think…JuJu


	2. Chapter 2

It is not owned by me but by S.M.

**Edward**

_What was wrong with getting a manicure?_ I look at Bella's nails which are short and unpainted. I wonder if she has ever been to a manicurist. Perhaps Alice could take her to one. I shake my head imperceptibly to rid myself of the nonsense in my head and decide to try to prep this girl for the important event we're attending.

"This is a faculty party for the Computer Science Department at the University of Washington."

"Are you a professor?" She looks at me curiously.

"No, I'm a doctoral candidate, though, and I am hoping they'll hire me as a professor when I finish my degree in six months."

"That's why the party is important." I look at her curiously when she says this. For someone dumb enough to get into a stranger's car she is smart about campus politics.

"Exactly. My advisor has recommended that I make a good personal impression on some of the other faculty. He is of the opinion that just outstanding academic work is not enough to prove one's abilities as a faculty member." I wince at this. It is an ongoing point of contention between Dr. Banner and myself.

"So, you want to show them that you can have a good time at a party and are a nice guy?" She looks at me as if there were another question she wants to ask.

"Yes."

"So you set up a blind date for this important party?" I'm not sure what she is getting at.

"Yes." I look at her quizzically. "Why do you ask?"

"It just seems like kind of a risk. You could end up with someone…crazy."

"Are you?"

"No, not especially. Also, it might look weird to your colleagues. You know, that you brought a blind date to this party."

"What are you suggesting? I should have brought my sister? _Again?_"

She laughs and then seeing that I'm not laughing she tries to cover it up by turning to the window. This is getting uncomfortable and I find myself wishing that I had asked Alice to go despite Dr. Banner's warnings.

"I'm just surprised that you don't have more choices, that's all." She looks at me briefly before glancing away again as if embarrassed. "You're very good looking and obviously intelligent and have…nice, um…clothes. Maybe it's your personality." I'm staring at her at this point and she won't look at me. The only people who ever talked to me this frankly were Emmett and Alice. I'm getting really nervous about this girl and I'm concerned about what she was saying. What if she's right?

"I am obviously not the campus Machiavelli that you are. I'm going to have to defer to your superior wisdom. What do you suggest that I tell them, that you're my wife?"

Her eyes pop open a bit at that and then she says, "No, but I would suggest telling them that we've been dating for a month or something. Just to make it look better."

I think over what she said. "Alright, we've been dating for three months…"

"Wait! No! I said a month!" She looks at me with astonishment.

"Well, if a month is good than three months are better, right?" I couldn't see her problem with my suggestion.

"Yeah, but if we'd been dating three months we probably are having sex." She couldn't look at me again. I was having a very hard time reading her; she was alternately bold and timid.

"Well, they'll hardly expect us to have sex on the buffet table so I don't think that we'll be called upon to prove it." Mentioning sex, however, makes me scrutinize her in that way for the first time. She's not as polished as some of the women I'd dated in the past but she is pretty. My appreciative look is halted by her scuffed flats and misshapen sweater, however. But she smells amazing and I wonder what she wears for perfume.

"Ok, three months. We met through Alice and our first date was a…Mariner's game."

"A baseball game?" I ask, cringing.

"Yep." She responds. "I love baseball. We both love concerts and Thai food and my pet name for you is…" she looks at me appraisingly. "Tiger." I groan but had little time to argue as we have arrived at Dr. Cope's house.

"Oh, and I'm a literature major at UW and my last name is Swan and my Dad's a cop." She shoots this last out to me with a smile as she gets out of the car. I look at her over the roof of my Volvo. "Are you still making stuff up?" I ask.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She sticks her tongue out at me as we walk up to the door. I knock and right before the door opens she leans into me and whispers: "I think that I have your name tattooed on my upper thigh."

As Head of the Department opens the door to greet us I'm looking at Bella, frozen, with my mouth open wide enough to fit a small apple.

a/n: I know it's short but you didn't have to wait that long, did you? J


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n: I do not own Twilight but that hasn't stopped me.**

**Bella**

I plaster a big smile on my face although I can feel Edward staring at the side of my face after my tattoo comment. I decide I'm just going to have a good time with this because I'm never going to see these people again, including Edward, who probably thinks that I'm a crazy person.

The woman who opens the door is middle-aged, brunette, glasses and dressed like a university professor: calf-length skirt, cardigan, comfy shoes. I want to mention to Edward that I would have fit right in with my interview clothes but that doesn't seem smart. She smiles and pulls us into the hallway.

"Dr. Cope, I would like you to meet my girlfriend, Bella." Edward introduced us. Dr. Cope looked at me with surprise and then shook my hand warmly.

"So nice to meet you, Bella. Come in and meet the rest of the faculty." We walk into the living room of Dr. Cope's house and Edward begins to introduce me to a dizzying array of people whose names I'm not sure I'm going to remember. He seems to be trying to introduce me to everyone in the room without letting me talk to them for more than a few seconds. All of his colleagues are looking at me with the same or similar expressions of surprise as Dr. Cope.

He gets to a balding, heavy-set man with a sweater vest and a beard.

"Bella, this is my advisor, Dr. Banner. Dr. Banner, Bella Swan." Dr. Banner looks at me with the same surprise that everyone else has and looks at Edward with amusement.

"Bella, it's a pleasure. Call me Ted." Dr. Banner/Ted is smiling at me but he is also scrutinizing me. Don't tell me Edward was right about my clothes, Dr. Sweater-Vest!

"Edward, if I can borrow you for a moment, I need to go over those project assignments with you before tomorrow. Will you excuse us, Bella?" Dr. Banner drags Edward away. Edward looks like he is nervous about leaving me alone with his coworkers so I give him a wink and go find some food.

I am eating a really good mini-sandwich thing and thinking about a glass of wine when one of the professors that Edward introduced me to, whose name is long gone, edges up to me with a smile. He's an Asian guy in his late twenties with a tie with little weiner dogs on it.

"So you're Edward's girlfriend?" He looks at me with a grin.

I give him a big smile. "Yeah, he's such a sweetie, isn't he?"

Dr. Weiner Dog gives kind of a choking laugh and looks at me with amazement. "How long have you guys been together?"

"About three months. His sister Alice introduced us." I am really wondering what is up with everyone's amusement at my expense. I wonder if everyone thought he was gay, or maybe he is gay and feels like he has to hide it? I decide to have that glass of wine and maybe this whole bizarro-world situation would get easier to figure out.

"So, I don't see Edward socially much. What's he like outside of school?" This question was coming from a short, blond guy that I remembered was a fellow graduate student. Mike…Newman, Nussbaum, something. I was kind of mad that I was so bad with names. He and Dr. Weiner Dog were looking at me expectantly.

"He's really fun," I said. "He loves to play jokes on people and really likes kids. Did you know he dresses up as a clown and visits the children's ward at the hospital on weekends?" Mike Whatever and Dr. Weiner Dog were shocked by this piece of trivia and I was really starting to enjoy this.

"Uh, no, I had no idea." Mike Whatever is looking at me curiously. "Edward is pretty…uh…" He's looking at Dr. Weiner Dog to supply an adjective.

"Serious. Edward is pretty serious at work." Dr. W. D. interjects and they look at each other with relief. I am beginning to feel like my assumption that Edward has a personality disorder or is just your run-of-the-mill asshole is correct.

"Yeah, he's pretty different outside of work then, I guess." I have another sip of my wine. Another faculty member walks over, Dr. Something-that-starts-with-an-A, your standard middle-aged former hippie, Birkenstocks and a Jerry Garcia tie. I am a regular guy magnet tonight. I make a mental note to myself to start looking for dates in the Computer Science department because there is a pretty serious male to female ratio imbalance.

"So, you and Edward?" Dr. Dead Head says and I wonder if I'm going to repeat this same interaction all night.

"Yeah, I knew he was the one for me when he kissed me in that bowling alley." I say just to see how these guys will respond.

"A bowling alley?" Dr. Weiner Dog says, wide-eyed.

I smile coyly at him and say; "Yeah, right out on the lanes after I bowled a strike. Then he had to kiss me again when he dropped me off because he said it didn't count if we were wearing other people's shoes."

"I love bowling." Mike W. says. "You and Edward are going to have to join me sometime."

"I don't know, he's pretty busy what with the band and all." I say with what I hope looks like really sincere regret.

"The band?" Dr. Weiner Dog asks.

"Yeah, Edward is starting a band, kind of a mix of punk and folk. It's called Vegetarian Vampires. They're really good!" I am probably having the most fun I've had in months.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I don't own Twilight but that doesn't stop me from making them use swear words. **

**Edward**

Ted pulled me into the hallway ostensibly to talk to me about the project assignments which I knew was a ruse because I had finished up with those a week ago. I was somewhat anxious about leaving that girl alone with all my co-workers.

"What's up, Ted?" I fidgeted with my hair nervously.

"Where did you find that girl?" Ted looked at me anxiously. "You didn't…hire someone, did you?" I looked at Ted with disdain.

"Really, Ted? Does she look like a prostitute to you? Have you ever seen a prostitute?" Ted twisted his hands in embarrassment.

"No. It just…You told me you didn't have a date for the party. I just wondered…"

"She's a friend of Alice's. I thought that it would be weird if I showed up with a blind date so I asked her to pretend to be my girlfriend." Ted looked at me with admiration. I had decided to leave out the part about taking her advice.

"That's…smart." Ted had a thoughtful look on his face. "She seems nice."

"Yes, she's a delight. Now I have to get back out there and make sure she's not stealing the silverware or something."

I began walking back down the hallway when I saw Dr. Arkadian, one of the oldest faculty members coming towards me. He rarely spoke to me so I was surprised when he gestured to me to stop and talk.

"Mr. Cullen, a word please." I paused nervously. Dr. Arkadian was a very important member of the faculty and I couldn't afford to ignore his summon.

"Dr. Arkadian, of course."

"You may be aware, Mr. Cullen, that I am retiring at the end of the semester." He looked at me ominously under his heavy eyebrows.

"Yes, sir. A sad loss for the…" he cut me off.

"We will be in need of a replacement and the department likes to hire it's own graduates."

"Yes, sir. That seems smart." I was getting extremely anxious about what was happening in the other room.

"You will be among those graduates, Mr. Cullen."

"Yes, sir." I began to wonder if I could record myself saying that and put it on a tape loop for him.

"A word of advice, Mr. Cullen, if I may." His voice lowered slightly, almost ominously. All I could do was nod to him to continue.

"You are the smartest of the candidates, Mr. Cullen, but you need to stop being such a jerk. If you were to convince the faculty that you wouldn't be a complete asshole to deal with they would give you the job in a heartbeat."

I looked at him, wide-eyed. Professor Arkadian just called me an asshole.

He looked at me somberly. "We never had this conversation," he said in a near whisper and slipped back down the hallway.

**A/N #2: Just a query: I am obviously a fan of the short chapter/frequent updates. Give me your opinion if you will. Is this cool or annoying? **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer; the Twilight Zone probably belongs to Rod Serling.**

**Edward**

I walk back out into the living room, a little stunned by what I've just heard. Ted has intimated the same thing but in much gentler tones but I never expected Dr. Arkadian to come out and call me an asshole.

I don't have a great deal of time for reflection because I see that Bella is surrounded by four or five of my co-workers and they are laughing uproariously at something she had just said. _What is she saying?_

I walk over to where she is and stand next to her. As my presence becomes known to my coworkers the smiles fade from their faces. Bella, however, sees me and gives me a huge smile and grabs my hand.

"Sweetie, I was just telling your friends here about the time we almost got into a brawl at that Mariner's game."

"Yeah, Cullen. I didn't know you felt like that about the designated hitter." Newton is looking at me with amusement.

All I could do was smile and laugh weakly all the while looking at Bella to try to figure out what the hell she was doing.

"It's cool, Edward. I grew up following the National League. I think that pitchers should have to hit, too." This is from Dr. Nuygen who puts his hand on my arm and smiles.

I am officially in the Twilight Zone. My co-workers are touching me and smiling and calling me "Cullen" and Dr. Arkadian just called me a name. Not to mention the fact that my advisor asked if I hired an escort for the evening and she is putting her arm around my waist and looking up at me with affection. Add to this the fact that I know nothing about baseball.

I continue to smile weakly and manage to say to her, "Sweetie, my coworkers don't want to know all this stuff about me." I slip my arm around her shoulder but I am hyper-conscious of it.

"Bella says you are starting a band?" Dr. Aitken is looking at me with interest.

"Yeah, sweetie. I told them you are starting a punk band, 'Vegetarian Vampires'" she is looking up at me with a broad smile. _A goddamn punk band!_

"Uh, yeah. Just something me and some buddies are kicking around." I glare at her wondering what else she has made up and wondering how to pretend I know about baseball and have a punk band around my colleagues. I am really wishing I had come to this thing alone no matter what Ted says.

I need to get her away from this group.

"Bella, honey, let's go get you something to eat." I pull her away from the group and lean down to hiss in her ear. _"What in the world are you doing?"_

She looks up at me innocently. "What do you mean?"

"A punk band? Designated hitters? I don't even know what that means!" I am pulling her to the food table, trying to avoid conversations with my co-workers.

"I am trying to convince those guys that you have a personality. Isn't that what you wanted?" She is still looking at me wide-eyed and I am struck for just a moment by how _pretty_ she is. She's got beautiful brown eyes that look like some kind of exotic wood, like teak or mahogany and pale, creamy skin. Her lips are slightly parted as she murmurs to me and I think that they are perfectly shaped and what a more romantic man would describe as "kissable". Like I said, Twilight Zone.

"There's a personality and then there's this incredible farce that you are creating. _Are you a compulsive liar?" _Because that would be just my luck. Grab a random girl to bring to a work party and she's some kind of sociopath. I am disturbed beyond reason at how this evening has progressed and I just want it to be over so I can do some damage control.

"No, I'm not a compulsive liar!" Her voice has gotten a bit too loud and I look around to see if anyone has heard her. A few people are looking at us but they look pretty benign. I grab some kind of food off the table and a glass of wine and I try to find a safe place to place her to regroup.

I find an empty couch and sit her down. She is looking at me angrily. I hand her the food and the glass of wine which she takes reluctantly. She looks at the plate I've grabbed and wrinkles her nose.

"Can you eat this? I really don't like mushrooms." I look at her plate to see that I have filled it up with mushrooms stuffed with who-knows-what. I take the plate away from her and set it on a side table. I take a deep breath and try to compose myself.

"Bella, I appreciate that…"

"Could I please get some chocolate cake? I saw some on the table." I look at her with irritation and then get up with a sigh. "Of course." I go to get her cake. By the time I've gotten her a piece of cake and tracked down a fork I notice that Dr. Cope is sitting on the couch with her and they are laughing about something.

"Here's your cake, sweetheart." I hand her the piece of cake and take a seat on the other side of her. I am dying to know what she's been talking to my department head about.

"Thank you for the tip, Bella. I will let you know how that turns out." I stare at Dr. Cope as she gets up. "Edward, I'm so glad you brought Bella to meet us. You'll have to bring her around more often."

"So nice to meet you, Dr. Cope." Bella looks at her with a smile.

"Oh, please. Call me Shelly. See you soon, Bella."

"Bye, Shelly." I whip my head around to Bella as Dr. Cope walks away.

_"What was that about? 'Bye, Shelly'? I've known her for almost eight years and I still call her Dr. Cope! What did you tell her about me?" _I am hissing at Bella furiously and she recoils slightly as my face gets closer to hers.

"You're spitting on me." She makes a show of wiping off her shoulder.

"That's my boss! What insane thing did you tell her about me?"

She shakes her head at me slightly. "Bizarrely enough, we didn't even talk about you. I don't know how we managed to avoid the subject." She took a bite of her cake as I stared at her, dumbfounded. "Oh, this is so good! Thank you!" She takes her fork and cuts a bite of cake. "Here, you have to try this." She tries to feed it to me.

"No, thank you."

"It's really good. Come on, just one bite." She pushes the fork at me.

"No, really. I don't like cake." I am turning my head to avoid the fork.

"Edward, everyone likes cake. Don't be stupid."

"I don't like cake. Stop it." I am glaring at her now.

"Mr. Cullen. Are you trying to monopolize Bella's time? How rude." I look up to see Dr. Arkadian standing a few feet away from us, smiling. I am so stunned to see him after our earlier encounter that I forget about the fork and she slips it into my mouth. I shoot her a glare as I get up to greet Dr. Arkadian.

"Of course not, Dr. Arkadian. We were just…" I am mumbling because my mouth is full of cake.

"I hope not, Mr. Cullen. You get her to yourself all the time and we've only just met her." Dr. Arkadian sits down next to Bella where I had been sitting. Bella smiles at him sweetly.

"Is that chocolate cake?" He looks at her plate.

"It's the best cake," Bella says to him with a grin. "Edward, sweetie, get Dr. Arkadian a piece of cake, will you?" I force a smile and go back to the table to get him a piece of cake. As I do I swallow the rest of the cake in my mouth and notice that it is quite good. I don't even like cake. Twilight Zone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Bella**

I am thinking that I am going to come out of this night with a ton of new friends, not one of which is named Edward Cullen. The Computer Science people seem to _love_ me. Shelly Cope and I are trading knitting tips, Dr. Starts-with-an A and I have similar taste in music and Dr. Weiner Dog and I are going to hit a Mariner's game together.

Edward, on the other hand, _hates_ me. I really can't seem to _not_ piss this guy off, no matter what I do. Of course, it's not like he started the evening off like Polly Positive or anything. He is willing to fetch me cake and he's uber-hot but he's pretty pissed about how much I embellished his boring-ass life to his co-workers. Oh well, it's not like he was going to go out with me for real anyway.

I'm tempted to drink this second glass of wine that he's given me but I am pretty sure that would just make me more silly and not less and I don't want to end up dancing on the coffee table wearing a lampshade for a hat or anything.

So Dr. Arkadian has asked me to call him Peter and he's telling me about his grandkids while Edward gets him a piece of cake.

Edward comes back with Peter's cake and he sits down on the other side of me while Peter and I start talking about Phoenix because I told him that's where I'm from.

I'm concerned that phony-boyfriend is feeling left out so I give him a big smile and he reaches over and takes my hand. I have this huge warm, happy feeling when he does this but I know that it's just the wine and maybe the fact that I haven't had a boyfriend to do that kind of sappy stuff with for a while. I know that I'm not having warm fuzzies for the man who made me change my clothes before I came here.

Edward is keeping his mouth shut while Peter and I are having this conversation, which I think might be a good strategy for him because now Peter is giving him a smile, albeit a small one, as opposed to the scowl that he was giving him a couple minutes ago.

Peter finally gets up and takes my other hand and says; "Bella, it was great to meet you. I hope we'll see you again soon."

He turns to Edward and says: "You make sure and take care of her, Mr. Cullen." He's giving Edward a scowl again as he lets go of my hand.

Edward shoots up off of the couch looking a little scared and says: "Yes, sir. I will. Thank you, sir."

I have finished my cake and set my second glass of wine aside with the plate of mushroom things and I find myself stifling a yawn. I look at Edward who is looking really preoccupied and distant.

"Do you think we could go now? I still have studying to do with Alice."

He snaps his attention back to me suddenly and he looks pissed-off again but he makes a huffing noise and pulls me to my feet.

We make our goodbyes and go out to the car. Edward starts to drive back and it's pretty silent in the car. It's one of those silences that gets more awkward to break the longer it goes on so we pretty much are never going to speak again.

I sneak peeks at him a couple times and he's still pretty angry looking. We get back to his place and as we get to the door he stops and looks in my direction but he's not making eye contact.

"Bella, I want to thank you for helping me out tonight." He's still looking over my shoulder and we're on his dimly lit front porch and I can't see his expression clearly.

"You're welcome, Edward. I had a good time. I hope I didn't create too many problems for you at work."

"Nothing I can't…Ok." He abruptly pushes the door open and walks into the house.

I follow him into the house. I'm standing in this big living room in which you could easily fit my whole apartment, maybe twice. There is a couple of couches and Alice is sitting on one of them but she jumps up when she see's me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry! It must have been awful!" I realize that Edward is nowhere in sight, he has disappeared into one of the doorways leading out of the room. There is a huge dark-haired man coming over to me with a broad smile on his face and an older couple smiling at me from behind him.

"Hey, I'm Emmett. If you had to go out with one of Bella's brothers you probably should have picked me." He laughs as Alice punches his arm lightly.

"Emmett's the nice one." Alice says. "But he's taken."

"Nice to meet you, Emmett. Thanks for the advice." Emmett and the couple behind him laugh and Alice pulls me forward to meet them.

"Bella, these are my parents, Esme and Carlisle." Carlisle is blond and had a really gentle smile. Esme had auburn hair and is just as attractive as her kids and she pushes my extended hand out of the way and hugs me instead. I can't quite figure out how everyone in this family is so pretty and why all of them are so incredibly nice except for Edward.

"It's really nice to meet all of you. Alice, I'm sorry I'm so late."

"Oh, God, Bella. We all know that you were performing a charity for Edward. Come on, let's got get you something to eat." Alice drags me half-way to the kitchen before I realize that I need to change my clothes still.

"Hey, Alice. I need to change out of this dress so Edward can give it back to Ben. Is there someplace that I can do that?"

Alice looks at me with shock. "Bella, he did _not_ make you change your clothes, did he?"

"Yeah, Ben lent me one of Angela's dresses." Alice shakes her head.

"He's a prick. No wonder he can't get a date."

"I imagine he can get a first date, though," I say to Alice and I regret it the second I've said it because her eyes get crazy big and she gets this big smile on her face.

"Bella, you think my brother's cute, huh?" She pokes me with her tiny manicured finger.

"A cute mess," I snort and go into the bathroom to change.


	7. Chapter 7

a/n: SM owns it.

**Edward **

I go up to my room to get away from the welcoming party downstairs. I figure if Bella wants to talk to me she can find me. She has to come find me at some point to give me Angela's dress.

I am overwhelmed by how strange this entire evening turned out to be and I hate feeling this out of control so I start up my computer and start doing some work because the operations and the numbers are comfortable, numbing. I really can't decide whether what happened tonight was a disaster or a triumph.

On one hand, I have no idea what Bella told my coworkers about me, I now have to learn about baseball and start a punk band. Not to mention Dr. Arkadian called me an asshole. I knew that I wasn't the most popular student in the place but I had no idea some people, especially influential faculty, thought so poorly of me.

On the other hand, many of my coworkers were distinctly warmer to me this evening. Because of Bella, I would assume.

Bella. I try to listen for signs of her downstairs but all I can hear is Emmett's bullhorn of a voice and the occasional sound of Alice's chattering. I could go down there to get the dress and talk to Bella but then I'd have to deal with my whole family and not knowing how to talk to the crazy woman downstairs. Because I think she _is _crazy.

I send an email to Ben, asking how work on the game is going. Then I send one to Ted, fishing for feedback on the party tonight. I am having trouble focusing on work so I get up and start flipping through my CDs.

I find myself wondering what kind of music Bella likes and then I shake my head as if to shake the thought out. What does it matter what kind of music she likes? I won't see her again and she probably likes whatever music insane young women like these days. Punk? Russian folk songs? Gangster rap? I am clueless.

I glare at my CD collection for not giving me any help and I scowl at the computer for not showing any email from Ted or Ben. I am pacing my room trying to figure out what would help me resolve this restlessness. I consider braving the family gauntlet downstairs to talk to Bella again and quickly reject the idea. There is no way I'm trying to have a conversation with this girl with Emmett and Alice heckling me.

And what would I say? "Hi, it's been brought to my attention that I'm not going to get the teaching position I want because I'm not friendly enough and you seem to be the key to having people like me." Laughable. "Bella, I'd like to construct a spreadsheet of the stories you told my co-workers so I can start doing some research. Oh, and can you tell me the difference between American League and National League baseball?" Clownish. "Do they have piano players in punk bands? Will I have to get any piercings? Does it hurt?" Perverse.

I let out a big sigh and decided if I changed I would be more comfortable. Hanging up my suit jacket in my closet and hanging up my tie I tried to estimate how much time I had to catch Bella downstairs. I slipped into my bathroom to check my hair and decided to brush my teeth.

I listened again for noise from downstairs and I couldn't hear Emmett anymore so I took a chance that I would have less of an audience for talking to her. I rolled my eyes at myself this time for acting like a fucking school-girl.

I finally decide to go downstairs and I notice how quiet it is. I check my watch but it's only about ten o'clock. Alice and Emmett are nowhere in sight and assume Bella is in Alice's room but I want to check the house's common areas before I go knocking on her door. It just seems a little aggressive.

I finally find my father in the kitchen drinking some tea and reading a magazine.

"Edward," he says, raising his eyebrows at me. "How was your evening? You disappeared so quickly."

"I had to do some work. Ben messed up on the game." I lie, continuing to look around for signs of guests, like extra cups or plates in the sink. "Is Alice's friend still around?" I try to say it nonchalantly but I think I fail because my father is smirking at me.

"No, Bella left a while ago. She seems nice, huh?" Carlisle is giving me a slight smile.

"Nice and crazy." I huff, put out that she left and I had to embarrass myself asking about her. Then I realize that she will have to give me Angela's dress back and I will have a chance to talk to her then.

By then maybe I will have figured out something to say.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I don't own it but that didn't stop me from putting language and minor drug references in this one. Hopefully S.M. will be ok with it.**

**Bella**

I get changed and Alice and I check in briefly about the project we were supposed to do for sociology but I'm so embarrassed about even being here in Edward's house after I was such a freak at that party that I get out of there as soon as I can, agreeing to call Alice tomorrow.

I'm definitely going to meet her somewhere else next time because there's no way I want to see her brother. I mean, I know I'm not the hottest thing going and he looks like a freakin' god or something but additionally I've managed to convince him that I'm a compulsive liar. Great job, Bella.

Anyhow, I've got this big ole drive because I'm staying with my cousin Vicki in Mountlake Terrace so I get on the freeway and drive home. I think for the fortieth time this month how I've got to get a place in Seattle because this drive is killing me and it can't be awesome for my truck. Not to mention that Vicki is cool to let me stay with her but I'm kinda over it now, couch surfing and all.

I get home and Vicki is up, of course, because she's completely nocturnal and I am hit by the smell of pot smoke because her boyfriend James must be over so I know that my leftover macaroni and cheese is long gone as well as my ice cream. Stoners. I can't really complain because I'm not paying her a lot of rent but James and Vicki can be a bit much.

I'm going to try and sneak in past them but Vicki sees me.

"Hey Bella, come watch this funny-ass video!" I sigh and walk into the living room. Sure enough, James and Vicki are stretched out on her couch surrounded by the remains of leftovers, food wrappers, beer bottles and a half empty bottle of that Kombucha stuff that Vicki keeps trying to get me to drink. I guess it's good for your digestion or something. I wonder if it helps James digest my food.

"What are you watching?" I sit down in one of the easy chairs.

"America's Funniest fuckin' Home Videos," James slaps his hand on his thigh, laughing at some kid falling off a bicycle on TV. I roll my eyes.

"That's great, guys but I have to get some sleep." I hope I'm not being too rude but I have had a long and confusing day and I have to be at work early the next morning. I look at them pointedly since they are currently getting stoned on my "bed".

It takes Vicki a minute to take the hint; slow response time being a frequent side-effect of marijuana use.

"Oh, yeah. Shit, honey, we gotta get off Bella's couch." Vicki gets up and starts to pick up some stuff from the coffee table disaster. James lets out a big, huffy sigh and pulls himself up, groaning. He scratches his chest through his Bob Marley t-shirt and then remembers something.

"Hey Bella, this buddy of mine just moved out of his place in Seattle and the guy he rents from is probably gonna need a new roommate. I could give you his number and stuff." Vicki shoots him a glare and when he doesn't see it she pokes him in the side. "I mean, no big deal having you here but I know you said the drive was a bitch and Alex's place is pretty close to the University, so if you wanted…I mean…"

"James, that sounds cool. Why don't you give me the guy's name and number? I'd appreciate it." I'm looking at the couch they've been sitting on and thinking about how I'm now going to sleep on it and I think that I would rather live in a spider-infested tool shed at this point.

"Yeah, no problem." James is looking at Vicki with triumph in his eyes and they wander off to the bedroom.

I get ready to go to bed, or should I say, go to couch, and I pull out my book. I'm reading "The English Patient" which has really interesting writing but it's kind of a bummer that I know that Catherine dies because that dickweed James told me.

I'm trying really hard to not think about the enjoyable parts of the evening with Edward, like where he brought me cake and when he held my hand. It's really better for me the think about the crappy parts, like where he thinks I'm crazy and how he disappeared when we got to his house.

I decide that I'm going to have Alice meet me someplace that isn't her house so I don't have to be obsessive about her brother and get sweaty palms and look at how much hotter he is than me. She and I have to find an organization or non-profit of some sort to do some research on and conduct some interviews in. I think about James and think that maybe we should do our project on Marijuana Anonymous.

Thinking about James and Vicki I think that I probably will call his buddy's roommate tomorrow about the room. I appreciate their help and everything and God knows they helped me out when I moved up here from Phoenix but I think that sleeping in a bed that doesn't smell like weed and Cheetos would seriously cheer me up.

I get the guy's number from James in the morning. He's obviously really motivated to get me out of here because he actually has the guy's name and his home and cell number. It's a pretty amazing feat of organization for James. We're talking about a guy who can lose the TV remote when it's sitting right next to him.

I go to work at Bartell's and it's another fabulous day of working retail. I do a lot of ordering because I have some serious brain power compared to some of the people I work with. On my break I call this guy, Jasper. He answers and he's got kind of an accent, like maybe he's from the south.

"Hi, Jasper. My name is Bella. A friend of mine tells me that you're looking for a roommate and he gave me your name."

"Uh…yeah. I hadn't even gotten around to placing an ad. How did you get my name again?" I guess I sound kind of creepy so I try to explain.

"My cousin's boyfriend James is friends with Alex? Your old roommate? I go to U W and need a place closer and he said you might be needing to rent the room?"

"Yeah, um, you're not actually friends with Alex are you? Because we kind of had a disagreement about, um…lifestyle choices and I don't really want to deal with that again."

"I don't even know Alex but if you don't want to show me the place I get it. I'm sure you'll get better candidates from Craigslist or whatever."

"No. I just, uh…We can talk about it when you see the place. Can you come by tonight?"

"Yeah, that's sounds great. I get off work at four. I can be there by five?"

"Sounds good, Bella." Jasper gives me directions to his place. It's pretty close to the University and I know I can find it. I go back to work and spend the rest of the afternoon being really excited about having a door. I'm curious about the "lifestyle" choices that Jasper and Alex disagreed about but I don't really have a wild life so I'm not really worried about it too much.

I get to the place on time and it's actually pretty nice, not what I expected from a guy's place or from anyone who may know James. It's a Victorian two-story house that looks like it's been split into apartments, at least two from what I can tell from the numbers outside.

I knock on the door and a tall, skinny blond guy answers. He's wearing camo pants and t-shirt with a fist on it and the words "Fight the Power". He's got a bunch of tattoos on his upper arms and a couple of piercings in his ears and eyebrows. He looks sharper than your average stoner, however, and he had pretty good hygiene, which I also don't expect from friends of James.

"Hey, Bella, right?" He reaches out to shake my hand. "Come on in." I walk into what must be the lower apartment. I can see a staircase leading up to another door.

"This is the place. There are two apartments, my sister lives upstairs." I look at him with surprise. "My parents own the place."

Jasper has a lot of books and no visible TV which I respect. He's got some music posters and one of Martin Luther King Jr. up on the wall. He's also got that really famous one of Huey Newton in the bamboo chair with the gun. I'm wondering about my new buddy's ties to the Black Panthers but it's a really nice apartment.

"So it's just me and my roommate. All the utilities are included in the rent and you get your own bathroom attached to the bedroom." He shows me the empty bedroom which I adore. It's got that really cool molding around the walls and hardwood floors. I love old houses and I really hope that this place isn't too expensive. I've been giving Vicki three hundred a month to sleep on her couch and spending a ton of money on gas commuting to school so if this isn't too much more I am all over it.

"Rent is five hundred dollars a month. There's a ton of parking in back and there's cable if you want to have a TV in your room. I refuse to watch the corporate propaganda but I can't stop you." I look at him to see if he is kidding but I can see that this is a guy with some political convictions. I smile at him.

"This looks great, Jasper. I would love to live here but we should talk about…lifestyle choices?" He looks at me carefully for a second and shakes his head.

"Nah, I was just worried that you were a stoner. Alex was and he was always late with the rent and eating my food. Plus he made gross passes at my sister all the time. I can tell you're not a big loadie and as long as you can keep your hands off Rose you can move on in." He gives me a big smile and puts out his hand to shake it.

We sit in the living room for a while figuring out the details. I'm pretty eager to get off Vicki's couch so tell him I'm going to move my stuff in this weekend. I give him a deposit and he gives me some keys. We're getting along pretty well and I feel good about this. I decide to ask his advice for the sociology assignment.

"So Jasper. You seem political and involved and stuff. If you had to pick an organization or non-profit that you think does meaningful work what would you pick?" I am hoping he doesn't pick some radical student organization or one that wants to overthrow the government.

"Oh, that's easy. My sister runs a shelter for women and children here in Seattle. It's amazing work." This sounds perfect for Alice and I and I get the information from him on Rose's shelter and we say goodnight.

I leave Seattle seeing a door and a real bed in my near future. Maybe I could even have a real date. Unfortunately, when I think "date" I immediately flash to the Edward debacle and cringe. I am supposed to meet Alice for coffee after class tomorrow and I am praying that I don't have to talk anymore about it. I think about Alice and realize that there's like no chance of that happening.

**A/N #2: No stoners were harmed in the making of this update and I apologize if I offended anyone with my portrayal of the loadies here. I live in Northern California and have to share the pain every once in a while.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I don't own it.**

**Edward**

I slept restlessly and I'm sure I look like it as I go downstairs to get some breakfast before taking off for the University. I am relieved that this is not one of the days that Alice and I drive in together. I don't think that I could bear her presence in my car, changing my radio station and critiquing my wardrobe.

Esme is sitting at the table in the kitchen when I get there and she gives me a big smile.

"Good morning. I made some banana bread last night. I'll get you some."

I give her a kiss on the cheek and pour myself some coffee. Esme looks at me with concern and sits down next to me with my banana bread. Here in a nutshell are the pros and cons with living at home. On one hand I have Esme to take care of me and on the other hand I now have to have a conversation about how she's concerned.

"I didn't sleep well last night," I say, preempting her question. She pats my arm.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie." I freeze for a minute remembering Bella calling me "sweetie" the night before. I wonder when she is going to bring Angela's dress by and what I am going to say.

Just then Alice breezes into the kitchen. "Good morning, Mom. Good morning, Edward." She takes the piece of banana bread that Esme offers and sits down. She gives me a broad smile. I ignore her and concentrate on the newspaper. After a few minutes I look up and she is still smiling at me.

"What, Alice?" I look at her with irritation.

"You don't have anything to ask me?" I scowl at her expectant face. I know she wants me to talk about her friend. Any interaction I have with a female who is not my Mom, Emmett and Alice want to torture me about relentlessly.

I get up and put my dishes in the sink. "Yeah, are you riding in with me today?" She frowns at me.

"No, I have some errands to do."

"Alright, see you tonight." I walk out of the kitchen and grab my stuff to go to work. I look at my phone and see that I've gotten an email from Ben that the game demo is done so I need to pick it up on my way to work since I'm supposed to meet with one of the investors this afternoon.

As I leave the house I consider again the living at home at twenty-seven issue. It comes with obvious annoyances, in my case Alice and Emmett, not to mention a certain lack of privacy. On the other hand, I am not a terribly social creature by nature and I feel more comfortable with the companionship that my family provides.

I swing by Ben's house to get the disk for my meeting today, he is at work and I am unable to tell him that I will have to get Angela's dress from Bella to return to him. Arriving at the University well before time for my first class I swing by Ted's office to check in with him. He is with a student so I tell him that I will come by later.

I have about twenty minutes before my first class so I take circuitous path to the hall. I find myself walking by the library, looking for…what? Bella? I don't even know her schedule let alone whether she'd even be on campus right now. I change course to take myself directly back to the classroom and I spend the next two hours teaching systems design to a classroom of undergraduates. The questions are not exceptionally stupid today so it goes pretty smoothly.

I drive over to the restaurant that I have agreed to meet Marcus at arriving five minutes early as is my custom. I would have much rather had Ben deal with this part of the business but he was unavailable today. Marcus was part of a group of investors called the Volturi Group who provide development funds for computer-related projects like ours. I felt uncomfortable not only because securing funding is not my preferred area of work but because this computer game was really Ben's passion. I enjoyed the challenge and the opportunity to prove myself outside of academia but I am not interested in computer games.

Marcus arrives and finds me already seated.

"Greetings, Mr. Cullen. I trust you are well?" Marcus is Italian, as is his partners and he had a slight accent. He's dressed in a suit that is more fitted than I would like but Alice would probably adore.

"I am well Marcus. Here is the demo we promised you. It meets all the criteria you gave us." Marcus's eyes widen slightly. He is always taken aback by my desire to be blunt. I really hate this part of the job, I can't wait until we get funding and Ben can quit his job and deal with the "people" part of this job full time.

Marcus and I talk specifics for a few more minutes, I have to make the effort to keep him talking about business and not veer into small talk. Finally, we have eaten and there is a lapse in the conversation. I get up, picking up the check to soften the blow. I am suddenly brought back to the interaction I had with Dr. Arkadian last night and I am concerned that my inability to waste time with making nice may hurt our deal with the Volturi's.

"I hope that the rest of your trip to Seattle is enjoyable, Marcus. There are some great things to see in Seattle." Marcus is looking at me with surprise. It's not the sort of nicety that I usually indulge in.

"Actually, Mr. Cullen, my brothers and I are having a party this Friday for some of our business partners. It would be excellent if you and Ben could attend."

"It would be a pleasure, Marcus." I am thinking that this would be a great opportunity for Ben to encourage our partners to invest in our project.

"Ben has spoken to me of his lovely fiancée, Angela so I would love to have the opportunity to meet her. You too should bring a date."

Great. I am beginning to think that there is a rulebook that no one has shown me that says a twenty-seven year-old man can't be single. There must be men without girlfriends or wives out there somewhere.

I am contemplating this as I go back to the University to meet with Ted. He is in his office when I arrive and I find myself wondering how Ted gets away with being single.

"Edward." He greets me with a big smile. "You are the talk of the department this morning!"

"I probably don't even want to know." I have no idea what my colleagues are thinking about me now.

"Everyone was very impressed with your 'girlfriend' last night. It may actually convince people that you're human." Ted gives me an unusually mischievous look.

"Thanks Ted. Let's talk about the course descriptions for the spring, shall we?" I change the subject successfully and we spend the next hour working. I had desperately wanted information about the party last night but now that I find my success may be contingent on a skill set that I do not possess, namely having an appropriately entertaining girlfriend, I would prefer not to talk about it.

If I'm really honest with myself having any kind of girlfriend is not really a skill set I possess. I've been told that I'm attractive and being from a wealthy family certainly shouldn't hurt but I find that the women who are attracted to me because of these things are pretty uninteresting. Not to mention their profound disappointment that I am more interested in my work than in partying and that I consider my parent's wealth to belong to them.

Although I must admit that I don't refuse the nice clothes that Alice buys me and certainly I have a higher standard of living than most graduate students I am not the sort to shower the women I date with gifts. A definite source of tension with my most recent girlfriend.

And then there's the girls who aren't after me for my parent's money. The shy, bright girls in my classes and the doctor's daughters that my parents fix me up with. I should be overjoyed to find a girl who loves computers and academia and classical music the way I do. Unfortunately, I can't even find the motivation to keep myself awake when around these girls. Not to mention the fact that I am fundamentally unskilled when it comes to relationships.

I think about Carlisle and Esme and wish that I could find something like that. They are so perfectly suited to the other, they have the same interests, similar dispositions, and a deep affection for each other and for us.

I am not usually given to these kinds of musings and I am relieved that I am nowhere near Emmett as he has a tendency to call me "emo" and then try to wrestle with me. Alice is generally more sympathetic but would then try to fix my problems slumber party-style with pedicures and eighties movies. I'm not joking about the movies. I spent more nights than I want to remember in high school watching "Breakfast Club" with Alice and listening to her talk about her boyfriends.

I teach my second class of the day and am home before Alice. I make plans to meet with Ben the next day and change my clothes. I am going downstairs for dinner when Alice comes in. She's got something in a dry-cleaning bag which she holds out to me.

"Here you go, Romeo." She gives me a smile as I take the bag.

"What's this, Alice?"

"Angela's dress. I got it dry cleaned." I'm sure my face just fell.

"Oh, thanks." I take the dress and turn around to take it upstairs.

"Edward, are you OK?" Her voice is overly sweet and I am sure she knows what's wrong.

"I'm alright." I turn and give her a forced smile.

"Just making sure." She dances off into the kitchen to talk with Esme. I put the dress away and realize what I'm going to have to do. I'm either going to have to ask Alice for her friend's number or orchestrate a more complex stalking maneuver, like using the University computers or Googling her. Why her? I contemplate calling Tanya for a moment, trying to patch up the "relationship". It's only been six months and I'm sure if I was willing to spend more money on her and overlook how vapid she is I could get her to go to these things that require dates.

I make up my mind to do just that and then I look at the dress Alice handed me. If I go ask her for Bella's number now before Emmett gets here then I can probably convince her to not tell him.

I rush downstairs only to spend at least five minutes standing around in the kitchen awkwardly, waiting for Esme to leave. Alice is washing lettuce and ignoring me.

Finally I clear my throat and speak. "Um, Alice. I was wondering if…"

I don't have a chance to finish my sentence because Alice has reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. She hands it to me and I read it. It is written in Alice's handwriting but it says "Bella" and it has a phone number on it. And a smiley face.

My sister is a pain in the ass.

**A/N: I don't want to alarm you but I will probably only update 2-3 times per week starting Monday. I have to go back to work. Bummer for me, huh? Actually, my writing will probably get more interesting without my works-at-home husband talking to me every five minutes. On the dot. About nothing. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Bella**

So I start getting my stuff together at Vicki's as soon as I get home because I am so stoked on moving. James seems pretty happy about it as well but Vicki's trying to keep him from expressing it so he doesn't hurt my feelings. I don't have a lot of stuff here because a lot of it got left behind when I moved up here from Phoenix. I have some stuff in Forks at Charlie's place so when I get a chance I'm going to have to drive over there. The only thing I can think of that I need is a bed and I figure I can look on Craigslist or whatever.

I drive to school the next morning in a much better mood than I've been in. I really like my classes this semester and all of them are in my major except for the sociology one. It took me a while to get myself back on track after moving up here, what with having to establish resident status and having some different graduation requirements.

I go to my poetry class which is always pretty entertaining because it usually devolves into a debate between this chick who really likes Byron and the Romantic poets and this guy who's really into Bukowski. Funny stuff. After class I hang out in the student union looking at job opportunities because I really need to find something closer to my new place. New place! I'm excited just saying it. I find an ad for a sales clerk at an art supply place which seems like a cool job so I write the address down figuring I'll check into it later.

I go to my second class of the day which is Russian Literature and I get ready to feel the angst. I love the way Russian novelists can totally kick the asses of their characters and they can be all jaded and stuff but they just keep going! It's pretty awesome because maybe they find God or maybe they decide that there is no God but it makes you feel pretty good to not be them, regardless.

I'm done with school for the day and I have an hour before I meet up with Alice so I go to the art store to fill out an application. The people who work there are pretty hip and alternative and have cool hair and piercings but they seem pretty nice.

It's time to meet with Alice so I make my way over to the coffee shop where we're supposed to meet. She blows in five minutes later with a bunch of shopping bags and a huge smile on her face.

"Bella, how are you!" Alice sings when she says it and attracts the attention of everyone in the place.

"I'm good, Alice. I think I found a cool place for us to use for our project."

Alice gives me a slight pout. "You want to talk about the project?"

"It's just that I just found a new place that isn't my cousin's couch and my new roommate's sister runs a shelter for women. Cool, huh?" She gives me a big smile.

"Yeah, that sounds great!" We agree that I will call Rose and set up a time for Alice and I to come by and interview her. Then I tell Alice about my new place, because I am that excited about it. She offers to help me out with moving and stuff but I explain to her that I really don't have anything to move which reminds me that I am going to need to find a bed.

I am doing a pretty good job of steering the conversation away from the brother whose name shall not be spoken and Alice and I get finished up and agree to talk Friday after class. We are leaving the coffee shop and heading in separate directions when I hear Alice call my name.

"Yeah, Alice?

She looks at me with a smirk. "My brother asked for your number. I hope it was OK that I gave it to him." I glare at her. She was waiting this whole damn time to tell me this.

"Sure, Alice, Emmett seemed really nice." I smile at her.

"Oh, Bella," she looks at me with pity. "What are we going to do with you?"

On the way home I make a call to the shelter that Jasper's sister runs and leave her a message. I get home and start looking on Craigslist for a bed. I am able to locate one for fifty bucks in Tacoma but the ad says that it needs to be picked up by Sunday. I call the guy and tell him that I'll take it but now I have to find someone to help me move a bed. I am guessing that this is why I need to have guy friends. I ask James if he can help me but he says he's busy. Probably busy eating nachos and listening to Sublime.

I think about calling Jasper but I don't really even know him and I would seem like a serious loser asking him to do this for me. I am chewing my thumbnail and thinking about trying to talk my Dad into driving over from Forks when my phone rings. I don't recognize the number and I have this sudden feeling that it's Edward. I have this anxiety-induced chest pain and don't answer the phone, mostly because I'm an idiot. I stare at the phone until the message tone sounds and then I scramble desperately with my phone to hear the message.

"Hello, Bella. This is Edward Cullen, we met the other night? I'm Alice's brother? Um…anyway I would appreciate it if you could give me a call back at your earliest convenience. I have a matter I would like to discuss with you." And then he leaves his cell number as if it hadn't shown up on my phone. _"A matter I would like to discuss with you"?_ Who talks like this? My grampa?

I try to calm myself down by pacing the living room, thankful that I am alone. What is going on with me and this guy?

On one hand he's crazy hot and clearly smart and Alice seems cool so I know that he's probably not a serial killer or anything. He called me back after that disaster Monday night so maybe he's going to ask me out. But who asks people out saying: "I have a matter I would like to discuss with you."? Undertakers?

On the other hand he seems like a raging prick a lot of the time and he made me change my clothes and stuff so clearly he's not really physically attracted to me. I am just beginning to feel like I'm relatively human after what happened in Phoenix with Jake so I'm thinking someone who's not really into me is not the way to go right now.

So if this guy wants me to continue to pretend to be his girlfriend I think I need to say no. I feel like maybe he can be all unemotional but I'm a literature major for Christ sake! What if I go out with him and get all into him with his cake-bringing ways and his pretty face and really it's just a business thing for him? That would suck.

I am clearly stalling and I decide that I need to just get this out of the way before James gets home and anyone I'm on the phone with can hear his idiocy in the background. I hit the call back option on my phone and have a mini anxiety attack as it rings.

"This is Edward Cullen." His voice is actually really nice when he's not yelling at people; velvety and deep. I roll my eyes at myself.

"Hi, Edward. This is Bella Swan." There's this moment of silence. "You called me?" I say, annoyed with him for not remembering me.

"Yes, of course. Thank you for returning my call, Bella." I have this funny feeling about this because he's having good manners and not being bitchy. He wants something. "I appreciated that you were able to help me the other night and was hoping that you would be willing to go to a party with me on Friday night."

"Is this a work thing, again?" I knew it!

"Well, no. I mean, I guess it is a professional obligation. It's a party with some potential investors for a project that Ben and I have been developing. You recall Ben?"

"Yeah, I remember Ben. Did Alice give you Angela's dress back?"

"Yes, thank you. Would you being willing to join me on Friday? It would mean a great deal to me." I realize that I'm going to have to have this uncomfortable conversation with Edward but I suddenly don't want to do it over the phone. I get an idea.

"I'll make you a deal, Edward. I will go to your investor party with you if you help me pick up a bed in Tacoma on Saturday." He's quiet for a second.

"Pick up a bed?"

"Yeah, a bed. I'm buying a bed from this guy on Craiglist and I have to pick it up and I already have a truck. You just have to come with me to Tacoma to help me lift it and then help me get it into my new place in Seattle."

"Uh, that sounds like something I could…you're buying a bed on Craigslist?"

"Yeah, it's only fifty bucks. I don't have a bed."

"I can do that. Where should I pick you up on Friday?"

"You know, I live in Mountlake Terrace until Saturday. I can drive down there. What time do I need to be there?"

"Seven o'clock would be great. And, um, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"It's a party some wealthy investors and I…I will probably wear a suit and um…actually Alice usually picks out my clothes for these things so…"

"Edward, I'll try to wear something that won't embarrass you." I am pissed off at him again after feeling somewhat warm towards him due to his stuttering and awkwardness. "I gotta go. I will see you on Friday at seven, then?"

"Um, yeah, Bella. Thank you."

Looking at the state of affairs my record on getting someone to help me move the bed is spotless. My score for saying "no" to handsome assholes? Not so much.


	11. Chapter 11

**Edward**

_"It's a party some wealthy investors and I…I will probably wear a suit and um…actually Alice usually picks out my clothes for these things so…"_

I hang up the phone and then hit myself in the head with it. I am an unbelievable moron! Not only did I just offend her again when she was being fairly warm towards me but I told her that my sister dresses me! I'm twenty-seven, I like computers and my sister dresses me. Oh, and no one likes me. Did I mention that?

Well, I console myself, at least she agreed to go out with me. I can try to make up for being such a profound freak on Friday. I try to give that some thought. How am I going to convince this girl that I am not the unlikable, hyper-shallow mama's boy that I have made myself look like?

Why do I care? The question pushes itself to the surface. Why do I care what she thinks? Well, obviously my future success depends upon having some kind of date/significant other to take to these events. She has already met my coworkers at the University and they liked her. In the absence of anyone more appropriate I need to convince her to continue to attend these events with me.

Obviously I can't pay her; that would be insulting for me to even offer. She will probably have a finite number of beds she needs help picking up. (Who buys a bed on Craiglist?) So I will need to figure out another way to convince her. Monday night's experience and our brief conversation just now proved that she is more responsive when I am polite. But will that be enough?

I am running out of ideas and I am on the verge of asking Alice for advice but I dread getting my sister involved in this any more than she is. I shudder when I think of Alice managing my social life.

I wrack my brain for things that women like. Tanya liked…presents, attention and sex. Esme likes her family, gardening and music. Alice likes interfering with my life and shopping. I am having a problem coming up with a suitable way to win Bella's favor so I realize that I'm going to have to involve Alice.

With a dirge playing in my head I walk downstairs where Alice, Carlisle and Esme are sitting in the living room watching "Jeopardy". I sit down next to Alice on the couch and as quietly as I can I say: "Alice, can I get your help with something?"

As soon as it is out of my mouth Esme turns off the TV and all three of them turn to me with anticipation.

"It's about time!" Esme says, with a glance at Carlisle, who is looking a little sheepish and starting to get up.

"You too, Dad?" I look at him and he blushes slightly as he continues to walk out of the room.

"Sorry, Edward. I'm going to let the women deal with this one." He says this as he leaves.

"Edward, did you call Bella?" Alice is looking at me sternly. I glance at Esme who is waiting for an answer. I am mortified but at least Carlisle and Emmett aren't here.

"Yes. I am taking her to a party the Volturi investors are having on Friday."

Esme beams at me while Alice gives a squeal of excitement and pats my hand.

"I need your help, though."

"Does she need help with what to wear? Because I saw this great dress yesterday downtown."

"I think that she might get upset if I suggest that she needs help with her wardrobe."

"Ok, so what do you need help with?" Alice is looking at me curiously.

"I would like to convince Bella to continue to pretend to be my girlfriend, at least for a while. I need help figuring out how to get her to agree to that."

Esme frowns at me. "Edward, why wouldn't you just try to date her for real?"

"Well, I don't think that I am her type and she and I have already convinced my coworkers that she's my girlfriend."

Alice rolls her eyes at me and Esme just looks gently disappointed.

"Forget it. I'll just figure something else out. Maybe I'll ask Tanya." I get up.

"No!" My mom and Alice shout at the same time and Alice's hand shoots out and grabs my wrist. "We'll figure it out."

"Why don't I invite her for dinner before the party?" Esme suggests.

"Yeah, then we can try to convince her that you're not a total dick." Alice adds. Esme says: "Alice!" and shoots her a look.

"Sorry, Edward. We can show her all the likable things about you." Alice smiles.

"Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Alice." _I'm going to go try to find my balls now, Ok?_ I slump upstairs before Emmett can get in on the action and I proceed to spend an embarrassing amount of time alternating between appraising myself in the mirror and coming up with appropriate conversational topics for Friday night's dinner.


	12. Chapter 12

**Bella**

About an hour after I get off the phone with Edward "My Sister Dresses Me" Cullen I get another phone call. From Esme Cullen. Because apparently I'm the Cullen's new family project.

"Bella, dear, Edward told us that you are going to a party with him on Friday and we wanted to invite you to dinner first."

"Uh, that sounds great, Esme, if it's not too much trouble." I want to ask her if Edward knows about this plan but that feels kind of neurotic so I don't.

"Just show up 5:30-6ish. We're looking forward to seeing you again."

"Thanks, Esme. I'll see you then."

I am actually a little taken aback at the fullness and complexity of my social life at this point. I went from hanging out with Vicki and James and going to school to having this family adopt me. At least Esme and Alice have. I'm not sure how to feel about it.

I have little time to think about this because now I need to obsess about what I'm going to wear. I know I can call Alice and she's be happy to perform some wardrobe magic but I am feeling compelled to do this one on my own.

I know I don't even have a dress here at Vicki's so I go look through her closet. Unfortunately, Vicki's dressier options are all tie-dye or batik because she's such a dirty hippie. I see a trip to the mall in my future and I'm not feeling great about it.

I go to the mall the next day after work but it's as bad as I thought it was going to be. Maybe worse because not only is it crammed with teenagers, posters of pretty vampires and guys trying to sell me cell phones but I also totally fail at finding anything to wear. The stuff I see that might be Ok is really expensive, I can't find any shoes that look good and I can walk in without face-planting and some of the stuff I see is really sleazy. Like, lady of the night sleazy. Although, if I'm pretending to be with someone in exchange for bed-carrying services it's a slippery slope to getting a pimp, I guess.

I give up and decide to call Alice. She can help me with this and she might even agree to keep it a secret. I call her cell phone.

"Hi, Bella!" Alice sings my name.

"Hi, Alice. I think I might need your help with something."

"I know. Just come here after school on Friday and I'll find you something to wear."

"Alice, if you knew I was going to need help with this why didn't you just offer?" Her little "psychic friends" thing is kind of spooky.

"Edward specifically told me not to offer to help you. He didn't want me to hurt your feelings." What? Edward didn't want her to hurt my feelings? Because that's like_ his_ hobby?

"Oh," is all I can say. "Ok, Alice. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Bye!" Alice is so cheerful it's alarming. I think I just made her day.

I try to get wardrobe details out of Alice the next day in class but it's a no-go. She just looks me over to make sure that all of her fiendish plans are going to work on me and then says: "I'll see you later," mysteriously.

When I get to the Cullen's that afternoon I am relieved by the lack of Volvo in the driveway, the last thing I want is for Edward to see me show up an hour early wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

Alice hustles me upstairs and puts curlers in my hair, nail polish on my toes and starts arranging mysterious make-up tools like a surgeon. The fortunate part is that she has picked out what she wants me to wear and I don't have to do a bunch of trying on; Alice somehow gets it right the first time.

I'm wearing a dark purple dress with elbow-length sleeves so I don't feel too exposed and she just puts mascara and lip gloss on me so I don't feel like I have to go wipe it all off. The black heels she has me wearing expose my toes but they aren't too high so I think I can walk around in them for a while at least. She curls my hair and when she finally lets me look I actually don't look too bad. Much nicer than I would have done.

When she's done I thank her and we go downstairs to face the final test: will Edward freak out or does this meet his rigorous standards? I figure if his sister has been dressing him he should give her Bella-makeover the seal of approval.

We get downstairs and Esme and Carlisle fuss over me a little but there's no sign of Edward. After a few minutes he comes stomping down the stairs, though. He is wearing a dark suit and white shirt and he is holding a tie in his hand frowning at it.

Without looking up he says: "Alice, do you really think that this tie is the right one? It seems kind of 'World Series of Poker'." I laugh and then I realize that it's the first time I've ever heard Edward say anything funny.

He looks up and sees us and his eyes go wide. "Bella, I'm sorry, I had no idea…" He turns on Alice and looks at her suspiciously. "Alice, I told you not to…" he hisses at her.

"Bella asked me for help, Edward. And that tie is perfect for meeting with Italian businessmen. If you don't get at least five compliments on it I will eat my credit card." Alice holds her chin up proudly.

"Oh." He looks at me again. "Hello, Bella." He is still looking at me but he's not saying anything so Alice nudges him. "Oh, you look very nice, lovely."

"As soon as Emmett and Kate get here we'll eat." Esme said.

"Oh, Mom, you didn't invite Kate, did you?" Edward looks pained and Alice is groaning.

"Edward, she's Emmett's girlfriend. Be nice."

"What's wrong with her?" I ask, glancing from Alice to Edward. They look at each other.

"She's…well, you'll see." Alice says. Just then the front door opens and Emmett comes in with a tanned, shapely blond girl. I can tell she's tanned and shapely because she's wearing this miniscule t-shirt and like half of a skirt. I really can't help but stare she's so overdone, with really long bright pink nails and lips and just a bucket of makeup.

Emmett interrupts my trance. "Hey, Bella, great to see you again! Are you just using Edward to get to me?" He gives me a big grin.

"Yeah, Emmett, I'm pretty transparent, huh?" He laughs while Kate just looks at us like she doesn't know what's happening. Emmett introduces us and we go into the dining room where Esme has channeled some Martha Stewart action and arranged this dinner where even the mashed potatoes look pretty.

We all start eating and the Cullen's are making conversation about their weeks. I look at Edward and realize that he actually looks as relaxed as I've ever seen him. Kate is trying to follow the conversation and she decides to throw her hat in the ring by saying: "So, Emmett says you guys are all adopted."

There is the sound of a fork screeching to a halt on a plate and Emmett gives kind of a choking laugh and Edward's nostrils flare. I am embarrassed for Kate so I decide to interject.

"It's actually a lot more malevolent than that, Kate. Have you ever seen those shows about the feral children?" Kate looks at me with widened eyes and nods. I hear Carlisle chuckling.

"Well," I continue. "Emmett was one of those children. Carlisle and Esme found him while they were camping. Nobody knows what happened to his real parents but they found him playing with these bear cubs, foraging for food."

"It was a miracle." Alice says and Esme, smothering a laugh, turns away from the table.

"It was pretty easy to teach him language and get him to wear shoes but using utensils and indoor plumbing has been a real challenge for him." This comes from _Edward_ and I turn to him, stunned before cracking up. If you'd asked me ten minutes ago whether he would have joked like this I would have had you committed. He looks at me and winks.

Kate is looking at us with her mouth open and then she looks at Emmett with awe. Emmett laughs and scoops up more food from the dishes on the table.

"Yeah, well, Edward here was actually a science experiment gone wrong. They found him in the dumpster with the medical waste." Emmett says with a mouth full of food. Alice laughs.

"Emmett, you're just jealous of my special abilities." Edward stabs a pile of mashed potatoes.

"Yeah, what do you think _I'm_ doing with him?" I rub his arm suggestively and look at Kate. Her eyes get even bigger and the entire table is laughing. Then I realize too late that I've crossed a line and I look at Edward. He's laughing but he won't make eye contact with me.

"What about Alice?" Kate asks.

"Stork," Carlisle says.

I love this family which worries me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Edward**

Bella made this suggestive comment and rubbed my arm while we were joking with Kate, a favorite activity around here since Emmett started seeing her, and I can't even look at her because I'm afraid I'll stare. Is she flirting with me? Does this mean she's attracted to me? I have been going on the assumption that she's trying to be nice because Alice is her friend. Or she's just joking and not flirting.

I'm disoriented by how easily Bella fits into my family, how she participates in our jokes, how at ease I felt for a few moments but now I have probably ruined it by being awkward. Great. Edward Cullen: Mama's boy _and_ mood-killer.

I resolve to try to lighten up and I realize that the conversation has shifted to Bella's job search. I didn't even know she was looking for a job. It's too bad I can't offer to pay her to teach me to not be socially awkward.

"I had no idea you were looking for a job." I am able to look at her again. Bravo, Edward!

"Yeah, well, we can't all be trust-fund babies."

"I resent that accusation. I work for a living." I fake indignation.

"I'm sure your student teacher wages bought that suit." Ouch, she has a point.

"Hey, Kate," Emmett butts in. "You could get Bella a job where you work."

"Ooh, that would be great, Bella!" Kate is stoked on them working together. I, on the other hand, am turning purple.

"Where do you work, Kate?" Bella asks politely.

"Java Girls." Kate says sweetly.

"Isn't that…?" Bella looks uneasy.

"A topless coffee place? Yep." Emmett sits back in his chair with a big grin. "You should look into it, Bella. Kate here makes great tips."

"I don't know," Bella says. "I'd be worried that I'd spill hot coffee on myself." She says this while gesturing to her chest.

My family laughs, including me, and Bella blushes. I try looking at her but I am quickly embarrassed again because she is looking at me curiously and I have to look away.

"Well, we should get going. We've got to pick up Ben and Angela." I get up abruptly and Bella follows.

"Thank you so much for dinner, Esme and Carlisle." My parents beam at her.

"It was our pleasure, Bella. If you have to spend time with Edward the least we can do is feed you." Carlisle smiles at her as he speaks while Esme just stalks around the table to hug her.

We're quiet when we get into the car, awkward quiet. Then Bella says: "You are very different around your family."

Without looking at her I respond, "I hope I didn't offend you. I'm afraid we can be pretty immature."

"No, not at all!" Bella sounds almost upset. "I had a great time. You seem a lot less uptight around them." Is this a compliment?

There's a couple more minutes of silence and she says: "Can I ask you another question?"

"Yes." I can't look at her again.

"Were you upset when Kate mentioned you guys being adopted?"

"It's not something I advertise."

"Oh." I realize that I'm being dick but I don't know what to say. I don't really want to add the weirdness of my being adopted on top of my other "issues" and I certainly don't want her to feel sorry for me. I brood like a teenager some more and then we're at Ben's and we can't talk anymore.

We get out of the car and walk up to the door of Ben's place. Bella's not saying anything and I am concerned that I've offended her with my abruptness. I don't know how to fix it, however, so I focus instead on being all anal about where we're going and double-checking the address of the restaurant Marcus gave me.

Ben, thankfully, has better social skills than me and he introduces Angela and Bella. They seem to get along right away and they are having some kind of exchange that I can't hear while I am insisting that Ben look up the directions on Mapquest. Whatever it is they are both laughing and then Bella looks at me curiously. This is killing me and I try to overhear them but when I step away from the computer they stop talking and Ben gets the directions he printed that I totally don't need and we get into the Volvo and go.

I am trying to think of something to say to Bella to lighten up the mood but I am frustratingly awkward around her. I don't know why I always intend to say something that sounds normal or nice or interesting to her and what comes out is always so lame or dickish. I have resolved to make a joke about her stories she made up about me at the faculty party but as I'm talking my mouth mutinies and what comes out makes me sound like an asshole.

"Bella, I am hoping that you can refrain from making up outlandish stories about me this time."

I _know_ I sound like a dick as I say it and I wish I could just throw myself out of the moving car.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N I don't own it.**

**Bella:**

So Edward is getting all twisted up about the directions to the restaurant and I'm feeling like a jerk for bringing up the adoption thing.

Ben introduces me to his girlfriend and I say: "Hey, Angela. I've worn your clothes."

Thankfully she laughs and I introduce myself as "Edward's fake girlfriend".

She laughs again and says: "You can't be as fake as Edward's last girlfriend."

My curiosity is piqued and I lower my voice and say: "Do tell," with a smile.

She looks over her shoulder and when she looks back to me she says: "Tanya was going out with Edward for like six months and I swear to God she still called me Andrea, even though we saw each other dozens of times and she always hugged me like we'd been separated at birth." I laugh and then I realize that Edward is looking over here suspiciously.

"You'll have to tell me more later." I wink at her and she gets her coat and purse and we walk out to the Volvo.

Edward and Ben come out and we pile into the car and start to drive downtown. Edward looks at me several times like he wants to say something and finally he spits it out.

"Bella, I am hoping that you can refrain from making up outlandish stories about me this time."

"Edward, I'm totally willing to be an honest phony girlfriend but you're going to have to give me something to work with. How about you tell me three things about yourself that I don't know?" He frowns.

"I don't know what to…I am a graduate student, my dad is a doctor…"

I fake yawning and Ben and Angela laugh.

"What?" he looks irritated.

"That stuff is boring and I knew it already. Juicy stuff, Edward."

"We can tell you stuff." Ben is nothing but helpful from the backseat.

"Ok," I say eagerly, turning to face him. Edward starts to protest but I shush him.

"Edward and Emmett go paintballing at least once a month, he knows all about roses…"

"He prunes our roses every spring!" Angela interjects. I look at Edward who mumbles: "Esme taught me."

"What else?" I say, looking at Ben.

"He's gonna kill me for this…" Ben looks at Edward who is glaring at him in the rearview mirror. "He loves Steely Dan," Ben blurts out and I clap my hands together in glee.

"What about you, Bella? You have to tell him three facts about you!" Angela is _not_ my friend.

"Besides the fact that you're a pathological liar." Edward adds. Now he has a sense of humor? Or maybe he's not joking?

"Uh, I taught myself how to knit so I could stop biting my nails, I like any band that has Jack White in it and I've seen every episode of the original Star Trek series at least twice." I am pretty proud of myself for keeping it light and not saying "I haven't had a date in two years" or "I cry whenever I listen to any one of a dozen songs that came out in 2008." Because I am the soul of discretion.

"The real question is, what is your favorite Steely Dan album?" Ben asks from the backseat and Edward shoots him another dirty look.

"Uh, they did that song, 'Deacon Blue,' right? I like that one." I smile at Edward who gives me the tiniest trace of a smile before refocusing on his directions.

We get to the place that the Volturi Group has reserved and I swear to God I feel like I'm sixteen and going to prom but accidentally showed up at a rich person party because the place is so fancy. Except it's like I went to prom with my teacher because Edward totally fits in with his Italian suit and "World Series of Poker" tie. They have reserved this whole room and rich looking guys and frickin' supermodels are standing around drinking martinis.

I give Angela a wide-eyed look and she gives me a reassuring smile. Edward takes my elbow and walks me in and introduces me to these three older European guys, Aro, Marcus and this third one that I can't remember. They seem surprised to even see Edward, let alone with a date, but they are really polite and do that hand-kissing thing and comment on how "Bella" means "Beautiful".

I guess I should have expected it, Italian party and all, but I mean I've had this name for twenty one years and it's one of the few words of Italian anyone knows so I've only heard it like a bazillion times. Imagine naming your kid "queso". Everyone knows that means "cheese" so the little tike would be doomed to a life of people saying, "Did you know that means 'cheese' in Spanish?"

Edward and Ben get pulled aside by the Italian guys, who apologize in their slick European way, to talk some business. Angela and I brave the food table, which looks too pretty to mess up by taking stuff off of it.

A waiter offers me a glass of wine, which I take. I turn to Angela.

"Angela, don't let me have any more than this. I have to drive home."

"Where do you live? We can drop you off."

"No. I live all the way up in Mountlake Terrace."

"I know, you can spend the night! It'll be awesome."

"Ben won't mind?" I am kind of excited about potentially not having to make the drive tonight.

"No, he'll think it's great."

"Ok. But don't let me drink more than two glasses of wine. I'm a total lightweight and I'll end up singing Journey songs and making out with the waiter."

Angela and I are hanging, just laughing about how totally awkward it is to be here with all these beautiful people. I mean, Edward looks like he belongs here and Alice has done some make-over magic on me but Ben's pants are just a little too short and Angela confesses to me that she got her shoes at Walmart.

Then this guy comes over and starts doing his European flirty thing with us. You know, "You two are far too beautiful to be left alone like this," blah, blah. And of course, he's gotta do the "Bella/beautiful" thing. Angela and I are rolling our eyes at each other and then Ben comes over and gets Angela because he wants to introduce her to someone and I'm all alone with this guy and I tell him I'm a literature major which is a profound mistake because apparently he's like a Dante expert.

Great, I wonder which circle of hell I'm right now?

**A/N: Thank you for all your kind reviews, I don't usually respond because I find myself becoming repetitive and gushy and then I want to punch myself. **

**Additionally I'm thinking about getting a beta/pre-reader because as embarrassed as I am by being a teacher and making spelling/grammar errors it's more embarrassing when I see it after I post. See, the first step to getting better is admitting you have a problem! So if anyone loves this enough to criticize my writing/plot fails let me know.**


	15. Chapter 15

**a/n: Thank you to my new awesome and patient beta; EverlastingMuse! S.M owns Twilight, not me.**

**Edward:**

I'm answering questions for Marcus about the demo that I gave him earlier in the week and how the final product will be different when I glance over to where Bella and Angela were and I'm furious at what I find.

Angela is no longer there and this guy I haven't met is talking to Bella in a very intimate way. I watch for a minute to try to make sense of what I'm seeing. Bella isn't really my girlfriend at all, if she met someone she was interested why would she act on it? At a party I took her to? I have no idea; I want to think better of her but stranger things have happened with some of the women I've dated.

As I watch I can see the guy reach out a hand to touch her cheek and I see her take a step away from him. He follows but I have the information I need.

Excusing myself, I walk over to them. Bella can't see me coming and the guy has no idea she's here with me so he pays no attention.

I'm furious and without thinking about it I slip my arms around her waist from behind and bury my face in her hair. She starts and then realizes that it's me and she relaxes into me.

"Silvio, this is my boyfriend, Edward. Edward, Silvio." I detach my hand from her waist to extend my hand to Silvio, who I could just eviscerate right now, but settle for giving him the aggressively firm handshake beloved of men everywhere accompanied by an angry glare.

"Silvio, so nice to meet you." I turn my attention back to Bella and give her ear a nuzzle just to hammer home the point. She feels wonderful and I begin to feel conflicted. Do I wait for her to pull away? When will she? Does she like being close to me?

Silvio looks a little rattled, either by our affection or my death-stare, and he mumbles something about getting food and wanders off. His timing is excellent because I realize that I'm going to have to move my body away from Bella's because about a millimeter away from her is a part of my anatomy she really probably didn't want to meet here but he's pretty excited about making her acquaintance.

I pull back and look at her as she turns to face me. She looks a little flushed. I, for one, am glad my suit coat is buttoned up, because if she saw my...let's just say it wouldn't be pretty.

"Thank you so much!" She smiles at me, rolling her eyes at the retreating Silvio. "Dude was talking to me about Dante but I think there was some literary subtext there, if you know what I mean."

I laugh awkwardly and feel like I need to run away. This is totally weird because I'm not normally a total perv but I'm having an embarrassing erection based on my contrived intimacy with my pretend girlfriend.

"Let me go get you another drink," I offer, taking Bella's empty glass and looking around to make sure she's going to be safe for the two minutes it's going to take me. The coast is clear so I fetch her another glass of wine and take it back to her.

"You're not drinking?" she asks me.

"No. I don't drink very often. It doesn't agree with me."

"Oh." She takes a sip of her wine. "I can only have like two drinks. Any more than that and I'm dancing on the furniture and telling everyone I love them." I look with alarm at her drink.

She sees me do this and laughs. "Don't worry. I'm ok so far."

Thankfully, Ben and Angela rejoin us at that point before I can ruin the fragile equilibrium Bella and I have for the moment.

We manage to get through the next half hour relatively unscathed. That is until Angela notices the piano.

"Oh, Edward. You have to play something for Bella." I scowl at her.

"I had no idea you played." Bella says. She's looking at me curiously; I'm guessing that she wouldn't have predicted this from me.

"No, I don't like to play in public." I am mumbling and turning away from Bella's stare. I hope she doesn't think that I don't want to play for her; I just don't want to play the piano here. It's too public and these are people related to business, not my family.

I split off from them for the half hour or do that it takes to satisfy all the social obligations we have here. Then I indicate to Ben that we can get out of here and we get Angela and Bella and go. The two women seem like they are getting along well, they are laughing together and talking quietly.

It occurs to me that it is getting close to ten and Bella, although she seems pretty coherent, had two drinks and has to drive home. I want to invite her to stay at my place but I have no idea how to do it without sounding weird. I should have thought ahead about it, had Alice invite her to spend the night. I think about calling Alice to get her advice but I'd have to get away from my companions to do that.

We drive back to Ben's house and I suggest to him that we debrief the party. He rolls his eyes at me but agrees and invites me in.

We sit in the living room while Angela and Bella talk in the kitchen. I can hear their giggles and I am too distracted to have a productive conversation.

The third time Ben has to remind me of someone's name I finally apologize.

"I'm sorry, Ben. I know I'm the one who wanted to do this. I'm just a little distracted."

"I figured," Ben says with a smile. "You know, Angela wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable with that piano thing. I think she was trying to help you out."

"Help me out? How?"

"By giving you a chance to show a different side of yourself to Bella."

"It's not like that Ben, with Bella." I shake my head and Ben looks at me with amusement.

"Yeah, Ok. I guess I misunderstood." Ben is still smiling at me.

"I'm going to see if Bella wants to spend the night. With Alice, I mean." I add as Ben raises an eyebrow.

"Oh. She's spending the night here. Angela invited her so she wouldn't have to drive home." I am disappointed. I need to get out of here before I look any more pathetic and childish. What am I? Five?

"I'm going to get going then." I walk over to the kitchen and stand in the doorway. Bella and Angela are drinking sodas and laughing about something. Bella looks so happy. She looked like that during parts of dinner with my family tonight. She doesn't look like that when she and I speak generally.

They see me and their laughter trails off.

"I just wanted to say goodnight. Bella, I'll see you tomorrow?"

She looks caught off guard. "Yeah, I'll call you when I'm ready to go to Tacoma. Maybe two o'clock?"

I nod. "Goodnight Bella, Angela."

Seriously, I'm like five years old and I'm going to run crying to my mom. What the hell is going on with me?


	16. Chapter 16

**a/n: I don't own Twilight but my beta, EverlastingMuse, owns my gratitude and the fastest red pen in the world!**

**Bella**

Goddamn Jekyll and Hyde. I swear this guy has multiple personalities.

I absolutely adore the guy who joked around with me at the dinner table at his parent's house. He likes Steely Dan and can prune roses? Sign me up for some of that. When he did that jealous boyfriend thing and saved me from the Dante guy? Oh my gosh! I wanted to yank on his "World Series of Poker" tie and make out with him.

Then there's his evil twin brother. The one who becomes abrupt when I asked him about his adoption. The one who refused to play piano in front of me and hurt my feelings. The one who didn't want to talk with me at all once we left the party and barely said goodbye. Maybe I could get the evil one to grow a goatee so I can tell which one I'm with...

Angela lends me some pajamas and she and I sit in the living room and laugh about what a total uptight jerk Edward can be. Then she starts to feel sympathy for him. Where did that come from?

"I know he's hard to take, Bella, but I think he's had a hard life."

"Are you kidding me? You've seen the Cullen mansion and what saints his parents are, right? Whatever's wrong with Edward clearly hasn't hit Alice or Emmett." I know that this is small-minded of me, but I'm pretty frustrated.

"I don't know a lot of details but Ben and Edward have been friends since high school and he has indicated that Edward's been through a lot. I mean, he is adopted and I don't think that all the children came from the same family."

"Whatever, I was only doing this faux-girlfriend thing this one more time, anyway. I guess I don't need to spend a bunch of girl time analyzing him like I'm in high school." Angela raises an eyebrow at me like she doesn't believe me.

"What?" I say.

"So you don't want to hear more about Tanya? I guess it doesn't matter to you." She says nonchalantly, like it wouldn't bother me. I glare at her.

"Demon," I say. "Tell me."

"Tanya was pretty but really materialistic. She was trying to get Edward to propose and she picked out the ring she wanted out of the Tiffany's catalog and it was fifty-thousand dollars!"

"Really? What did he do?"

"Well, they were only together like six months and she hated being around his family, she thought they were 'too close'." Angela does the "air quotes" and I laugh.

"Like, incest, too close?" I say just to make her laugh.

"No, but you see how he is with his family. They're really close. So they broke up, and I'm assuming she split up with him because Alice told me she was dating this doctor like two weeks later."

"How sad! Was he in love with her?" I don't want to hear that he's hung up on some supermodel.

"Hard to tell. He didn't seem really happy with some of the stuff that they did. He isn't really into rich kid stuff, like the way she was, you know like Vegas and skiing in Colorado and stuff. I mean, he could do that stuff but I think that he's rather hang out with Ben or at home or something."

"Huh," I am trying to figure out how to pump Angela for more information without seeming like a spaz.

"Before that I've only known one other of Edward's girlfriends." She bites her lip, trying to remember something.

"Ben?" she yells to her boyfriend in the other room. He shambles in, a happy smile on his face.

"Oh, am I allowed into the inner sanctum now?" he asks teasingly, kissing Angela on the head and sitting next to her on the couch.

"Yeah, I was just running down Edward's girlfriends for Bella."

Ben smirks and says: "You mean all three of them?" I laugh.

"You've got to be kidding me. Three?" I look at Ben in amazement.

"You've met the guy." Ben shoots back to me and laughs. "He's had a bunch of dates but he's…moody. And picky. Bad combination."

"What was the name of the one with the voice?" Angela looks at Ben.

"Allison."

"Allison, that's right! The one before Tanya was like the opposite, she was like the anti-Tanya. She was like soooo sweet you wanted to take some insulin. And she had this little tiny voice." Angela looks at Ben to corroborate her story.

"Edward, did you remember to pick up my grandma's allergy medicine?" Ben says in this high-pitched little voice and Angela almost falls off the couch with laughter.

"Damn, you guys are brutal. What are you going to say about me when I'm gone?"

"Oh, Bella, we like you. Plus, I thought you said you weren't going to see him anymore?" Angela teases me.

"You're not going to go out with him anymore?" Ben seems upset by this.

"Well, I'm like his fake girlfriend anyway. It's not like we like each other." Ben and Angela look at each other.

"Yeah, maybe you don't." Ben says. "I think he likes you. And even if he doesn't, we like you more than the others so you have to save us from the horrific nature of Edward's usual dates."

"Yeah, we're letting you spend the night. You have to suck it up and deal with him." Angela puts her hands together to pretend to beg me.

"Whatever, guys. Let me get some sleep then. I have a long silent car ride to Tacoma in my future."

Ben and Angela go off to bed and I send Alice a text message asking if she can bring my truck and my clothes by here the next day so I don't have to go over there in pajamas or the dress I was wearing the night before.

I fall asleep on the couch to be awoken by a knocking on the door. It's light out and I look around for a clock. It's eight o'clock on a Saturday morning. Does Alice have no shame? It's eight o' clock, damn it! A person needs sleep.

I run to the door to get it before she knocks again and wakes up Ben and Angela. I open the door to Edward. With a cup of coffee in his hand. I am clearly still asleep so I stand there in Angela's pajamas staring at him.

"Good morning, I hope I didn't wake you?" He offers me the cup of coffee. "It's got cream and sugar. I asked Alice how you took your coffee."

I wake up enough to curl my hand around the cup and to decide that I should let him in. He hands me a bag.

"Your clothes." He comes in and takes a seat.

"I was expecting Alice." I finally manage to say.

"I know. I convinced her that I would be more helpful to you while you were moving."

"Edward, I'm not going to be ready to get the bed until later. I have to get my stuff from Mountlake Terrace first."

"I know. I wore my moving clothes." He gestures down to his clothes and I laugh. His moving clothes are a pair of spotless jeans, suede tennis shoes and a button-up shirt. His concession to manual labor is that his shirt is not tucked in.

"I really appreciate this, Edward, but…"

"It would be rude to reject my offer of assistance." He says with something like…anger?

"Ok. Let me get dressed." I put on my clothes from the day before and leave a note for Ben and Angela thanking them.

Edward and I get into my truck. I wish I'd seen him driving it over here; that would have been entertaining, especially when it gave off a big plume of smoke when he started it.

"So, just to warn you, you're going to have to meet my cousin and her boyfriend." I look at Edward who is busy looking out the window and not making conversation with me.

"That's ok. You met Emmett." He looks at me. "And Kate." I laugh.

"Yeah, she's pretty…colorful," I say. He smiles.

"Yeah, Emmett goes through a lot of girlfriends. She's got a few more days."

"There's a timeline?"

"One month." Edward says with a smirk.

"Ouch! How about you?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" He looks perplexed.

"Do you have a timeline?"

"No, but the longest I've been with someone was six months."

"Oh." I am afraid to ask any more questions because I like this Edward, you know, the one who speaks to me.

"How about you?" He asks. "Do you have a timeline?"

"I've only had one boyfriend. There's not enough data to extrapolate from."

"How long were you together?" He is asking me these personal questions but he's not looking at me.

"Almost four years." I say and then I really have to change the subject because I can't talk about the apocalypse that was Jake with someone this…unpredictable. "I have to warn you that I will go to any garage sale I see. It's kind of a compulsion."

"Really? So it's not just Craigslist? You're drawn by used stuff of all kinds."

"Thrift stores, flea markets, rummage sales, whatever."

"You don't like new stuff?"

"I just prefer old stuff."

"Maybe there's hope for me then." _What? Did he just flirt with me?_

I cannot figure out how to respond to this so I change the subject again.

"So Steely Dan, huh?"

"Yeah, Carlisle is a big fan and he got me into them. They have interesting lyrics and they're great musicians."

"I don't really know them that well. They're kinda seventies light rock, huh?"

"Yeah. I have pretty weird taste in music."

"Oh, I don't mean that. I really like Pink Floyd." I spit out this non sequitur so he doesn't feel like I'm picking on him.

"Yeah?" He looks at me. "Me too."

Dear Lord, we have something in common. Inside I'm doing a happy dance. Or is that terror?


	17. Chapter 17

**a/n: I don't own Twilight but my amazing beta, EverlastingMuse, owns my gratitude.**

**Edward:**

I was disgusted with myself for being so awkward. I wanted Bella to like me, but I had behaved so ridiculously, exhibiting mood swings that must have made her dizzy. On my way home from Ben's house, where I had realized that Bella would rather hide out in the kitchen with a woman she had just met than talk to me, I faced the reality that I was running out of opportunities to convince her to continue to help me.

I cornered Alice as soon as I arrived home to figure out if she knew when Bella was coming by to get her truck the next day. She confessed to me that Bella had asked her to bring her truck and her clothes to Ben's the next morning. Alice was pleased to see me take this task over.

I showed up in the morning with coffee and insisted that she let me help her move. I was determined to make every effort I could to make Bella like me and I knew that this was my last chance.

What I wasn't expecting was my reaction to her when she opened the door of Ben's house.

She was wearing a pair of over-sized pajamas and no make-up. I had clearly woken her up and her hair was a mess. She was beautiful.

The times before when I'd seen her I had been so concerned about dressing her up, making her look like my idea of what appropriate was. I had never seen her looking so…_herself._ She took my breath away.

Bella and I actually have a fairly civil conversation on the way to Mountlake Terrace. My feeble effort at flirting went over like a lead balloon, but other than that we are able to talk and I find out she's only been in one relationship in her life, which surprises me. She's so beautiful, and funny and smart,and...I'm surprised she doesn't have a boyfriend now. Not that I'm complaining or anything.

We get off the freeway and are driving to her cousin's apartment when she suddenly turns into a cul-de-sac and says, "I warned you!" She points to a yard sale in progress in front of one of the homes and parks her truck. She gets out and I follow her.

There are toys, household appliances, clothing, sports equipment and all sorts of other detritus spread out in front of the house. There is a middle-aged blond sitting in a lawn chair overseeing the entire mess who waves to us as we walk up.

"Oh, this is exactly what I need!" Bella rushes over to an old-fashioned looking dresser. It's very girly, with curving edges and it's painted pale pink with gold accents. There's an ovular mirror attached to the top. Bella brushes her hands over it and tries the drawers. It's the most excited I've seen her since the chocolate cake at the faculty party.

"How much for your dresser?" I ask the women on the lawn chair, taking out my wallet. I am dying to buy this dresser for Bella, which is weird because I hated buying things for Tanya, mostly because she expected it.

"Edward, put your wallet away," Bella says to me, continuing to inspect the dresser.

"Fifty dollars," Lawn Chair Lady says to me with a smile.

"How about twenty-five?" Bella calls over to her.

"Forty-five." The woman says. She doesn't give Bella the smile I got.

I step closer to the woman and give her my most charming smile. "She really needs a dresser and I'd like to get it for her but she won't let me spend that much on her. Can you help me out?" I have lowered my voice and I hope Bella can't hear me.

The woman smiles at me again and winks. "I'll tell you what, Cutie," she says. "You give me thirty-five dollars and take off your shirt when you load it." I'm a little embarrassed but I want this dresser.

"Deal," I say, handing her the money before Bella can intercede. I walk over to the dresser where Bella is still considering her next offer. I take off my button up and Bella sees my t-shirt and gives a short laugh.

"What?" I raise an eyebrow at her and then take off my t-shirt and hand both shirts to her.

"What are you…are you taking your clothes off!" Bella's voice lowers to a shocked whisper. I smirk at her and nudge her aside so I can pick up the dresser.

"Do you have any rope or bungee cord to secure it?" I ask over my shoulder. She just stares at me as I walk the dresser over to her truck. I place the dresser in the back and get into the bed of the truck to lay it flat. After a long moment Bella unfreezes and goes to the cab to find some rope.

I secure the dresser flat in the bed of the truck so it won't slide around and I jump down out of the truck. Bella is lingering on the sidewalk, trying not to look at me but I can see her sneaking peeks at my chest. I walk over to her, stopping maybe a little closer than was necessary and take my t-shirt out of her hand. She looks up and meets my eyes. She is flushed and biting her lip. I felt a sudden and bizarre compulsion to bite that lip...

I pull my shirt back on quickly and wave to the lady in the chair. "Thanks!" Turning to Bella, "Ready?" She still looks somewhat stunned but she nods and gets into the truck.

"You really didn't have to do that." Bella starts driving and she's not looking at me.

"What?" I say innocently.

"Buy me a dresser. Act like eye-candy for that creepy lady." Bella is starting to smile.

"Not a big deal. You needed a dresser."

"I think I'm going to take you to garage sales more often, then. Who knows how much money you'll save me." She smiles as she pulls into an apartment complex.

"Here we are." We get out and walk to a first floor apartment. She stops as we get to the door.

"I need to warn you, my cousin and her boyfriend are…well, you'll see. Just don't smoke anything they offer you." I raise an eyebrow at her.

"I wouldn't…good to know." We go in and the living room is empty but the coffee table is a sea of food wrappers, magazines, ashtrays, bottles and other junk.

"I have to take a shower before we take off or you won't be able to hang out in the truck with me. Do you want something to eat?"

"No, I'm fine. I'll just sit here and read…" I look around on the table. "…about tattoos." I show her the copy of the tattoo magazine I find.

"Great," Bella rolls her eyes and leaves the room.

A few minutes later I hear the water turning on and then a door open and a disheveled man walks out into the living room. He's got shaggy blond hair and he's wearing a wrinkled t-shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. I get up and offer my hand in introduction.

"I'm Edward Cullen. You must be James?" He looks at me curiously and then shakes my hand.

"Yeah, you're with Bella?" He asks, walking into the kitchen. I hear the refrigerator open.

"Yes, I'm helping her move." James walks out with a Pepsi in his hand.

"You want one?" He gestures to the soda. I shake my head.

"No thank you." James sits down on the sofa and continues to eye me.

"So, you and Bella, huh?" He is shaking his head.

I don't have an opportunity to respond because just then a red-haired girl comes put of the same room. She's slightly less slovenly than James and is wearing a Grateful Dead t-shirt and tie-dyed shorts. She gives me a sweet smile and I rise from the couch again to shake her hand.

"Hi, I'm Vicki. I'm Bella's cousin. You must be Jasper?"

"Edward." James says and sips noisily on his Pepsi. Vicki looks at him, clearly confused.

"My name is Edward. I'm helping Bella move." She nods slowly and then walks into the kitchen.

"I'm going to make some coffee. Would you like some?" Vicki calls from the kitchen.

"No thank you." Vicki crashes around in the kitchen some more.

"So, how long have you been seeing Bella?" James is still looking at me speculatively.

"Not long. Why?" I am hoping to get some data on Bella's last boyfriend.

"No reason," James says, scratching his stomach. "You are just really different from the other one."

"How so?" I try to look casual.

"James, what are you talking about?" Vicki comes back in and sits on the couch next to him.

"I was just telling Edward here about Bella's old boyfriend." Yeah, James, except that you haven't told me anything yet!

"Don't talk about that stuff, Honey. Edward doesn't want to hear that." You are wrong, Vicki!

"I don't mind. It's nice to know what kind of shoes I'm filling."

"You mean moccasins," James smirks and Vicki smacks him. Does that mean he is Native American or a Boy Scout?

"Bella doesn't talk about him so I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate this conversation." Vicki gives both of us stern looks and walks into the kitchen to get her coffee. Bella is going to be out any minute and I've got one more chance to get information out of my new gossip buddy, James.

"So, help me out here, James. What was he like?" I lean forward so Vicki can't hear me and give James an encouraging smile.

James glances at the kitchen to see if Vicki can hear us. "I never met him personally but from what I've heard Bella say he's a big football player, with the emphasis on the word 'player'. And apparently he and Bella started dating like in junior high or something."

I'm a little embarrassed to be gossiping like this with the stoner on the couch but if I can get information that I can work with it will be worth it.

Unfortunately, I am unable to get any more dirt from my new buddy James because Bella comes out, wearing worn jeans and a Sun Devils sweatshirt. She is adorable. She looks warily at James and I on the couch.

"Hey, I see you've met." She is looking at me uneasily. "Shall we get started?"

I get up and she shows me a pile of boxes in the dining room. We get started moving the boxes out to her truck. She doesn't have a lot of stuff and we are done within about twenty minutes. James gets up off the couch and helps while Vicki gets Bella a cup of coffee. We finish loading up boxes and Bella grabs an suitcase and a backpack from the corner of the living room and throws them into the back of the truck as well.

"Vicki, thank you so much! I'll be in touch soon." Bella hugs her cousin, who seems to really be sad to see her go. Bella turns to James.

"James, I appreciate you letting me stay here all this time." I notice that she gives him a somewhat cooler pat on the arm.

"It was nice meeting you, Vicki, James." I give them both a nod and James offers me his fist to bump.

"Great to meet you, Edward. You should come back with Bella for dinner or something." Bella stares at James and then at me and then shakes her head slightly as she gets into the truck.

We get back on the road and head towards the freeway. After a couple minutes I say to Bella: "Are you interested in stopping for lunch after we drop off your boxes?"

She looks at me warily. "Why, are you having the munchies?"

"What?" I look at her with shock. She thinks I got stoned with James?

"You just seemed to be having a little bromance with James back there. I thought maybe you guys were getting stoned together." She looks angry.

"I have never smoked pot in my life, Bella. James and I were just talking while you were taking a shower." Why would she assume that?

"About what?"

"Nothing important." I really don't want to tell her I was pressing him for information about her.

"You can barely speak to me and you and that loser James are best buddies?"

I can't think of how to respond without making her angry so the cab of the truck lapses into silence. Again. Why me?

I am failing at this. Apparently the more I like Bella the more I screw things up.


	18. Chapter 18

**a/n: I know I **_**said**_** that this was all going to be Edward and Bella's point of view but Jasper was screaming to tell this part of the story. Hopefully I won't turn this into one of those stories that has a billion POVs.**

**My beta, EverlastingMuse, is all awesomeness.**

**Jasper:**

I wake to the sounds of National Public Radio coming out of my alarm clock. Eight o'clock in the morning. Why in the world did I want to get up at eight o'clock on Saturday morning?

Then I remember; my new roommate moves in today. I've never had a female roommate and I want to make sure the place is clean. I like having the place stay clean and not like some of the bachelor hovels some of my friends live in, you know, nothing on the walls but some food. I'm really hoping that having a female roommate will help with this.

I immediately chastise myself for having such a sexist thought. Rosalie would kill me if she heard me say something like that out loud. Such is the contradiction of trying to be a politically correct, liberal, enlightened man when you were raised by the most conservative, Southern parents ever. I feel like I have Ralph Nader and a 19th century Southern gentleman living in my head at the same time, arguing constantly. It's war, man. I hate it.

It's a bitch for my love life, too! You have no idea what it's like finding some hot, neo-Marxist, women's studies major agree to go out with you and then refuse to see you after the first date because you can't stop yourself from opening doors for her and picking up the check.

I drag myself out of bed and into the kitchen where I make some coffee (shade-grown, free trade beans, thank you) and sit down to read the paper. Then I clean up the apartment with environmentally friendly cleaning products. I have to borrow Rosalie's vacuum so I go upstairs to see if she's around.

She's nowhere to be found so I let myself in to her place to get the vacuum. She works too much and my love life might be sparse but she hasn't been on a date in months.

I am ready by about ten o'clock and I sit down to study. I had let my father talk me into going to law school, thinking that I would be able to really stick it to the man when I became a labor lawyer or took a job with the ACLU. The joke was really on me, however, when I discovered my profound boredom with and dislike of the law. I was starting my second year and just hadn't dropped out because I had no feasible alternative. Who says having parents with money was a piece of cake? I couldn't help but think if I was hungrier that I would have been motivated to commit to something.

I am rescued from the tedium of my law studies by a knock on the door. With relief I get up to answer the door to see Bella.

"Bella, you live here. You don't need to knock!" I usher her in and to my surprise a man comes in with her. He's in his late twenties, really well dressed for someone helping a friend move, with expensive jeans and a Nine Inch Nails t-shirt under an exquisitely tailored button-up shirt. He had slightly messy copper colored hair and dark framed glasses and was very handsome in a perfect, almost feminine way. He wasn't the kind of guy I would have imagined Bella with, she seemed so laidback and this guy seemed fastidious.

"Jasper, this is Edward." Bella introduced us, gesturing to him without looking at him. She seemed tense.

"Jasper." Edward offered his hand and spoke my name curtly. I was definitely not getting a lot of warm fuzzies out of this guy.

"We just have some boxes to bring in and then we're going to go pick up my bed." Bella smiled at me.

"I'll come help." I pulled on a coat and walked out to her truck.

She really didn't have that much stuff. There were maybe eight boxes, a suitcase and an antique dresser with a mirror on the top. We got it all unloaded and the two of them were still kind of edging around each other refusing to make eye contact.

"I need to find the guy's number with the bed and call him to let him know we are on our way." She is talking to Edward but looking over his shoulder.

"Ok," he says and watches as she walks into her new room. Then he turns to me.

"So, Jasper. Have you had a lot of female roommates?" He is eying me suspiciously and I realize that they must be arguing about her moving in with me. Is he the boyfriend? Because if he is, I am in deep shit right now.

"No, I haven't. I think it will be Ok, though." I try to look as relaxed as I can about this but Edward is moving closer to me.

"I'm concerned about impropriety. Bella is very beautiful." I am getting a little offended, this guy is confronting me about making a play for his girlfriend and she just moved in twenty minutes ago! What is his problem?

"Well, I guess we can put a chain lock on the inside of her door. You know, just in case I lose control." I sneer at him.

Big mistake. All of a sudden this guy goes from being mildly geeky and civilized to standing a foot away from me and scaring the shit out of me. He's got a look on his face like he genuinely wants to hurt me and his posture tells me he's not a stranger to a fight. I am totally out of my depth, I haven't been in a fight since my freshman year in high school and I lost that one.

Mr. Crazy leans in to me and with a menacing hiss he says: "Or maybe we could just put a lock on the _outside_ of your door."

I take a step back and put my hands up in surrender. "Dude," I say, my voice sounds shaky." "I will keep my hands off your girl. I swear."

He takes a step back and nods slowly, the threatening look leaving his face.

"Thank you, Jasper. I appreciate that." His voice has the cultured veneer he came in with. I have no opportunity to process because Bella comes out of her room at that moment.

"Ok, I'm ready. I'll see you later, Jasper." She waves to me.

"Jasper, nice to meet you." Edward gives me a tiny smile. I give them a little wave and weakly say: "Yeah, see you later."

They walk out and I breathe a sigh of relief. I am having some serious concerns about the possible health risk Bella living with me might bring. She clearly has a crazy, possessive boyfriend. Maybe I can convince him that I'm gay or have no penis.

I decide to walk over to Whole Foods to get some groceries. I am thinking over this Bella/Mr. Crazy situation. I really hope I have not just gotten the worst roommate ever. I hope she's not being abused or something. I think maybe about having Rose talk to her since that's kind of what Rose does. Maybe she would be comfortable talking to my sister about being in a relationship with some crazy possessive guy.

I am walking back to my house with my groceries when I realize that there is a woman sitting on my front porch. As I get closer I can see that she is small, with short black hair. I am about twenty feet away when she hops up and takes a few steps towards me and gives me the biggest smile. She's tiny, dressed in jeans and a colorful jacket and boots and she is the cutest thing I have ever seen.

"You kept me waiting." She waves her finger at me, scolding me, and continues to give me that enormous smile.

"I'm sorry, Miss." My southern upbringing comes out as I dip my head in apology.

"I'm a friend of Bella's. I wanted to bring a few things by for her and measure her windows, if that's Ok?" I open up the door for her and she glides into the apartment, looking around. I am fiercely concerned if she likes my place, strange, since I just met her a minute ago.

I set the groceries down and extend my hand to her.

"Jasper Hale. It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss?"

"Alice Cullen. I think you met my brother? Edward?" She takes my hand in both of her tiny ones. His sister? This delightful creature is related to that...thing?

"Yeah, we met." She laughs and shakes her head.

"I'm so sorry about my brother. He's a bit much sometimes. Do you mind helping me bring some things in?" She gives me another smile and I am willing to do pretty much anything to keep it going.

We walk out to a yellow Mini-Cooper with it's top down to accommodate a rolled-up rug sticking out of the side. I grab the rug and walk back into the house while Alice grabs a bag out of the passenger side. All the while she's talking and looking back at me with that delicious smile.

"I remembered Bella telling me that this place has hardwood floors, which I just think are beautiful, by the way, and I thought that she might like this rug. My mom bought it in China and it was in Edward's room but then I bought him this really nice grey one at Ikea that I think that he'll really like. Plus, if Edward's rug is in Bella's room it'll make him feel like he's here, you know what I mean? I mean, I love my brother but he's just a disaster at this whole relationship thing, he really just can't help being a total prick. So he needs all the help he can get with Bella because she's so much better than some of the other disastrous girlfriends he's had but he's not used to having to do any work on the relationship. Tanya chased him and put up with his garbage because he had money and just between you and me I don't think that they really talked much, you know what I mean? Oh, gross, I just said something about my brother's sex life, I'm so sorry!" She clasps her hand over her mouth and I chuckle at her.

"It's Ok. I'd rather think about that than him beating me up."

"He didn't threaten you, did he? He hasn't beaten anyone up in a long time, he just is having some trouble figuring out this whole 'relationship with a real girl' thing. I'm so sorry, what a jerk!"

"It's Ok." I smile at her. I have totally forgotten how upset I was. I'm willing to have Bella as a roommate if Alice will be around. Alice is taking things out of the bag and putting them in different places in Bella's room and she has me help her spread the rug out on the floor.

"This is the prettiest place. Bella just loves it. So do I, I just adore these old Victorian houses. You've done a nice job decorating, although you could use some art and maybe some flowers. You have a lot of books, have you read them all? Even if you didn't it makes the living room look cozy, lived-in, you know what I mean? Here, hold the end of the tape measure so I can get the measurements on these windows. You're lucky you're so tall! I would have to get a chair out of I had to do this by myself. Speaking of which, will you show me the dining room? I know you probably don't use it a lot but that's going to change and you may need some new curtains in there, too. Oh, I love your kitchen, Bella cooks a lot, she'll just love it."

I am being led around by this tiny creature while she chatters away at me and I am amazed that she even has time to breathe. After measuring all of the windows in the house, with the exception of my bedroom, she moves a few things around in the living room and then picks up a picture of Rose and I.

"This must be Rose. I'm going to meet her tomorrow. I'm so excited. Did Bella tell you we are interviewing her? You two are so good-looking!" She gasps and claps her hand over her mouth again. "I'm sorry, that just slipped out!"

I smile at her and shake my head. "It's OK, Alice. Do you want to…"

Her phone ringing cuts me off. She smiles at me apologetically and answers it. "Edward, what have you done?" There is a pause while she listens to him.

"Ok, you need to tell her the truth…Yes, you do. Have you eaten yet?...OK, insist on stopping to get some lunch. Take her to that crepe place Esme likes….Yeah, that one. Then you need to tell her the truth….She's _already_ mad at you. Try to be genuine and don't lose your temper. Oh, and one more thing. No matter how well you're getting along, drop off the bed here and leave. Don't stay too long….You're welcome. Bye, Edward." She smiles at me again. "Helpless," she says, shaking her head.

"Well, I've got to get going. It was lovely meeting you, Jasper. I'm sure I'll see you again soon." She gives me a little wave and she's out the door before I can do more than smile weakly and extend my hand to wave.

I stand there staring at my door for a moment wondering what just happened to me. This is becoming a strange, strange day. I take a brief walk around my apartment, appraising it, trying to see it through Alice's eyes. Then I sit down and try to think of excuses to get her back over here. Hopefully she and Bella are good friends.

Then I wonder about her politics. What if she's a Republican? What if she likes Sarah Palin? What if she tells racist jokes? What if... I'm going crazy over a girl I just met minutes ago. I have no life.

I decide that she can't possibly be like that. No woman that delightful could tell racist jokes.

I try to sit down and study some more. I am having a hard time concentrating because of Alice and the fact that I hate the law. I think again about how I really need to figure out what I want to do so that I can justify dropping out of law school without looking like a bum.

I get about forty-five minutes of studying/daydreaming in and then there's a knock at my door followed immediately by a bump/shuffle/cursing noise right outside. I go to the door and open it to see this huge, muscled, smiling guy holding a bookshelf on his back unsteadily. He's got dark curly hair and blue eyes and this enormous smile.

"Hey, I'm Emmett. I've got some bookshelves my sister Alice wanted to send over for Bella." I move out of the way because I'm worried that Emmett is going to drop something on me.

"How many of you are there? You're the third person from your family I've met today." Emmett laughs as he sets the bookshelf down in the living room.

"Jasper, right?" Emmett extends his huge hand to me for me to shake. "There's three of us. I guess you met Edward, huh? Let me guess, he was a dick and Alice talked your ear off." I laugh.

"Yeah, what do you have planned?" He holds his hands up innocently. "I'm just here to drop off furniture." He then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. Unfolding it he shows it to me. It's a fairly accurate floor plan of my house, with furniture.

"Alice doesn't even trust me to put a bookshelf in the right place." He grins at me and, referring to his map, takes the bookshelf into Bella's room.

"There's more in my Jeep." He walks back outside and I follow him. He's got another big bookcase, a night stand and a vase full of flowers in the front seat, buckled into place with the seat belt.

Emmett pulls out the flowers and hands them to me. "Hydrangeas," he reads off the back of his floor plan. "Alice says for you to put them on your coffee table."

I take the flowers with a smile. Emmett grabs the other bookshelf and we walk back into the house.

"Is she always like that?" I ask Emmett, pointing to the piece of paper he is referring to as he positions the second bookshelf.

"Alice thinks that the people she cares about will be happier if they and their surroundings look good. Is that shallow? Probably. But she's got good intentions."

I go out to get the night stand and bring it in for Emmett. He places it according to Alice's plan.

"It was nice to meet you, Jasper." Emmett extends his hand to me again and we shake. I'm sure I'll be seeing you again soon."

"Likewise, Emmett." I am relieved that at least this brother seems to like me, since I would like to see Alice again.

Emmett takes off down the walkway to his Jeep as my sister is making her way up to the house. He gives her a smile and says "hello," and she smiles back at him. As he drives off she stops next to me on the porch and we watch him drive away together.

"Who was that?" Rose asks me.

"That was Emmett, a friend of my new roommates."

"Oh. I figured it wasn't one of your friends." Rose smirks at me.

"Why is that?" I look at her curiously.

"He looks like he eats meat." Rose laughs, her eyes still focused on Emmett's Jeep as it disappears around the corner. Then she turns to me.

"You should introduce me," she says. I look at her in shock. Rose has never asked to be introduced to _any _man.

"Really, Rose?" I laugh.

"Yeah, really." She gives me a big smile. Maybe we both will end up happy after all.


	19. Chapter 19

**Bella:**

Edward goddamn Cullen! I swear to God I should have known better from the way he acted the night I met him. He was a total jerk then and, with the exception of brief flashes of random normality, he continued to be a freaking jerk. I have no idea why I thought I could continue to have anything to do with him, I should have gone with my first instinct and just told him no when he asked me to go to that party.

But I didn't and here I am stuck in my truck with him, driving to Tacoma, feeling angry and hurt. I have to stop to feed the beast at the gas station and I think about grabbing a granola bar or something because I haven't eaten but I don't even want to give him the opportunity to criticize my snack food choices. I finish paying and I notice that he is on the phone. I guess that's one more person that he doesn't mind talking to? I get into the cab of the truck and slam the door and he quickly says goodbye to whoever he's talking to and hangs up. I get back on the road and he speaks.

"Bella? I was hoping that I could buy you a late breakfast and we could talk." He's doing this polite thing again and I know enough to worry. He's only polite when he wants something.

"I would rather not." I refuse to look at him.

"Please, Bella?" I hear something new in his voice. He's pleading with me. Regret? I glance at him. He is looking at me anxiously.

"OK." I sigh. What can I say? I'm starving.

"Great, I want to take you to this great crepe place." He starts to give me directions. I freakin' love crepes. Bastard.

Edward directs me to a little restaurant a few miles from the freeway and I order my favorite; Nutella with banana and strawberries. After we order I look at him expectantly.

"I'm sorry I upset you by talking to James." He blurts this out and looks at the table.

"Well? Are you going to tell me what happened in there?"

He looks embarrassed and continues to examine his own hands. "James thought I was your boyfriend and he made a comment about how I was nothing like your last boyfriend and I…sort of asked him for more information."

I look at him for a moment, furious. How dare he? I hate talking about Jake and I hate the idea of_ them_ talking about Jake even more!

"Why?" I finally manage to ask, sputtering with anger. Tears were prickling my eyes, and I am starting to get really angry.

"I was…curious." He is still looking at his hands on the table. I am pissed off and I am even more pissed off to realize that I am staring at his hands, too. They are beautiful. They are elegant, with long fingers and I am sure he gets manicures. They are saved from being too girly by slight scarring on his knuckles, like a boxer. I am totally drooling over this asshole's sexy, pale hands while wanting to punch him in the throat.

"You had a little sewing circle gossip session with that stoned loser about my ex out of curiosity?" He looks at me briefly and seeing the look in my eyes he glances back down again immediately.

"Yes. I'm sorry. It was a gross violation of your privacy and I shouldn't have. If I had known how upset you would have gotten I never would have done it." He takes a deep breath and this time he looks at me. "I wanted to know how I…compared to Jake." He has a look in his eyes of such vulnerability that it takes my breath away and I can't be angry anymore.

"I wish you'd have just asked me." I say.

"You seemed reluctant to talk about it with me before." He has a good point there. But then I think of another thing to be pissed at him about.

"What made me angriest, Edward, is that you barely speak to me most of the time and you were all cuddly on the couch with James. It hurt my feelings." He looks shocked when I say this last part. Shocked and really uncomfortable. I guess because I just used the "F" word. I never use the "F" word. Edward is really changing me.

"I am not very good at this." He gestures between the two of us. "You might have noticed." He looks annoyed.

"Yeah, clearly. I'll make you a deal. I'll tell you a little about Jacob and you can tell me about Tanya." I have no idea why I'm willing to play "Silence of the Lambs" with him but it beats sitting here glaring at each other.

He nods hesitantly.

"Jacob and I started dating in our junior year of high school, when I lived in Phoenix. We went to Arizona State together, he was on a football scholarship. After two years of being a hotshot football star he realized that he could do better than his mousy little high school sweetheart. Better in quality _and_ quantity. So he broke up with me." Edward looks uncomfortable.

"Your turn." I say to him. He looks startled.

"Tanya, um…she was…I was too boring and…she really wanted to do stuff like…" Edward buries his hands in his hair and rubs his scalp. He is clearly uncomfortable. I am kind of enjoying it. I am tempted to put him out of his misery but I'm curious and somewhat vindictive. Hey, it's payback.

"Tanya and I had nothing in common. She pursued me because she thought I would be so grateful to have someone as…pretty as her to spend money on. We didn't like the same things."

Just then our crepes show up. "OK," I say. "We're off the hook for serious conversation now. Nutella time!" Edward gives me a small smile and we start to eat our crepes.

"So tell me about this t-shirt, Edward. You a big Nine Inch Nails fan?" He smirks and looks down at his shirt.

"Trent Reznor was trained as a classical pianist." He smiles, his eyes lighting up with joy. It is cute to see.

"Yeah, but I am having a hard time imagining you at one of those shows. Do you wear a dog collar and black lipstick?" He laughs.

"Generally not, but Alice does dress me in lots of black." Oh God, I forgot that his sister dresses him. "How goes the job search?" He asks. I think he wants to change the subject from how he can't dress himself. Cue awkward moment.

"It's kind of on hold during the move. I just don't want to commute up to Mountlake Terrace a whole lot longer."

"Well, when Ben and I get funded we're going to need some part time help. Clerical stuff, errands, stuff like that. It would be pretty flexible so you could work around your school schedule."

"I don't know if it's such a good idea for me to work for you, Edward. I mean, half an hour ago we weren't even speaking to each other and last night we were snuggling in front of the Dante expert. It seems pretty tumultuous." As soon as this leaves my mouth I wish the crepe griddle would burst into flames and immolate me. I don't know why I have to be the most verbally impulsive woman ever in front of this gorgeous freak.

He laughs nervously. "That might be why it would be such a great working relationship. I mean, we'd have to do some sexual harassment training first."

We laugh and right then I realize I have a big, inconvenient, sweaty crush on Edward fucking Cullen. Just great.

**a/n: Major life fail alert! Not only did my computer fall on it's sword taking the next three chapters with it but I am in Seattle at a crazy family 3-ring circus event of insanity so I can't do anything about it! It will probably be a week until I can update again but I have not abandoned you. Trust me, I would rather be updating than doing the crazy dance with my sisters!**

**Anything awesome comes from my beta, EverlastingMuse.**


	20. Chapter 20

**a/n: EverlastingMuse is the bestest, most patient beta in the world! She continues to put up with my poor writing and technical disfunction!**

**Edward:**

So the confessions over crepes goes OK; she seems to have forgiven me. Really quickly. I am amazed at her generosity of spirit, when people make me angry I usually find a way to hang on to the resentment for a long time but she seems to get over stuff. I am struck by how like Esme she is, how compassionate and forgiving. She's so much better than me. I feel very humbled by her.

After making her a completely serious and apparently unwelcome job offer and then trotting out my awkward flirting skills again Bella and I manage to make conversation through lunch. When she gets up to use the bathroom I send Alice a text message thanking her for her advice.

After lunch we drive down to Tacoma playing "name that tune" with an oldies station on the radio. I think I manage to look impressive without being too geeky but I am forced to pretend not to know the bands for a few songs. I mean, she is not going to be impressed by my knowledge of Supertramp or Michael McDonald.

We find the address where we are picking up the bed. It looks like a pretty nice house but the scene is chaotic. There are big boxes, the type that you get appliances in, all over the side of the driveway. The garage door is open and it is filled with boxes and old-looking furniture. There is a big man who looks to be in his forties moving a box into the garage.

We park and get out. Bella waves to the man. "Dan? I'm Bella. We spoke on the phone about the bed?" He gives her a smile and sets down the box he's carrying in the garage.

"Nice to meet you, Bella." Dan extends his hand to me and I introduce myself.

"Come on over to the garage, I'll show you the bed." Dan leads us to the garage filled with boxes and old furniture.

"You have a lot of antiques, Dan." Bella observes. Dan winces.

"Yeah, my ex-wife was really into antiques. She left me for this antique dealer up in Seattle. I'm kind of redecorating." Dan gestures around him to the boxes on the driveway. I realize that they are all high-tech appliances; a flat-screen television, an Ipod dock, a Blu-Ray player.

"Going high-tech, huh?" I laugh.

Dan gives me a smile and laughs. "Yeah, I figured I lived with old stuff long enough." We reach the corner of the garage where there is a disassembled iron bed.

"Oh, this is perfect! Dan, this is worth more than fifty dollars!" Bella looks distressed as she turns to him. He waves a hand dismissively. I guess he could afford it.

"I'll tell you what. You take some of this other dusty shit off my hands and it'll be worth it." He gestures to the boxes of books around us.

"I don't want to take advantage of your misfortune." Bella says; she's being sweet but she's really not getting it. This guy wants this stuff out of here.

"Bella, honey, I think you would be helping Dan out." I say and he looks at me with gratitude. "Come on Dan, I'll help you load the bed up. Bella go through these books." Dan and I start loading up the bed and when we're done Bella has a big pile of books that she's pulled out.

"I've got some stuff that goes with the bed. It won't fit my new bed so you should take it." Dan pulls out two old quilts from a pile in the corner.

"These are so beautiful! You can't give me these, Dan. You have to let me pay you." I nudge Bella and she looks at me. I shake my head at her again.

"Really, you should take the blankets and the books so I can park my new Mustang in the garage," Dan says with a grin.

I grab the books and quilts from Dan while Bella gives him the money and we are ready to get back on the road. We say goodbye and Dan gives me a big smile with his handshake.

I remember what Alice said about dropping Bella off and going home and I wonder what she's getting at. Personally I think that helping her get her new place set up would be a great way to prolong the amount of time I get to spend with her. I have to trust Alice's intuition on this but it goes against my every impulse. My thoughts go to the bed we picked up and think about how much I would like it if she let me buy her a new mattress. Other people's mattresses are gross, right?

Just then get a text from Alice:

**I'm going to take Bella out to buy a mattress. Drop her off and go home!**

I shake my head at Alice's uncanny ability to predict what I'm going to do.

"What?" Bella asks, looking at me.

"Alice," I say. "She says she's going to take you out to buy you a new mattress."

Bella shakes her head. "I can't let her do that."

"Really, Bella, you should let her. She gets some kind of discount because she and Esme have a side business doing home décor for people, plus Alice really likes you." Bella looks unconvinced.

"Alice doesn't have a lot of friends outside the family. She can be really…intense. Plus she has plenty of money, she got a big trust from our grandparents, bigger than Emmett and I." Bella still looks uncertain.

"We'll see. I can repay you guys eventually. I just have a hard time accepting gifts."

"Well. I don't think that we would be so eager to give you things if you weren't. When you have money it's hard to tell if people like you for your money or yourself." I have to admit I am fishing here for her to tell me she likes me.

"I really like Alice. She's been really nice to me." Bella says. That's it. No "I really like you, Edward, even though you are rude and weird." No "Let me pull over so you can kiss me senseless."

We get back to Bella's place and Jasper meets us at the door. He seems really happy to see Bella so I give him a death glare and he takes a step back. I don't think Bella notices.

"Hey, Edward, I met some of your family this afternoon." He says to me with a cautious smile. We walk in and I notice that things look a little different in the living room. For one thing there's a vase of hydrangeas on the coffee table and things have been shifted about slightly, a chair moved here, a lamp placed on a lower surface. It looks…better.

"Alice, huh?" I gesture around the living room and he nods and laughs.

"Yeah, she sure is something." Jasper smiles. "There's more." He leads us into Bella's new room which has several bookshelves and a nightstand and _my rug._

"Wow, this looks great." Bella says. "Alice brought these by?" Jasper nods.

"Yeah, she and Emmett." I think about saying something about the rug being mine but I'm afraid Bella will make me take it back and I kind of like the idea of my rug in her room.

We unload the bed and other things from Dan's. Jasper and I set up the bed in Bella's room. The place is really starting to look good and I remind myself to thank Alice for all her help. I wouldn't have liked to think of Bella being in a big empty room with a bunch of boxes. Now she has a place to put her books and things.

"Well, I should get going," I say, not looking at Bella's face because I don't want to see whether it shows relief or disappointment.

"Let me give you a ride home, Edward," Bella says. I am resistant to this, I am afraid of not following Alice's instructions to the letter for fear of jinxing the decent mood between Bella and I.

"Oh, I'm going to walk over to the University to get some work done. I'll see you soon?" I am making my way to the door. "Nice to meet you, Jasper." I say over Bella's head and make my way to the door.

"OK, yeah, I'll see you soon, Edward." She is a little hesitant and…disappointed? I shake my head. She couldn't be disappointed to see me leave. Could she?


	21. Chapter 21

**Bella:**

My head is spinning with the realization that I just spent an almost three conflict-free hours with Edward. Not to mention the embarrassment of riches that is my room. Between Alice and Edward, with Emmett's transport abilities thrown in, my room is almost completely furnished and it looks just like I would have wanted it. I'm not really used to attracting this much positive attention from people or being pampered like this and it's unnerving. What's going to happen when they figure out how mediocre and ordinary I am? It makes me sad and nervous to think about. I feel like I have a ton of butterflies in my stomach.

I don't have a lot of time to reflect on any of this because Jasper is lurking around not saying much but I can tell he wants something.

"Do you want me to make something for dinner?" I ask him. I really like to cook and I haven't had a chance to do much cooking in a while. Jasper's face lights up, and he grins.

"I got some groceries earlier. You don't have to cook if you're too tired, though."

It was a long day but I am looking forward to doing something domestic in my new place so I wave Jasper off and make some pasta and salad for us.

Over dinner we make small talk until Jasper finally spits out what he's been hesitating about. "Bella, I'm wondering how well you know Alice?" He looks at the table to try to hide his expression. I laugh.

"I guess you kind of liked her, huh?" I say. His cheeks grow pink, and he nods, chuckling. "I thought she was beautiful and intriguing and captivating..." he says, his face lighting up.

"Well, we haven't been friends for very long but I really like her and I know she doesn't have a boyfriend. Maybe I can help you out a little there," I tell him.

"I'd like that. Thanks." His expression changes and he looks more serious. "Bella, can I ask about you and Edward?"

"Sure, Jasper," I say, confused.

"Have you two been together long?" He looks concerned. I laugh.

"Oh, Jasper, it's not really like that. Edward and I aren't 'together', really." I use air quotes. Jasper looks skeptical.

"Really? Because he gave me a little talk about keeping my hands to myself with you and it was a little scary." I examine his face to see if he's serious.

"He threatened you?" I can't believe this! I hope Jasper isn't upset enough by this to want me to move out. I really like my new place.

"Sort of. It was pretty non-verbal but he made it clear what he was going to do if something happened between us." I'm really torn between being angry with Edward about this and thinking that it's ultra hot that he's jealous. I feel guilty about enjoying my new roommate's discomfort. But it is hot. Very hot.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. Edward is a little hot-headed. But really, we just go to work stuff together. He's probably just concerned about me ending our arrangement." Which I remember I had decided to do last night. Before my crepe restaurant revelation. "Anyhow, you like Alice. It's a moot point."

I am pretty tired after having the most mixed up day ever start at eight in the morning and I have to work the next day so I got to bed pretty soon after dinner. I go to sleep thinking about Edward. Shirtless. Threatening my roommate.

I get a message from Alice the next day saying that we are going to go mattress shopping after our meeting with Rose at the shelter. I think about resisting but I remember what Edward said about Alice not having a lot of friends and I also figure it's a good chance to talk up my roommate to her.

Work on Sunday is the same old boring routine, I remind myself that I really have to step up my job search efforts so I don't get stuck in drug store hell forever.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if my boss wasn't such an emotional basket case. Dave is totally type-A and anal about stuff and freaks out if things aren't perfect. I'm probably his smartest employee so he expects me to read his mind about stuff he wants me to do and takes it totally personally if everything isn't exactly the way he wants it. The only consolation is that he isn't scheduled to be here on the weekends (not that the schedule stops him when he feels like doing a sneak attack) and that he is a chain smoker so we all get a break every hour while he kills himself.

He left me a big note with all the stuff he wants me do but it's a slow day and I get most of it done pretty early. About an hour before I'm off I'm near the pharmacy counter stocking stuff when I see this middle-aged, mildly geeky guy standing looking at the counter where the pharmacist is talking to someone. He's short and slightly stocky with brown hair and eyes and he's dressed in corduroy and wool. He's standing about ten feet away with a piece of paper in his hand obviously thinking about getting in line but looking very uncomfortable and almost nauseous.

"Can I help you with something, sir?" I decide to put him out of his misery by trying to help because our pharmacist can talk about suppositories and stuff for hours. He looks startled and then somewhat relieved as he extends the piece of paper to me. I look at it and it's a printout from the internet from with different menstrual cycle questions on it.

I look back at him with a smile. "Sir, I don't understand. Are you _menstruating_?" He looks surprised and then laughs.

"No, but my niece is and my sister is out of town and I…I'm clueless and really embarrassed and I don't know who to ask for help." It all kind of comes out in a rush and he looks embarrassed and lost.

"OK, you don't have to talk to the pharmacist. I can get you some stuff." I walk over to the aisle with the feminine products and grab a few things. "Give her this stuff, it should be pretty self-explanatory. Tell her to take some Midol or ibuprofen if she has cramps, or if you have a heating pad that might help." I am feeling really bad for this girl having to get the period talk from her geeky uncle and I'm concerned about him using the internet to educate himself. "Do you have a female friend or someone who she can talk to?"

He blushes and looks down. "No," then he looks up to me hopefully. "Can you do it? I would pay you and I swear I'm not creepy."

"Sir, I don't know…" Although better me than Google, I guess.

"Come here, I'll show you something." He drags me over to our paperback fiction section and looking for a moment picked up a book and handed it to me. It was from a book series I had heard of about werewolves. The author's name was Quil Ateara.

I looked at him. "Are you telling me you're a werewolf?" He laughs again. "No, this is me," he points to the author's name. "Although, that's not my real name. My name is Seth Clearwater." He extends his hand with a hopeful smile. I shake his hand.

"I don't know, Mr. Clearwater." He is not setting off my creep alarm but it seems weird. I do feel bad for this guy, though. And his poor niece.

"Call me Seth. I told you my secret to show you that you can trust me. My sister is in Seattle with her husband who just had a heart attack and my poor niece started her…uh, cycle and I am the last person she wants to talk to about this." He's wringing his hands as he talks and I can't help but say yes.

"Ok, I'm off in an hour and I'll come over." He thanks me profusely and gives me the address for his sister's place which is right around the corner from here.

When I arrive at the house I am met by a small, dark haired girl who can't be older than eight. She gives me a look of relief and pulls me into the house.

"Thank God you're here, Uncle Seth has been freaking out all day and Rachel won't even talk to him anymore because he's such a spazz!" The girl pulls me down a hallway to a closed door which she throws open to reveal a girl's bedroom, complete with pink comforter, stuffed animals and an uncomfortable looking teenage girl.

"This is Rachel and I'm Claire," the younger girl says and Rachel gives me a small smile. I sit down on the bed with her and give her a smile.

"Hi, I'm Bella. I guess it's hard having your Mom not around for this, huh?" Rachel nods at me. "Well, let me see if I can explain what's happening."

I do my best to answer Rachel's questions and then Claire and Rachel and I decide to have some ice cream. We eat our ice cream and talk for a while with Seth hovering anxiously on the edge of the room. I give Rachel my phone number in case she needs to talk and get ready to go. I am stopped by Seth who is lurking in the doorway to catch me.

"Bella, I'm wondering if you would be willing to work for me?" I laugh.

"Seth, how many nieces do you have?" He laughs and shakes his head.

"I need a personal assistant. My sister has been doing it but she is going to be busy with her husband for a while. I will pay you twice what you make at Bartell's. All you have to do is errands, grocery shopping, human interactions; that kind of stuff. I just would rather stay at home and write than deal with this stuff."

"Seth, that's a great offer but I go to school and I live in Seattle. I can't do a full time job up here."

"I live in Seattle, too. And it's not really a full time job. You could work 20 hours a week whenever you had time and make twice as much as you're making now."

I have to admit that I am tempted. I really don't want to work at Bartell's anymore. And Seth seems really nice and he seems like he would be easy to work for. It occurs to me that I have received two job offers in two days but this seems like the less...nerve-wracking of the two.

"Ok, Seth, but I have to give notice and you can't pay me for this. I didn't mind helping Rachel out."

Seth and I exchange phone numbers and I am able to get back to Bartell's just in time to leave a letter for Dave that I'm giving my notice. I am not looking forward to dealing with the industrial-strength guilt trip I'm going to get when I go back to work on Tuesday.

When I get back to the apartment Jasper is on the phone gesturing frantically, his voice exasperated.

"Sarah, are you sure you can't help this one time? No, I don't have anyone to ask, I've already tried everyone else…There's no money in the treasury to hire a professional…Yeah, fine. I'll see you then."

He gets off the phone and sighs. Then he sees me. "Hey, Bella. How was work?"

"Good. I got a new job." I tell him about meeting Seth. Then I ask: "Is everything OK? You looked upset when I came in."

Jasper runs his hand through his hair. "Yeah, I just need to find a baby sitter for Thursday night. The Peace and Justice Center has this big-shot labor organizer coming up from Berkeley and the woman who said she'd take care of childcare decided that she was 'participating in her own oppression' by doing a stereotypical female role like watching kids." Jasper gives me a smile and rolls his eyes.

"I can do it." I say.

"Bella, you don't have to do that." Jasper says but I can see the relief in his eyes.

"Not a problem, Jasper. I'm great with kids." I am, too. I worked in a day care when I lived in Arizona and I loved it. Kids are so uncomplicated. Unlike my life. It'll be great. I hope...


	22. Chapter 22

**a/n: I forgot to thank EverlastingMuse for being the best and brightest beta in the world last time. Thank you x 2!**

**Edward:**

I felt good as I walked to the University from Bella's new place. I finally had this whole nebulous, confusing Bella situation under control. Between Alice's excellent advice and my careful management of my mood swings I think we had Bella where we wanted her. That sounded wrong. Really wrong.

I felt like I could figure out how to pursue Bella and just pretend we had been on normal footing all along, as if I had never asked her to be my fake girlfriend in the first place. I had gotten overwhelmed by the fact that I had never actually pursued any of my previous girlfriends but I could figure it out. I mean, stupid guys get girlfriends, right? I was definitely bright, had money and had been told I was good-looking, and not just by my Mom. So I should have this nailed. That sounded wrong, too.

I really liked her. She was smart and funny. She was kind and forgiving and beautiful. She fit in great with my family and they seemed to really like her. Heck, she could handle Alice! That was a major testament to her tolerance.

I wondered whether I should talk to her about the issues that I had when I was younger. About my adoption and stuff. On one hand maybe she would understand why I could be a jerk sometimes. In the other hand I felt like I had that part of my personality under pretty good control and I didn't want her to be with me because she felt sorry for me. Plus I'm…happy with the way things are going and I don't have problems with my temper when I'm happy. So it shouldn't be an issue.

I called Emmett and asked him to come pick me up at the University. He was happy to do it because it got him out of hanging out with Kate. My brother's pretty predictable when it came to relationships; she would be an "ex" within days. It had never failed to amaze me that my parents, who had this amazing, loving relationship, had these three romantic misfits. Emmett was a serial monogamist, Alice couldn't seem to find anyone she wanted to go on more than one date with and then there's me. Well, I won't go into that now.

I had quite a bit of work to do, which I had been neglecting the last few days. I spent most of Sunday holed up in my room working on my doctoral project. I did take the time to buy a set of tickets to a Mariner's game. The season was almost over and I really wanted to take Bella to a game. She would have to explain baseball to me but if it was something she enjoyed I wanted to share that with her.

By Monday morning I was in such a good mood Emmett was looking at me funny.

"Dude, when you spend the whole day in your room and then come out Monday morning whistling it makes me nervous. Like you were either spanking the monkey or plotting to take over the world." Emmett shoves a waffle in his mouth. You heard me right, an entire waffle. He eats like an animal.

"You'd rather I be morose and depressed?" I grab a cup of coffee and sit down.

"Well, you were home too early Friday and Saturday to have gotten any action."

"How is Kate, by the way? Are you going to break up with her today or tomorrow?" Emmett grins at me.

"There's this girl who works with her who slipped me her phone number."

"You are a dog, Emmett." Alice breezes in, slapping the back of Emmett's head lightly.

"Well, I don't see anyone else here getting any action." Emmett gets up and dumps his dishes into the sink.

"I'm OK with not getting the kind of action that you have to follow up with antibiotics." Alice pulls some yogurt out of the fridge. She sits down at the table and looks at what I'm wearing. Swallowing her mouthful of yogurt she says: "You should wear that bow-tie I got you in Paris."

"Are you trying to make sure he never gets any action?" Emmett is grabbing his keys and getting ready to walk out the door.

"Emmett, the more you talk the lower everyone's IQs get." I get up. You better bet I'm getting the bow tie. Alice has never steered me wrong when it comes to clothes.

"Oh, wait. I see what you're doing, midget! It's like a 'Don't Stand So Close To Me' thing, huh?" Emmett starts humming the Police song. "College chicks dig nerdy professor types, huh?"

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, but that only works with English professors. Computer Science girls all have crushes on Japanese art students." I go upstairs to get my bow tie anyway and Alice gives me a big smile as I come back down.

"Driving with me today?" I am dying to discuss Bella with Alice. She gives me a shake of the head.

"No, I got a bunch of stuff to do after class today." Her smile is a little mischievous but I know it's useless to pry so I give her a wave and drive to school.

Monday's class is my least favorite. It's an introduction to IT course that a lot of undergrads take for general education credit. So it's full of perky communications majors and jocks who assume it's an easy A. Just because you can post stuff on Myspace and kick ass at Rollercoaster Tycoon doesn't mean you have a natural affinity for computers.

Plus it turns out that Emmett's little Lolita scenario was prophetic because one of the undergrads is making eyes at me all through class. Ugh, not even remotely tempting even if I did want to screw my career up by dating a student. There's something about those sorority girls with stuff written across their chest and posteriors that I find outright disgusting.

I can't even remember this one's name but when I didn't respond to her subtle message she chose to approach me after class to ask me about a concept that had been covered _ad nauseum_ both in the text and the lecture. As if denseness is alluring. She pretends to still not get it, or maybe she is really that dumb.

"Look, Ms…uh," I don't even feel a little bit guilty not remembering names in this class, they all look alike.

"Jessica Stanley, Professor Cullen." She licks her lips at me. Who wears that much make-up with sweatpants?

"Ms. Stanley, I would recommend that you pay a visit to the computer lab. Any of the graduate students there would be happy to help you with the concept." Jesus, Emmett could explain this!

"You have office hours, right?" She edges a little closer to me and puts a hand lightly on my arm.

"Yes, but really I think…" She cuts me off.

"I'll come by during your office hours. 11:30 to 1, right?" She has my office hours memorized? Creepy. She gives me another look intended to be seductive and sashays out of the classroom. I think about taking off the bow tie but I'm afraid that any sign of me undressing might give her the wrong idea.

I make my way over to my office. Having this intro class on Mondays has a way of ruining the rest of my week. I'm going to have to try to rearrange my schedule next semester. If I get hired.

I get to my office and have my usual feeling of annoyance when I see it occupied my office mate, Mike Newton. I wonder for the twentieth time why he has to be here at the same time as me.

"Mike," I say in greeting, placing my Italian leather briefcase on my desk, pushing his backpack out of the way of my chair with my foot. I think briefly about putting masking tape down on the floor to mark my space off from his and then decide that that would be petty.

"What's up, Edward? Nice bow tie. You figure you already got a girlfriend so you're going to let your freak flag fly, huh?" Mike tries to give me a manly punch in the arm but I manage to slip just out of swinging range and he withdraws his arm awkwardly.

Then I get an idea.

"Hey, Mike, you don't have class this afternoon, do you?"

"Nope. I've got lab at 2pm but I'm just kickin' it here until then."

"Great. Do you mind hanging out during my office hours? I have this female student who's coming by and I'd rather not have to deal with her alone."

"Yeah, that's cool but why don't you just get Bella to come by? I saw her on campus this morning. Having your girlfriend here would send a pretty clear message." I'm torn between being annoyed with Mike for even talking about Bella and being pleased that he's given me an excuse to see her. I just wish it had been my idea.

"That's a good idea." I try not to say between clenched teeth. "I'm gonna go get some lunch, can I get you anything?"

"Yeah, get me some pizza and a Coke, OK?" Mike hands me some rumpled money, which I wave away. Paying for his lunch will hopefully make us even.

I think about sending Bella a text message but I have been told that my text messages are overly formal and weird so I call her instead. She must be in class because her phone is off so I leave a message.

"Hello, Bella. This is Edward. I was hoping you would agree to join me for lunch in my office. I will pick up some food and you can just come by whenever you're available. My office is number 2321 in the Engineering building. Talk to you soon."

I have a hard time deciding what to get Bella for lunch. I get a turkey sandwich and then decide to get a salami sandwich because it's kind of the opposite of turkey. I get a banana, an orange and an apple. I get to the beverages and decide on a water, a juice, a diet Coke and a regular Coke, in addition to Mike's Coke. I get a bag of chips and at the last minute I see a piece of chocolate cake, neatly wrapped on a plate and throw that on top of my enormous pile. There has got to be something here that she will like.

I get back to the office and Ms. Stanley is already there but Mike has begun helping her with the concept she was struggling with. I give Mike his food and bury myself in checking my email before she can make eye contact with me. I totally owe Mike for this. It's kind of a gross thought. I shudder internally.

Ms. Stanley, "Jessica" she encourages Mike to call her, sticks around long after the tutoring session making small talk and trying to get my attention.

"Is Bella coming by?" Mike asks me after a while. As I look up I see her in the doorway. She looks nice, she's dressed a little more formally than when I saw her on Saturday, with a nice blouse and flats instead of sneakers. She is also out of breath and has an apologetic smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, I know it's really late. I had a study group." She looks at her watch. "I only have about ten minutes before I have to go to my next class."

"I'm glad you could make it." I have gotten up and I take her book bag and find a chair for her. I gesture to the food on my desk. "Help yourself."

I put my hand on her shoulder as I turn to face Mike and Jessica.

"Ms. Stanley, this is my girlfriend, Bella." Jessica shoots Bella a look as Bella gives her a smile and looks back down to her sandwich.

"Jessica. Nice to meet you, Bella. I think we have Sociology together. At 2?"

Bella looks at her for a moment and then smiles again shyly. "Yeah, I thought I recognized you. Nice to meet you formally, Jessica." Bella gives me a look I can't decipher and then she goes back to the half sandwich in her hand.

"Well, I should get going." Jessica gets up. "Thanks for your help, Mike. See you in class, Bella. Next week, Mr. Cullen." She hasn't given up on the "seductive" smiles and she flutters her eyes at me as she leaves.

Mike lets out a laugh when she's a ways down the hallway.

"Thank you, Mike." I look at him in genuine gratitude.

"No problem, Cullen. Pretty shameless, huh?" Mike looks at Bella. "Do you ever get jealous of all the coeds chasing after Mr. Personality here?" Bella looks a little uncomfortable.

"Mike, you know it's not like that." I glare at him. I don't want Bella feeling insecure about this kind of stuff.

"Bella, without you and I here, she would have totally jumped him. At least, that's what he was afraid of." Mike is laughing and Bella gets up and starts to gather her stuff up.

"Thank you so much for lunch, Edward. I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer. See you later, Mike." She walks out of my office quickly. I can't think of a way to delay her and now I'm wishing Ms. Stanley had taken Mike with him so we could be alone. I turn to Mike. He is kicking back with his feet on his desk, smiling at me.

"She's nice, Edward. You're a lucky guy." I can't think of anything to say to him. I'm simultaneously annoyed and thankful to him. I am fumbling with Bella's piece of chocolate cake that she didn't eat when Dr. Cope comes in.

"Edward, Michael, I'm glad you are both here. Wednesday is Dr. Aitken's birthday and I'm having a little get-together at my house for him. I hope you two can make it." She smiles at me. "I hope you can bring Bella, Edward. It would be nice to see her again."

"Of course, Dr. Cope." I smile. "You just missed her, actually. She came by for lunch."

"I'm sorry I missed her. Well, I hope to see her on Wednesday." Dr. Cope leaves and Mike gets ready to take off for lab. Before he leaves I thank him for his help.

"Anytime, Cullen. Anytime," he says with a wink. Then he's gone.

**a/n: I don't know if anyone who isn't me is old enough to remember "WKRP in Cincinnati". Bonus points for anyone who can name the character I pay homage to here. **

**I know, I'm a dork.**

**I finally saw "Eclipse" this week. Jasper's hair bugs me in like every scene. I took one of my students to see it and I kept bugging him with my snorting every time Jasper showed up. It's a pity because I love that he finally got some screen time.**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: EverlastingMuse has the fastest red pen in the West and she spices up my writing when I get mired in the details.**

**Bella:**

So I've decided that Edward cannot do anything sweet without following it up with something douchy. It's becoming kind of a theme here.

Today, it's inviting me for lunch, having this crazy variety of foods for me to choose from when I get there and being fuck-hot in a _bow tie_ of all things. He's like 3 for 3 and then it becomes clear to me that he didn't invite me here because he wanted me to have lunch with him. He invited me because that skankasaurus Jessica is making the moves on him and he needs me _and_ Mike fucking Newton to protect him. Dammit.

I am looking forward to seeing Alice in Sociology so I can ask her what dark fucking gods her brother worships. Also so I can get her to glare at Jessica with me.

Unfortunately I don't make it to class before the teacher starts talking so all I have time to do is give Jessica a little wave and slide into the seat next to Alice.

At the break I pull her into the hallway where we start talking at the same time.

"Alice, what's up with your br…"

"Bella, you have to fix me up with…'

We both laugh but we are interrupted by Skankasaurus Rex coming out of the class.

"Hi again, Bella," she says with a meaningful smile as she just stands there in front of us waiting to be introduced.

"Jessica, this is Alice. Alice, Jessica." I turn so Alice can hopefully see my look of annoyance. "Jessica is one of your brother's students."

"Oh, so nice to meet you, Jessica." Alice takes my arm and pulls me away from Jessica, who has a surprised look on her face.

"I have no time for that, Bella. Your roommate. Spill." Alice folds her arms and stares at me.

I laugh. "Jasper really liked you too, Alice." She claps her hands together like a toddler and squeals. I am distracted by her enthusiasm and we don't get a chance to debrief my lunchtime mindfuck.

We go back in for the second half of class and try to avoid Jessica's eyes. After class we have an appointment to meet Rose at the shelter she runs. We drive to a surprisingly nice neighborhood and find the address, which belongs to a normal-looking multiple story house. We knock on the door and hear a distant "Come in."

We walk into the house, which looks nothing like what I would have pictured if I tried to imagine a shelter. It was pretty nicely decorated, very comfortable with lots of toys and books on the shelves. A tall, blonde woman stepped out into the hallway with yellow rubber gloves on and a wrench in her hand. She was wearing jeans and a flannel shirt and had her hair in a ponytail. I could see the resemblance to Jasper but on her the features that made him merely handsome made her stunningly beautiful. Her beauty was incongruous with her yellow rubber gloves and casual clothes.

"Hey, you must be Bella and Alice? I'm Rose, Jasper's sister." Rose gave us a little wave since she couldn't shake our hands.

I nodded. "Bella," I said, pointing to myself. "And Alice," I pointed to my friend. Rose nodded to me and then looked at Alice.

"I saw your brother on Saturday. At Bella's new place."

"Dark hair and muscles or red hair and attitude?" Alice smiled as she looked at Rose curiously. Rose laughed.

"Dark hair and muscles. Is he available?"

"Probably, but you're too smart for him." Rose looked at Alice curiously and shook her head. "Well, let me show you around." She stripped off the gloves and began to take us through the house, answering questions as she went.

The shelter had been started some 15 years previously but had not been terribly active until Rose had come along. She had begun to do more effective outreach and advertising and now the shelter was at capacity every night. Women generally were referred by social workers, police officers, church officials and anyone else who encountered battered women in need of help. Women had to meet certain requirements, like agreeing to drug tests and they couldn't have male visitors. They arranged to stay for a set period of time while they got their lives together so their spot was held for them each night instead of losing it if they were late.

Rose and about a dozen volunteers arranged for childcare and transport as many of the women were utilizing other services like employment training, drug treatment and legal assistance. Rose was the only paid employee and she worked 7 days a week, often 12 to 14 hour days. She was clearly passionate about what she did, and I admired her for it.

"What I'd really like to do is to get better funding so that we could provide some of these services in-house, like job training, parenting classes and therapy. It takes a lot of time and coordination to get these women to all the services they need to get back on their feet and they would feel safer if they didn't have to stray so far from home to get it. I mean, this is just a temporary home while they work stuff out, but it's home for up to 12 women and their children at any given time and we try to make them feel comfortable and safe."

"What would help you get funding?" Alice asked.

"We get a certain amount of government grant money but private contributions is really the way to go. I guess, better visibility for what we're doing would help. Maybe someone with experience planning benefits and access to potential contributors in Seattle. My parents are fairly wealthy but they don't have a lot of connections in this area. I would love to raise the money to hire a therapist, a couple of childcare workers and maybe a drug counselor."

"Plus, physically the place is decent but that's only because Jasper and I spend our own time and money keeping it in appliances and minor repairs but it could hold more families if we found the money to do some remodeling."

Alice and I explained to Rose that as part of our project we would want to spend some time volunteering for her and that we would be doing some research and brainstorming on solutions for her.

"Well, thank God for your Sociology class, then!" Rose laughed with us. "You guys let me know when you want to come in and I'll put you to work!"

We worked out a time to go in on the following Saturday and thanked Rose for making the time for us. It was getting late when Alice and I emerged from the house and I had had a long day.

"Alice, can I take a rain check on mattress shopping? That took longer than I thought and I am tired." Alice looked at me sympathetically.

"Of course, but the next time I see you you're going to have to tell me what happened on Saturday with Edward. And fix me up with that roommate of yours!" Alice giggled at me.

She dropped me off and I made my way into my new apartment. I was so thrilled with being here and how great my room looked. I fixed myself something to eat and had just sat down at the table when my phone rang. _Edward Cullen._

I took a deep breath and answered the phone, wondering which Edward I would be talking to this time…the douche or the fuck-hot one? I'm hoping it's not the douche...

**A/N: Les Nesman was the weatherman on "WKRP in Cincinnati " and he drew a chalk line around his desk to mark his space off from the rest of the people in the office. I'm a dork, I admit it.**

**I have never done recommendations before but I have a burning need to share my two newest obsessions!**

**Glitch by quothme and Osa Bella by Myg. Both AU and both utterly compelling. **

**Just don't read them right after mine because I will look like major weak sauce after these two talented writers!**


	24. Chapter 24

**a/n: My speedy beta EverlastingMuse is made of win!**

**Edward:**

Bella answered her phone after a few rings. I was excited to speak with her, I hadn't had a chance to spend any time with her today at lunch with Jessica and Mike present.

"Bella, this is Edward. How are you?"

"I'm good. And you?" She sounds…cautious. Not cold or angry but somewhat reticent.

"I'm well. I called because Dr. Cope is throwing a birthday party for Dr. Aitken and I was hoping you would be willing to join me?"

"When is it?" So far, so good.

"Wednesday night. Dr. Cope said that she was eager to see you again."

"Oh, Edward, I'm sorry. I have plans with Jasper on Wednesday night."

I'm seeing red. With just one sentence I am furious. I'm not saying it's rational but I knew this was going to happen the second I saw him.

"He certainly moves quickly."

"Edward, it's not like that. I am helping him with something." Her voice is still quiet, restrained.

"Bella, I'm not dense. But if you are pursuing a relationship with your roommate I can find someone else to take to these events." I am an asshole, I know, but I am trying to evoke a response but her voice is too calm. I want her to feel the rage I am feeling, I need something to push back against.

"Maybe that's a good idea, Edward." Her voice is still fucking placid. Is she saying she's interested in Jasper? It feels like my head is being squeezed in a vise. I know I should stop talking but I need to get a response out of her, I need the conflict.

"I'm sure I can find someone else to go but some advance notice would have been nice. But I guess you just moved in with him two days ago so that would have been impossible." I am pushing every ounce of hostility into this I can.

"Edward, I really can't have this conversation with you. I don't think you understand." She is so calm, her voice is so quiet. She doesn't care. I can say all the hateful words I want but she doesn't care about me so it doesn't matter.

"When were we going to have this conversation, Bella? Obviously, I don't know you very well. I made a mistake asking you out." She cuts me off.

"Edward, I need to go. I'm sorry. Goodbye." She hangs up. After staring at the "call ended" box for a moment, I throw the phone at the wall. Hard. I can hear a cracking noise and see the little dent in the paint.

I don't remember the last time I was so furious. I feel the old compulsion to pick a fight, hit someone, break things. I open the window to my room and try to breathe in the cold air. My fingers are gripping the windowsill so hard they hurt.

I was delusional. She doesn't like me. Well, she certainly doesn't _now_, but she didn't like me the way I like her. She never denied being interested in her roommate. She doesn't care about me at all.

I am the most miserable bastard on the planet.

**a/n: Without conflict there is no story, right? I assure you that the runaway angst-train has not derailed this story; actually, it's so low-angst it's like the angst golf-cart.**


	25. Chapter 25

**a/n: EverlastingMuse is awesome and CRAZY fast! **

**Bella:**

"_I made a mistake asking you out."_

I get off the phone with Edward and I am almost dizzy I'm so angry and confused. I'm glad I was able to stay calm and then get off the phone. There have been times when I have had a hard time setting limits with angry people and have just tolerated their rants and I'm proud of myself for not putting up with his craziness.

I am, however, really sad and confused about what just happened. I mean, clearly he misunderstood what was happening with Jasper. I could have worked harder to clear up that misapprehension but I was so irritated by his "I'll just have to find someone else" thing that I couldn't even communicate clearly. It was so Jacob. All I could think of is how silly I was to get attached to someone so much more handsome than me, someone with more money and status. I mean, Jake and I kind of started out on the same footing and he got more important. But Edward started out hotter than me and I should have followed my first instinct and said "no fucking way".

I guess my instinct to protect myself got overridden by my desire to help people out. I sigh and clean up after dinner. I spend a little time taking notes on our meeting with Rose today but I am distracted by my regret over what happened with Edward. I go to bed early, not wanting to have to interact with Jasper tonight.

I stay pretty busy at work the next day, both to avoid Dave's guilt trip about my giving my notice and to not think about what happened with Edward. I try to be excited about my new job and I give Seth a call when I get off work to tell him I'll start being available the Saturday after this one. He is grateful to hear that and tells me that the girls are doing well although his sister's husband is still in pretty bad shape.

When my phone rings that night and Edward's name shows up I don't answer it. Nor do I listen to the message.

I see Alice after class on Wednesday. She gives me a concerned look.

"Bella, I know my asshole brother did something wrong. How can I help?"

"Alice, I don't really want to talk about it. Is that OK?" She looks at me for a minute, as if trying to decide something.

"For now. I just don't want to not be friends with you because my brother's a dick." I pull Alice into a hug.

"Alice, I'm not going to stop being your friend. And I'll make nice with your brother if I have to see him, OK?" She sighs with relief.

"OK, good, because I want to invite you and Rose and Jasper over this Friday. My parents are having a party and I really want to see Jasper again and Rose had wanted to meet Emmett. Edward will probably pout in his room like he has all week." It makes me kind of sad to hear that about Edward. But then it makes me feel kind of good, like he cares about me. I am a mess.

Edward tries to call twice more but I can't listen to the messages because I'm too sad and confused. I will be calmer by Friday night and I will be able to deal with him rationally and not be a sweaty, confused mess.

Friday night I find myself driving over to the Cullen's with a profound sense of dread. I am also driving with the Hale twins who are killing me with their anticipation. I'm trying to hide the fact that I'm feeling some bitterness that they have these potential love-interests and I have…Edward. Or really, I don't have Edward. I have a messy situation I have to clean up with him. I'm not looking forward to it.

Edward is nowhere to be seen when we enter the Cullen's house. Esme and Carlisle seem glad to see me and embrace Jasper and Rose as warmly as they had me. There are a few older couples that look to be friends of theirs and some younger people sitting around talking and eating. Alice agrees to introduce Rose to Emmett while I go searching for Edward. Jasper follows Alice like a puppy while she goes to find Emmett.

I have no luck in the main rooms downstairs and I'm really hoping to not have to ask someone where Edward is. Finally I see a silhouette out on the back deck and I push open the sliding glass door to see Edward sitting in the dark with a bottle and a glass. It's dimly lit on the deck and I can't see his face.

"Edward? Am I bothering you?" I hang back tentatively by the door so I can run away if he starts yelling again.

I can see him jerk slightly at the sound but then he says: "No, Bella, please." His voice is a little slurred. He gets up and gestures to one of the deck chairs. It's cold out here and I have no idea what he's doing out here drinking in the dark.

"I, um…I thought you didn't drink?" Edward laughs bitterly.

"No, I said that it didn't agree with me." I am trying really hard not to feel sorry for him because that will make this harder but he presents a pretty pathetic picture right here. He was extremely drunk.

"Anyway, I brought you the money for the dresser and I wanted to apologize for how things ended…" Edward is still standing and he takes a step closer at my words and shakes his head, looking out in the distance.

"How things ended." He turns his head around to look at me. "Bella, I…" He takes a step closer and reaches out and takes my upper arm in his hand. He is unsteady on his feet and I'm a little intimidated.

He's only about a foot away from me and he's holding me in place. I can spell the alcohol on his breath and I can't make eye contact. He leans in slightly, clumsily and murmurs: "Beautiful Bella, why won't you kiss me?"

I jerk my arm away from him and he is startled, frozen in place.

"You get drunk and _then_ you decide you want to kiss me? Edward, I am trying but I can't do this with you. You threaten my roommate. Then you scream at me because I can't go to some party with you. You say you'll replace me and then you get drunk and decide you think I'm beautiful and want to kiss me?"

I am angry at the mixed messages I get from him. He wants me, then he doesn't. I take a deep breath because the last thing I want to do is have some big scene with him. I'm surprised I let myself say what I just said. It was pretty direct and angry for me. So much for dealing with this rationally and calmly.

"Listen, Edward," I am keeping my voice as calm as I can under the circumstances. "I'm just really sensitive and it's hard for me to be friends with you. It's not your fault I'm so insecure, but it does make me feel bad when you send me mixed messages. It's not good for my self esteem. I am not strong enough to do this with you." I gesture between the two of us. Edward is clearly surprised by my rapid change in tone and is just looking at me frowning slightly. He probably is too drunk to even get what I am saying.

"So, I'm gonna get going, OK? Take care, Edward." I get out of there as fast as I can, before he can even respond.

I walk back into the house and find Jasper and Alice standing in the kitchen talking. They look at me with concern.

"Are you OK?" Alice walks over to me and looks into my face with concern.

"I'm alright, but I kind of want to go home. Can you get Jasper and Rose home?" She nods.

"Do you want me to drive you, Bella?" Jasper asks, putting his hand on my shoulder. I shake my head.

"No, I'm OK to drive. I'll see you at home, OK?" I leave, doing my best to watch out for the rest of the Cullen's so I don't have to explain my 10-minute presence at their party again. I get out and into my car and take a deep breath.

I'm glad I was able to stand up for myself, but in the end I am sad and lonely.

**a/n: The angst golf-cart is almost done; you get this so soon because yesterday's was so short. Thank you for all your awesome reviews!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Edward:**

I open my eyes Saturday morning and then quickly close them. The sun is burning through my eyes into my brain and my head is going to explode. Then, as if that wasn't enough, I remember what happened the night before and I wish I could tear my own head off and throw it away so I don't have to think about what a jerk I am and what a mess I've made.

I drag my miserable carcass into the bathroom, take some aspirin and then take some more aspirin, just for good measure. I take a long shower, trying to wash my hair and body without moving, which is incredibly hard, if you've ever tried it. I walk downstairs warily, knowing that I am going to get ambushed by some member of my family. Alice, at a minimum, will know what an asshole I am. Then it occurs to me that Alice can potentially help me clean this mess up. I prepare myself to do some serious ass-kissing and potential bribery. Yeah, I'm probably going to have to to a lot of bribery to get her help. Maybe a gift card for a shopping spree might help. Alice goes nuts for that crap.

I walk into the kitchen to see Alice sitting at the table with Esme eating breakfast. When she sees me I am treated to a glare, the severity of which I didn't think my perky little sister was capable of.

I shake my head with shame. "I know, Alice. I am worthless." She glares at me again with her lips pressed together. Esme smiles sweetly.

"At least you're willing to admit what a waste of human flesh you are." Alice shakes her head as I grab a cup of coffee, carefully so as not to slam anything on accident. "Both of my brothers are profound failures but Emmett's too dumb to know it."

"I heard that, midget!" Emmett's booming voice in the hallway hurts my head. He comes in and opens up the fridge and grabs a Gatorade.

"What did Emmett do?" I sit down carefully and cradle my head in my hands. God, I hope his offenses are more severe than mine!

"I didn't fall on my knees and kiss her friend's feet." Emmett shakes his head.

"I tried to fix Emmett up with an intelligent, gorgeous, non-bimbo and he insulted her!" Alice's voice is getting a little shrill. It hurts. So much.

"Take it easy, Alice. You're just mad because I told your boyfriend that you got a bulk discount at Nordstrom's." Emmett is laughing, and I feel like my ears are ringing.

"He's not my boyfriend, and that made me sound shallow and materialistic."

"It's not my fault you have the hots for a communist."

"Well at least I'm not an overgrown frat-boy who is too lazy to date a woman who has an IQ above room temperature and isn't 45% plastic." Alice is clenching her fists and rolling her eyes at Emmett.

"You're just anxious because you don't know what that shade-grown-coffee-drinking, hacky-sac-playing, Whole-Foods-shopping, Ralph-Nadar-voting dude is gonna think about your trust fund and your room of shoes." It's true; Alice does have a room of shoes. It's a small room but big enough to have its own window.

Emmett is smiling as he antagonizes Alice who is so angry, she starts to shake. Esme turns to me and laughs.

"Edward, try to patch things up with Bella, OK? She's so nice, and a good girl."

"Jasper is nice!" Alice has turned her attention away from Emmett to wail at Esme.

"Yes, he is dear but you two seem to have different…values? Are you really ready to sell your car and grow your own vegetables?" Emmett laughs. "Don't you laugh, Emmett Cullen," Esme says. "That girl you brought here last night, Mandy? I'm sure she's quite nice but…"

"She's dumber than a box of hair!" Alice shrieks at Emmett. I clutch my head in pain. "Alice, please. I have the worst hangover in the world." She shoots her glare back at me.

"I have no sympathy for you, Edward. And another thing. I am done helping you with Bella. She's my friend and I'm not going to help you fuck with her. Not that you need my help."

"Kids, now it's just getting ugly." Esme gets up to put her mug in the sink.

"Yeah, these guys are animals. I'm gonna go play golf." Emmett walks out smirking at Alice and I. I am still propping my head up with my hands and Alice is glaring at me from over her oatmeal.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I'll try to fix things." Alice rolls her eyes at me and gets up from the table.

"Good luck with that, Edward." She throws her bowl into the sink and walks out, stomping her feet as she goes.

I am in no position to try to think my way out of this one on my own. After all, my defective brain is the one that got me into this. I decide to go over to Ben's and see if he has any advice for me. He has known me longer than anyone outside my family and my therapist. My ex-therapist, that is. When I turned 18, I decided that I no longer needed to see Dr. Eleazar because I hadn't gotten kicked out of school in several years. It occurs to me that maybe a couple sessions with the good doctor might be just what I need.

I leave him a message at his office, even though it's a weekend. I don't want to end up chickening out. Then I head over to Ben's. Not only does he know me well and is still willing to be my friend but he is in a relationship with a woman who doesn't hate him. Excellent qualifications for my current purposes. What the hell did I get myself into, I think as I slam my head onto the table. I wince at the pain. I deserve it. I really do.


	27. Chapter 27

**a/n: I think I'm done beating up on Edward. What do you say we put Bella through the wringer next? Oh, and EverlastingMuse is everything that is good.**

**Bella:**

One look at my roommate the next morning and all I could do is shrug my shoulders.

"Quite a night, huh?" He raised his eyebrow at me and smiled over his granola. I slumped down in the seat across from him at the table.

"Yeah, one for the record books." I realize that I am forgetting about him and Alice. "What happened with you guys? Are you going to see her again?"

Jasper runs his hand through his longish hair and smiles sheepishly. "Yeah, I think so. Things got kind of weird when Emmett asked Rose if her…breasts were real." I feel my jaw drop.

"He didn't!" Jasper chuckles and nods.

"What did she say?" Jasper blushes.

"She pointed to Emmett's 'date' and said Emmett probably hadn't felt real ones since he was nursing." I stifle a laugh and Jasper snorts.

"Alice got in on the Emmett-bashing, just to protect Rose, I think. Then Emmett started in on her shopping habits and it went downhill from there."

"Well, she really likes you, I'm sure things will work out. I'm seeing her today, maybe I'll put another good word in for you." I give Jasper a smile as I pull myself up from the table to get ready.

"How about you? What are you going to do about Edward?" Jasper asks me.

"I'm not going to do anything. I'm done there." I say, grimacing. "I'm too insecure to be with someone who doesn't actually like me."

"Are you kidding me?" Jasper looks at me with a frown. "That's what you think?"

"Yeah, Edward was only asking me out because I was pretending to be his girlfriend for work stuff. He's kind of out of my league."

"Alice told me the story but I don't think you're right at all. You don't threaten people over a girl you don't like." Jasper was frustrating me. I felt like I had this all resolved neatly. Edward didn't like me; that's all there was to it.

"Yeah, maybe he does it just to be a dick. I gotta go get ready. I'll talk to you later, Jasper." I am annoyed. The last thing I want to think about is Edward Cullen and our "relationship". I want the decision I made to be the right one.

I get ready to meet Alice at the shelter trying really hard to put the whole thing out of my head. I get over to Serenity Shelter in time to see Alice pulling up. She has a frown on her face and I know she's going to want to rant so I cut her off.

"So Alice, what's up with you and Jasper?" She is taken by surprise and blushes a little.

"I don't think he's going to want to go out with me since Emmett made me sound like Imelda Marcos." She looks a little sheepish.

"Oh, Alice, I don't think that's true. You should call him." She looks at me skeptically.

"Do you think so?" I nod eagerly.

"Yeah, I don't know him that well, but he seems a little shy. I think you should ask him out for lunch or dinner or something." I am happy to have diverted her so thoroughly. She looks much more cheerful.

We go into the house to be greeted by Rose and about a dozen children. She waves over their heads and exclaims loudly: "Just in time!" We make ourselves busy corralling kids for the next two hours since Rose tells us there is a resume writing class going on upstairs and she's in charge of child-watching.

After two hours of clay, cheerios and chasing toddlers, the moms come back down and start getting lunch ready and we have time to check in with Rose.

"Rose, I am so sorry about Emmett." Alice blurts out when we are in her office. Rose waves a hand dismissively.

"Not your fault, Alice. I've heard worse."

"But you asked us to introduce you. You _liked_ him." Alice is getting kind of high pitched, but Rose just laughs.

"Yeah, he's good looking but I don't really need a man-boy to take care of. I'm over it." Rose smiles at us and I am filled with envy for her confidence and the casual way she handles stuff like this. I wish I were as well-adjusted. Of course, she probably doesn't have any problems finding men interested in her. She's gorgeous.

"It's OK, Alice. Now, when are you going to call _my_ brother?" Rose fixes her gaze on Alice and smiles. Alice blushes again.

"She's gonna call when we leave here." I smile at Rose and she pats Alice's hand.

"Good girl. Now you guys get out of here." She winks at Alice and ushers us out the door.

Alice and I get outside and I can see she wants to say something else.

"Bella, about Edward…"

"Alice, I'm OK. I just don't want to talk about it right now." The last thing I need is for Alice to try to explain her brother or make excuses for him. She shakes her head sadly then gives me a hug.

"Thanks for being my friend." I hug her back, remembering what Edward said about how she had a hard time making friends. I can relate.

I get back home and work on homework for a while before realizing that I am totally not focusing. I call my mom and listen to her talk about how warm it is in Phoenix and about her new neighbor. All I have to do is say "Uh-huh" every few minutes and I can just soak up the sounds of my mother's love and childlike enthusiasm for _everything_. I wonder briefly what my mother would do if she were in the position I were in. Probably corner the guy and force him to like her. I am not so charming or brave. I shake my head to get the thoughts of Edward out of my head.

"Oh, honey, I saw Jacob the other day. He asked about you." I tense at his name.

"Really, that's interesting. Did he have to pry a girl off of his mouth to do it?"

"No, he was alone. He looked kind of sad. I told him you weren't seeing anyone either. Maybe you guys…"

"No, Mom. No. Jacob and I aren't going to patch things up." Jesus! I can imagine my mom telling Jake about how I'm still single, ie. a dateless loser.

"Honey, you guys were together so long! Jake made a mistake but you guys were young! College is where you go to make mistakes."

"Mom, I'm seeing someone." I can't believe that just came out of my mouth. Who the hell am I, Edward fucking Cullen?

"You are?" My mom is thrilled. All her thoughts of Jake are gone. Fickle. "Tell me all about him!" I need to get off the phone before I screw this up anymore.

"Oh, Mom, I have to go…He's picking me up in a little while and I have to get ready."

"Just tell me his name, Sweetie!" OK, here goes!

"Edward. His name is Edward. I gotta go, Mom. Love you!" I hang up and clutch my hand to my chest. What have I done?


	28. Chapter 28

**a/n: EverlastingMuse is the bestest beta ever!**

**Edward:**

"So, you asked her to pretend to be your girlfriend, but then you decided that you wanted her to be your real girlfriend, and then you got drunk and pissed her off by trying to kiss her? Am I getting this right?" Ben is looking at me like I've just sprouted an extra limb or something.

"Well, you make it sound like I manhandled her. I asked her to kiss me and she got mad." I was hoping I didn't make a huge mistake talking to Ben about this.

"Does she like you?" Ben looked at me with a smile.

"I don't know. But my concern is that if I try to show interest in her now, she might just reject me because she hates me and if she doesn't reject me, she might think that it's just because I'm trying to get the teaching position."

"So, maybe what you need to do is wait until the issue of the teaching position is resolved." Ben looks at me as if I am 4 years old.

"That's at least 2 months. What if she meets someone else?" I can feel the panic in my chest at the thought, and I am sure that Ben is not looking at this situation with the proper gravity.

"So, continue to date her if she'll have anything to do with you, and don't get serious until after you find out about the job." Ben makes it sound like the easiest thing in the world. I am imagining he and Angela got together by passing one of those notes that say: "Do you like me? Yes or No. Check one."

"Also," he adds. "You might want to tell her about the…problems you had when you were younger. It might help her to understand."

"I really don't want her to go out with me because she feels sorry for me, Ben. Because I think she would, she's that nice. And then I'd be dating a woman who thinks I'm like Oliver Twist or something. I don't really want a pity-girlfriend."

"She might appreciate the literary reference, though. She's an English major, right?" Ben laughs and I shoot him a glare.

"Seriously, I was just thinking that it would make her feel like it doesn't have anything to do with her when you're being an asshole. Like it's not because she's not good enough. She sounds pretty sensitive."

He has a good point but I just can't see myself doing it.

Ben and I come up with a tentative plan, which makes me feel a little less hopeless, but it all hinges on Bella being willing to see me again. Nevertheless, I feel a little better and I go back home to get some work done on my thesis project, which is really pretty much complete because until recently I had like no social life and plenty of time to mess around on the computer and listen to Coldplay. Which Emmett tells me is a sure sign that I don't like women.

I am taking a break and getting a snack, when Alice comes dancing into the kitchen obviously ecstatic, a complete 180 from her attitude this morning.

"Not even being related to you can ruin my good mood, Edward!" She gives me a kiss on the head, only possible because I'm sitting down and flutters over to the fridge to get something.

"What's up, Alice?" I am relieved that she's in a better mood and determined to make nice.

"I just asked Jasper out on a date and he said 'Yes'!" She claps her hands together despite the bottle of water she is clasping.

"Jasper? Bella's roommate? I had no idea you were interested in him. Does Bella know?" I am on the edge of being pleased that Jasper and Bella are not involved, but the thought occurs to me that he is dating both of them. And then I really would have to kill him.

"Yeah, Edward. Bizarrely enough, other people have been having lives while you thrash around in emo-town." Alice cocks her shoulder at me and gives me a saucy glare but we are both grinning at each other like apes. Clearly Bella is not dating her roommate if she knows about him and Alice. Finally a break!

"What are you two so happy about?" Emmett stumbles in. "Big sale at Banana Republic?"

Not even Emmett can ruin this for us. "'Roid-rage, Emmett?" Alice sings to him as she and I laugh.


	29. Chapter 29

**a/n: Thanks to EverlastingMuse for being the fastest beta ever!**

**Bella:**

_Dear Bella,_

_I hope that I can convince you to attend the Mariner's game with me this Wednesday. I have taken the liberty of including the tickets so that if you do not wish to attend with me you may go anyway. I promise to be on my best behavior. Please let me know if you are willing to go with me. I am eager to have you explain the infield fly rule._

_Yours,_

_Edward_

_P.S. Emmett has offered to come along as a chaperone. If you would prefer this please let me know so that I may procure a ticket and some manners for him._

I looked at Rose. "What do you think?" She smiled at me and stretched out on her couch a little bit. She had caught me coming in from work, and said that my "boyfriend" had left this with her to give to me.

"I'm sure he was intending to leave it on the door or something, but I was out there getting my paper and I wanted to scope out this guy who's caused so much drama." She had grinned at me and dragged me upstairs to read it.

"I think…I think that he is sorry for offending you." Rose was choosing her words carefully. I had told her about Edward when I tried to correct her about the "boyfriend" thing. "I don't know how you feel about him but this makes it sound like he wants to make things right. If you like him you should go."

"But what if I like him and he really doesn't feel the same way? My last boyfriend wasn't really as serious about me as I was about him and it broke my heart!"

"How long ago was that?" I had been hoping she wouldn't ask. What kind of 22 year-old hasn't had a date in 2 years? Except the hopelessly socially maladjusted?

"2 years," I said, looking down at my lap. When I looked up to see her response Rose was raising an eyebrow at me.

"Two years? You haven't been on a date in 2 years? You are going." Rose gets up and starts rummaging around at a desk she has in the corner of her living room. She comes back with a pen and paper. Handing them to me she says: "Are you ready to write? I'll dictate."

"Rose, I'm not just going to go on a date with him because my statute of limitations is up! He hurt my feelings!"

"He hurt your feelings?" Rose is looking at me skeptically. "Are you 6?"

I frown at Rose. "No, but…" She interrupts me.

"You are a big girl who has been afraid of going out on a real date for 2 years. I bet that's why this whole 'pretend girlfriend' thing appeals to you. If it isn't real, you don't have to do any work. Get ready to write." She gives me such a serious look that I have no choice. I start writing.

Luckily, the note that Rose has me write accepting the invitation is brief and light in tone. We finish and agree that I will give it to Alice in class the following day. Rose's influence on me is formidable but I guess that's what I need to get out of my pathetic social slump.

In the meantime, at least Alice and Jasper are happily infatuated with each other. They have made plans to go to dinner this Friday and they are both almost unbearably giddy with excitement. It's kind of gross except that they are both so sweet.

I have gotten into the habit of hanging out with Rose for a while in the evenings when she gets off work. She works such long hours, she has little time for a real social life, so it's nice for her to talk to someone who is neither a client nor her brother. I walked up to her place Tuesday night to see a vase of roses outside her door. When she answered my knock I gestured to them.

"Decorating the stairs now, Rose?" She rolled her eyes.

"That other brother of Alice's. Get it? Roses. Rose." She pointed to the flowers and then herself. "I'm just about to toss them out."

"Why?" She shrugs her shoulders.

"I just don't do these kind of games. He had a chance and he chose to be a man-boy. I've lost interest." I can see where Rose can afford to be like this. I mean, she's beautiful. She can always find another guy. I feel a bit bad for Emmett, though. He seems like a nice guy if you can overlook his relationship issues.

"You're brutal, Rose." I stretch out on the couch and let Rose talk me down off the ledge about my "date" with Edward the next day. I am picking him up so at least I can abandon him at the ballpark if he bothers me. I am excited about seeing the baseball game, and I am cautiously excited about seeing Edward. If nothing else I can hope for him to get hit by a line-drive or something. I love baseball.

**a/n: I know I've not been the speedy updater you have become accustomed to. I've gotten distracted by not one but two other ideas! I know how this ends and promise to finish I just got really excited about other ideas! Thanks for all your awesome reviews! JuJu**


	30. Chapter 30

**a/n: I keep forgetting to mention how I don't own Twilight, but you knew that, didn't you? EverlastingMuse is the quickest, awesomest beta ever!**

**Edward:**

I am anxiously waiting for Bella to pick me up for the Mariner's game. I hope she doesn't change her mind. Appallingly, I had to get wardrobe advice from Emmett of all people, owing to his greater experience attending professional sporting events. He has me dressed in the worst clothing I own: a dark blue t-shirt and a pair of jeans that I wear to help Esme paint. I would never willingly go out in public like this if I were not advised by my brother that it is absolutely the right thing to wear.

Bella arrives punctually, and I thank Emmett silently. She is wearing jeans, a dark blue Mariner's sweatshirt, and a baseball hat. I would have been embarrassingly overdressed, if I had not heeded Emmett's advice.

I get into Bella's decrepit truck and she greets me shyly. I am expecting things will still be a bit awkward while I try to repair the damage I've done to our rapport. I turn to her as she pulls away from the curb.

"Bella, I appreciate you being willing to do this with me after the way I acted. I would like to apologize and I promise you that I will be on my best behavior from now on." She blushes, clearly uncomfortable talking about this. God, I love that blush but not the reason for it.

"Thank you for apologizing, Edward. I'm sorry I wasn't more clear that I wasn't dating my roommate.

"Yeah, as it turns out he's interested in my sister." Normally I would be suspicious and probably hostile to anyone taking Alice out, but I am so relieved that he's not interested in Bella. I'm thinking about paying for their dates.

"Yeah, I hope it's worth the buildup for them." Bella says. I laugh. "Alice spent 3 hours on the phone last night trying to get reservations at some restaurant. I think she may have compromised her virtue getting them a table for Friday night."

"Eewww." Bella wrinkles her nose. Thankfully we are able to make small talk the short drive to the ballpark.

When we get there, I ask Bella if she knows where the seats are.

"Yeah, but we need to stop someplace first." she says mysteriously. She leads me to one of the booths where they sell hats, t-shirts and pretty much anything else Mariner's related you can think of. She starts picking up hats and trying them on me. She's having a hard time finding one to fit because apparently my head is enormous. Go figure.

"Why can't I just get one like this?" I pick up a hat with an adjustable band.

Because you're neither a woman nor a baby and you have to wear the right hat." Bella doesn't even look up from what she's doing to answer me. She puts a hat on my head and adjusts it slightly. I have to stoop to help her reach the top of my head. She squints at it and then smiles. "Perfect. How does it feel?" I touch the hat on my head and shrug my shoulders. "Good. Are we ready now?"

"Yep," she says, handing the man behind the counter some money. I protest but she shakes her head. "I'm the one insisting that you wear the hat. It's my treat."

We make our way to the seats and Bella begins to explain to me that the pitcher we're about to see is the Mariner's best, their "ace", but she gives me a wry grin when she explains that pitching hasn't been their strength and their "ace" is "7 and 9".

"I don't know what that means," I look at her blankly. Her eyes get wider and she looks amazed.

"Have you ever been to a baseball game?" I shake my head. "Seen one on TV?" Again, no. She laughs. "I thought it was a mandatory guy thing to go to a game with your dad or whatever."

"Carlisle and I did other stuff together, like Steely Dan concerts and stuff. And my father, we didn't do stuff…" I don't know why I'm going down this road, and am trying to figure out how to backtrack when she interrupts.

"Oh, God, Edward. I'm so insensitive. I forgot about your being adopted. I'm sorry." I give her a smile to show I'm not upset.

"It's OK. It's nice that you forgot. Anyway, what is '7 and 9'?"

"Wins and losses. 7 wins and 9 losses. His ERA is 2.94, which is decent but other factors come into play, like run support, walks and errors, which Hernandez has no control over."

"I'm sorry, you lost me at ERA." She laughs.

"We'll start from the beginning. Earned run average, ERA, is how many hits he has given up. You want a low number for that if you're a pitcher." She proceeds to explain the myriad of numbers which begin to flash on the scoreboard as the game progresses. Baseball is incredible for a math geek like myself and I'm surprised that I haven't discovered it before. They have statistics available for every possible scenario; each hitter's record versus the pitcher for the game, the season and career, number of fly balls caught, errors and on-base percentage in every scenario you can think of. You look at the statistics and predict the outcome and then the numbers change. It's so entrancing that I almost forget to watch the action on the field itself because I'm lost in the beauty of the possibilities and the interplay of the numbers.

So I watch the action on the field and am struck by the beauty and the cerebral nature of the game. Yes, these are professional athletes trying to hit a small white ball around but the pace is so different from the football and basketball games Emmett has subjected me to that it seems a different medium entirely. Emmett hates baseball. He says it's "too slow". I think it's perfect. There are so many nuances in the way the players position themselves based on the hitter's tendencies, the different pitches that are thrown, even who goes out to the mound to talk to the pitcher.

Bella is clearly taken aback at how quickly I've taken to the sport but she seems pleased. I'm incredibly disappointed that the season is almost over. There are only a few games left in the season, so I ask if she wants to come back on Saturday.

"I'm sorry, that's supposed to be the first day of my new job."

"I had no idea you had a new job. Where are you working?" She explains about meeting an author who needs a personal assistant while his sister is caring for her husband. I am furious when she tells me this. Isn't this exactly the offer I made her? The one she turned down? I start to say something, but I realize that she can see the look on my face, and can tell that I'm angry. I am about to blow the whole afternoon by opening my mouth and saying something stupid and mean. I close my eyes and take a deep breath and am able to choke out enough words to excuse myself.

I go into the bathroom and splash water on my face and take deep breaths and am able to calm down. I am pleased that I am able to keep myself under control and I buy some red licorice and go back to the seats.

"Hey, I got you some licorice." I hand the candy to Bella. She looks at me wide-eyed with surprise.

"Uh, thanks, Edward." She opens the package and takes a bite. She looks at me cautiously and smiles. I smile back and just like that, we are able to pick up our easy conversation and watch the rest of the game.

I am feeling like the date was a success, and am extremely careful to thank Bella for joining me, and for introducing me to baseball. She is clearly a little nervous as she drops me off but she says she had fun and I am eager to believe her.

I pat myself on the back that I made it through one date with Bella without being too much of a freak, and I scheme for my next opportunity to see her. I am easily pleased these days.

**a/n: I know that this is the slowest moving story in the western world but I have an evil plan, I swear! Thanks for bearing with me and for your sweet reviews! Many of them are more entertaining than my writing! xoxo, JuJu**


	31. Chapter 31

**a/n: EverlastingMuse is like the queen of all awesome betas. Neither of us own Twilight, though.**

**Bella:**

I am thrilled, but perplexed, by my date with Edward. On one hand, it was really cool to see him get really into baseball and he was incredibly well-mannered the whole time. On the other hand, he was really incredibly well-mannered the whole time.

I wonder what brought on this sudden change in disposition. I saw him almost lose it there for a second towards the end, and I felt something like relief because that had been what I was waiting for. When he excused himself without screaming at me, and came back with candy I thought I was hallucinating.

Thankfully, I was able to debrief with the ever lucid and frank Rose Friday night after we saw Jasper off on his date with Alice. It took both of us to make sure he didn't iron yet another shirt. Seriously, I've never met someone as blunt as Rose. Maybe it is her experience with the women in her shelter, but she tends to see through all of my self-delusion and excuses.

"So, you're uncomfortable because he wasn't a jerk? You don't want to go out with him because he's a jerk and now you're stressing that he wasn't a jerk? You're smoking something funny with Jasper, aren't you?" Rose is trying to giver herself a manicure and failing miserably; she keeps spilling nail polish on her pants and getting cotton ball fluff on her sticky nails.

"Well, when you put it like that, Rose, I _do_ sound like a flake." I am embarrassed that she calls me out on this stuff, but if I didn't have someone like Rose, I'd probably be in an indecision paralysis all the time. I wish I'd met her two years ago.

"Yeah, you do." Rose huffs as she removes her messed-up polish for the third time. I am eager to change the subject so I decide to turn the tables on Rose.

"So, heard from Emmett?" I cock my eyebrow at her and smirk. She glares at me as she gets up to wash her hands in my kitchen.

"Ha! Nice try, Miss Swan! Your buddy Emmett saw that trick that worked for his brother and sent me a set of tickets to the Seattle Symphony! Just so I know how really he's a classy guy, right?" Rose laughs.

"What did you do?" Emmett? The Symphony? I am perplexed.

" I sent him a really nice letter on the shelter's letterhead thanking him for the donation, and I sold them on Craigslist and spent the money on a trip to the movies for the kids." I've never seen such a satisfied look on a woman's face.

"Rose, you didn't!" I look at her in awe. "I wish I could have been there to see his face." Rose said, sitting down to try to paint her nails for a fourth time.

Just then the door flew open and a red-faced, furious Jasper burst through the door. "Jasper, what happened? You're supposed to be out with Alice?" I jumped up and followed him to the door to his room where he was clawing at his tie and mumbling to himself. I looked at the time; it had only been forty-five minutes.

"I've never met such a frustrating woman in my life! I can't…I couldn't make her understand…Of all things! There's hundreds of restaurants in Seattle, we could have gone someplace else!" He was making no sense. Rose had wandered over to the door to listen.

"Jasper, I don't understand? What was wrong with the restaurant?" He turned to look at me, more helpless than angry now.

"A strike, the wait staff was on strike. There was a picket line. I can't…" I turned to Rose when Jasper couldn't finish his sentence. She nodded and looked at me. "Jasper doesn't cross picket lines. He feels really strongly about organized labor and he won't go anywhere the workers are striking. It used to make our Dad so mad! One time he refused to get on a flight to see our grandparents because of a strike. We had to get him a bus ticket and Mom made Dad take the bus with him because he was only fifteen and she worried about him on the bus alone." Rose shook her head and gave her brother a gentle smile.

"Alice didn't understand?" Jasper shook his head.

"I get where you're coming from, Jasper, but Alice worked really hard to get those reservations and she was probably just disappointed." Jasper rubs his head distractedly and nods at me.

"Yeah, she was pretty clear on that." We pull Jasper out of his room and make him popcorn to commiserate. He pulls out his "Reds" dvd and we watch it with him. We manage to talk him into trying to go out with Alice again, checking for any planned work stoppages ahead of time. I have a sick feeling of pleasure that I'm not the only person I know who can't pull off a normal relationship. And then I have _that_ to feel guilty about.

**a/n: I know, I know, it's crazy short. I will never do this rigidly alternating POV thing again, I promise. The next one is freakishly long, I swear. JuJu**


	32. Chapter 32

**a/n: It's like feast or famine with this thing! You get 900 words of Bella and then 3,700 words of Edward? Anyhow, EverlastingMuse puts up with my imbalance beautifully and you guys write me nice reviews, so, thanks!**

**Edward:**

In the next four weeks, between September 29th when Bella and I attended my first Mariner's game and Wednesday, October 27th when we had lunch in my office the following happened: I had two formal interviews and six informal conversations with various deans about the teaching position, I met with Dr. Eleazar, my therapist, four times, Ben and I met with representatives of the Volturi group twice, and I got my doctoral project approximately 92% done.

Additionally, I took Bella to one concert, two movies, ate lunch with her on campus six times, and dinner with my parents three times and one faculty party. Additionally I saw her five times when she came to see my sister. We exchanged fifteen emails and ten phone calls (where we spoke to each other). I left her eight phone messages, she left me five. She sent three messages to me through my sister; I sent five messages to her through my sister. You know, just stuff like; "See you Wednesday." or "Good luck on your test."

I guess I already sound obsessive, so I'm going to admit that I know that I held her hand five times (for all too brief periods of time), put my arm around her shoulder three times, and her waist (heavenly) once. She touched my arm sixteen times and my upper leg (maddening) three times. And once, one single time, she kissed me on the cheek when I dropped her off at home. A tame thing for an adult man to relive, but it was all I had. Every minute of every hour was one that I would treasure and remember.

I discussed this (leaving out the specific numbers) with both Dr. Eleazar and Ben. Ben's a math guy like me, so he totally understood my need to collect data, but Dr. Eleazar had begun to ask me where I felt my relationship with Bella was going. For someone I'd known since I was twelve, he sure could ask awkward questions.

"I…uh…want to have a relationship with her, I mean a real one." He was waiting for me to embellish, I could tell. "I would like her to be my…girlfriend?" My voice got kind of high-pitched when I got to that part. What a weird word!

"What does she want?" Dr. Eleazar asked. How should I know? I'm not a mind reader! I can hardly read facial expressions! Alice jokes about me being the oldest living undiagnosed autistic student. To which I argue that there are people far older than me who have been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders and when I start to cite examples and feed her statistics, she says: "You prove my point!"

"I assume that she likes me; she continues to go out with me." I say that and then I realize that I could be wrong. I feel horrified and panicky when I think about Bella's generosity with her time and friendship and consider the possibility that maybe she's just being nice. Dr. Eleazar sees the look on my face.

"What, Edward?" I clench my fists. Is it possible?

"Bella is really…nice. She could be just being nice because she feels sorry for me. Maybe Alice told her about my parents and the group homes, and Bella feels sorry for me." I look at him with fear. I'm starting to get angry. Could Alice have told her?

"Well, I'm not sure that any young lady is _that_ nice, but you could ask her."

"Just ask her?" I laugh, chokingly. "Bella, do you like me? Or do you just think I'm an oversized, abused orphan?"

"Well, I would recommend a little more…finesse, but yes, I think that you could have a conversation about your intentions and hers."

"Well, I could, but I also have been somewhat uncomfortable with the whole job thing. I have been planning on waiting until the job issue is resolved until I…until we…um…"

"Get more serious?" Dr. Eleazar is the best. I would have been hanging there for days had he not interceded.

"Yes. It seems like then she'll know for sure that I'm not using her."

"I understand your reasoning, Edward, but communicating your interest to her might be healthy, whether or not you become more _intimate._"

I have a little internal freak-out when he says that out loud. It's one thing for me to think about being _intimate_ with Bella, which I do sometimes. OK, I think about it a lot. But Dr. Eleazar, who knows me better than almost anyone, saying it out loud is thrilling and terrifying at the same time. What if she doesn't want to?

I promise him that I will try to talk with Bella and go home, but I am a bit shaken. As soon as I see Alice, I demand to know if she's told Bella about my childhood before Esme and Carlisle adopted me.

"Edward, I would never do that without your permission and I told you that I wasn't getting involved with you guys anymore. And look at how great you're doing on your own! You guys are getting along great!" Alice seems thrilled and I am relieved that she hasn't told Bella anything. Then because I can't resist, I ask Alice if Bella has said anything significant about me, like how she feels or that she can't resist me or something. Alice looks at me for a second, clearly trying to make a decision.

Shaking her head at me she says: "Edward, I told you I'm not getting involved. By the way, have you changed your mind about letting me dress you for the Halloween party?" We have a big Halloween party here every year and I know for a fact that Alice has some adorably embarrassing plans for me, just like every year.

"No way, Alice. I learned my lesson in high school. Remember the 80's pop star year?"

"You made the best Boy George!" Alice claps her hands at the memory.

"Yeah, and I convinced everyone we knew that I was ultra-gay. I couldn't change in P.E. for years without getting threatened. Or propositioned. I think I'm going to do my own costume again this year, thank you!"

"Bella's letting me dress her!" I am mildly intrigued, but it's not enough to end up wearing tights and make-up on Friday.

"That's because she doesn't know you well." Alice sticks her tongue out at me.

What's perverse is that the quasi-relationship I have with Bella with its quaint Victorian era lack of intimacy and nebulous goals, is far better than the train wrecks my siblings have for relationships. Or should I say, lack thereof. Jasper and Alice's second date was only slightly less disastrous than the first in that it lasted longer than forty-five minutes. Jasper chose the restaurant; a vegan café run by a collective of environmental and political activists. It lacked chairs and hygienic wait staff, served only local produce and foods with low environmental impact and taste, and had a clientele that apparently consisted of strident young men with dreadlocks and former girlfriends of Jasper's. Not a resounding success in Alice's eyes.

Alice, however, had actually secured two dates with her beau. Emmett had spent countless hours, funds and self-respect trying to get a flicker of attention from Jasper's sister, who continued to rebuff his every advance. Emmett was not accustomed to being refused and it was apparently an incredible aphrodisiac for him.

It's the night of the party and I have dressed myself as a vampire for the Halloween party and am helping Esme get the food together, while Emmett manages the bar and Alice gets herself and Bella dressed. Emmett borrowed some scrubs from Carlisle like he had every year since he was seventeen. Alice had asked me to manage the music as well, so I'm tied up for the first half hour arguing with Emmett about appropriate music for a party for which our parents would be present. Not to mention anyone whose opinion I respected. He is somewhat ornery, as Rosalie had declined to come, preferring to take the children of her clients trick-or-treating. Jasper, however, has come.

He's hanging out in the living room, wearing of all things, a Confederate soldier's uniform. I raise an eyebrow at him and gesture to his costume when I see him.

"Is that really P.C., Jasper? The Confederacy?" He blushes and brushes his arm along the sleeve of his uniform.

"I'm making an effort. Bella told me that your sister was coming as Scarlett O'Hara and I thought…" He trails off as I smile encouragingly at him.

"She'll love it. Wait until she sees you." Jasper relaxes visibly. Just then Scarlett herself came down the stairs and squeals at the sight of Jasper.

"Oh my God! How did you know? It's perfect!" Alice grabs his arms and dances him around the living room in a circle. He chuckles but refuses to reveal his sources. Alice turns back to the stairs and yells: "OK, Bella! Time to come out, beautiful!"

Bella comes down the stairs and she _is_ beautiful. Alice has dressed her as a ballerina, using the term "dressed" loosely. She's wearing a short white dress covered with feathers, which displayed the majority of her legs and all of her arms and shoulders. There was a cluster of white feathers in her upswept hair as well. She's breathtaking and obviously self-conscious. I thank my sister silently and go to take her hand.

"You look beautiful." She blushes and looks down, tugging at the tutu of her dress. "Thanks. I guess I can see why you don't let Alice dress you anymore, though." She looks up at me. "I mean, she goes kind of overboard, huh?"

"She would have had me in tights and no shirt, to match your costume." I laugh as her eyes got wide. "It would have been embarrassing. You look far better than I would have as a ballet dancer."

"She's a swan, get it?" Alice walks over, Jasper in tow.

"She looks great, Alice." Jasper says and my sister beams at him.

My dad comes over just then looking sheepish. I groan because I know what's up. My dad got really excited about doing a fancy, electrified Halloween display. He has been working on it all week and has asked me for help with minor electronic and control board stuff about a hundred times.

"What isn't working?" I laugh and he apologizes to Bella.

"Edward told me not to get this ambitious, but I thought of it as being a dry run for Christmas. Can I borrow him?" Bella nods laughing and Alice and Jasper drag her over to where Emmett is serving "spooky" cocktails he found on Martha Stewart's website.

Carlisle has made a mess of the wiring for his display of zombies, witches and scary doctors with dismembered bodies. I am seriously thinking about taking his decorating privileges away before Christmas, because the last place I want to be right now is crawling around on the lawn with wire cutters and extension cords. It takes nearly an hour and I have lost my cape and fake teeth in the process.

"You owe me, Dad." I wave my finger at him threateningly as he attempts to attract the neighbor's attention to his newly functional display. He laughs and thanks me and I go look for Bella…

…who is standing at Emmett's makeshift bar with what looks like a glass of blood in one hand and the other hand steadying herself on the counter. As I walk over I shoot a questioning glance at Emmett who smiles and gives me a thumbs up.

When Bella sees me she smiles broadly, too broadly and attempts to put her drink down. And by "attempt" I mean makes three passes at the counter before she finds it. I realize that my brother has gotten her _really_ drunk.

"Hey, Edward. Did you get the zombies working?" She reaches out an unsteady hand for me and I grab her upper arm to steady her and shoot my brother a glare. She is so wobbly on her feet that she is leaning against me, a welcome intrusion on my personal space in other circumstances but not really what I had planned.

"Bella, sit down for a second and let me talk to Emmett, OK?" I guide her to a chair and she flops down agreeably and puts her hand to her head as if just now realizing how much she's had.

I pull my brother to me by the sleeve of his scrubs. "What the hell, Emmett?" Emmett grins at me and gives me a slap on the shoulder. "Eddie, I'm doing you a favor." He gestures to Bella who is swaying slightly in her chair. "You two are too shy to get it on sober. I thought maybe if you loosen up a little bit you might score."

"Emmett, _getting it on_ with drunk girls is really your area of expertise. Bella's trashed." I'm too mad to talk to him anymore and I go find Alice.

She and Jasper are helping Esme with the food. I pull her aside to tell her what happened and she nods understandingly while shooting Emmett a dirty look.

"I'm going to take her home. Do you know where her keys are?"

"Yeah, let me go get them." Alice runs upstairs and gets Bella's keys and a sweater since it's chilly out.

I find Bella, still thankfully sitting where I left her and wrap the sweater around her. "Come on, sweetie, I'm going to take you home." I pull her up out of the chair and help her outside.

"Edward, I think I drank too much." Bella says to me with a look of wonder on her face. I stifle a laugh. She's adorable.

"Yeah, kiddo, I think you did. Don't worry, I'm going to take you home before you do anything stupid." She nestles into the passenger seat of my Volvo at an awkward angle and I turn her around a little to get her seatbelt on.

"I'm sorry you have to leave your party so early. I blame Martha Stewart. Those drinks are much stronger than they should be." She is babbling and playing with the tulle skirt of her costume as I drive. She tips her head back into the seat after she says this and is quiet the rest of the way to her apartment.

I park and walk around to her side, getting her keys out of my pocket. I open the door and attempt to rouse her. "Bella? Come on, we're home. Let's get you inside." I am forced to admit to myself that I hate that she's missed out on the party but I like being able to take care of her. Also, she's so out of it that I'm not as nervous as I generally feel around her. I could be a total dork right now, and she wouldn't even notice.

She mumbles and slowly opens her eyes, stretching slightly. I undo her seatbelt and start to help her out of the car. She's able to get on her feet but she's wobbly. I have to sit her down on the porch again so I can find the right key, but I get her inside and am forced to consider my next step. I don't feel like I should just leave her here but I really want to be respectful. I decide to get her tucked into bed while somehow observing propriety.

I take her in and sit her down on her bed. "OK, Bella, tell me where your pajamas are." She starts giggling and flops over backwards on her bed. "Why are you going to wear my pajamas, Edward? They're not going to fit you. You're much too big." She lowers her voice flirtatiously at this last sentence and flutters her lashes at me. Jesus. This would be great if she wasn't passing out drunk!

"No, honey, you're going to wear your pajamas. Where are they?" She giggles again and waves over to her dresser. The one I bought her, I remind myself proudly. I love that her room is filled with things that are connected to me. The bed I helped her pick up, my rug. I rummage through the drawers until I find a pair of flannel pajamas. I am careful to bypass skimpier looking things. That's totally not what I need right now. Well, really it is, but you know.

"OK, here's your pajamas. I'm going to shut the door so you can get changed, OK? Let me know when you're done." I pull her up so she's sitting up again. She shakes her head slightly to try to stay alert and gives me a tiny nod. I walk out of the room and shut the door, taking a deep breath. I get a glass of water from the kitchen for her and wash my face in the bathroom, just to get the last of my vampire make-up off. As I walk out of the bathroom I hear her calling me from her room. I go to the door and ask her what she needs.

"Um, could you come in here for a minute?" I open the door hesitantly to see her still on the bed in her costume. She is trying to reach behind her back and she looks at me in frustration. "I can't undo this dress. It's got hooks in the back and I can't reach." I take a deep breath as she turns around and so her pale back and neck are exposed to me. I hesitate for a moment. This is like heaven and hell all mixed up. Never have I wanted a woman like this and yet been convinced that I couldn't have her. Not only is the timing of this situation impossible but I have no intention of pushing intimacies on a woman while she was too drunk to agree to them willingly. She notices me hesitating and looks over her shoulder at me shyly.

"I'm sorry," she says, in the smallest, most embarrassed voice ever. "No," I said. "Don't be sorry. Here." I reach out and put my hands on the two part of the dress and carefully unhook it, carefully leaving it as closed as I can. "OK?" I ask. She nods and I leave the room again, quickly. Embarrassingly, I stay right outside her door listening to the soft rustling of her movements, telling myself it's because she might need my help. Finally, I hear the sound of her hand on the doorknob and I quickly move several feet away from the door and pretend to look at a poster on the wall.

She opens the door and stands in the doorway, holding the frame for stability, wearing her flannel pajamas. Her hair is still pinned up and topped with feathers. I smile at her appearance. She had been gorgeous, sexy, and exquisite; now she is adorable. "Come on, silly swan. You've still got feathers in your hair." I lead her back to her bed and sit her down as she touches her hair and giggles. I pull the pins out of her hair and set aside the feathered headpiece. I get her glass of water and locate some Advil in her bathroom.

"If you take these, you may not want to die tomorrow morning." She willingly takes the Advil, all the while looking at me with those big dark eyes. "Come on, get in bed." I say, pulling back her covers and waiting for her to slide under them before covering her up. I want nothing more on this planet but to slide in there with her.

"Edward?" She peeks up at me from under the edge of her covers. I sit down on the side of her bed. "Yeah?" She has sobered up considerably through all this.

"Will you stay here with me for a while?" She looks away from me and than back. She is embarrassed, and I can tell she is afraid I'll say no. I smile and kick off my shoes. "Of course." I lay down on the bed on top of the covers, just to be safe. She is still looking at me with those big brown eyes. We are lying there, facing each other and I want to kiss her so badly, but I don't know how drunk she still is, and it just seems like a bad idea. I mean, not really. It actually seems like the best idea I've ever had, but I imagine myself talking to Dr. Eleazar about my thought process and I am almost sure he would think that it was a good idea to have a conversation about my intentions first. And I am positive that a formal conversation about my feelings and intentions should not be had right now, with me in, well really, on, her bed and her looking at me with those enormous brown eyes. So the kissing thing is out.

Bella and I just stare into each others eyes for what seems like an hour, but is probably really a few minutes and then I look away and I say, because I am an idiot: "You should go to sleep now." She gets the most heartbroken look on her face and closes her eyes and I think that I should leave because I fucked up again.

But the thought of leaving really bothers me, so I decide to get more comfortable and I take off my belt and unbutton my shirt because it's one of those starchy as fuck dress shirts, even though I have an undershirt on as well. I get done with my wardrobe adjustments and I realize that she has opened up her eyes again, and as I settle back in we are facing each other again. Then she closes her sleepy-looking eyes and reaches out and puts her hand on my chest, right over my heart. Without realizing what I'm doing, I put my hand over hers and close my eyes and realize that I'm in love with her and that I am surely going to screw this up.


	33. Chapter 33

**a/n: So sorry about the wait, I have actually had to **_**work**_** this week! Totally unreasonable, right? Anyway, EverlastingMuse is the queen of betas and I don't own it.**

**Bella:**

I'm dreaming that I'm being held down by an army of Lilliputians, like in Gulliver's Travels. Except that instead of lying flat on the ground, I'm being folded like a taco and the tiny people have gotten into my head and are pounding away inside my head with their little stakes. The pounding in my head eventually wakes me up and when I open my eyes, I'm looking at the sleeping, angelic face of _Edward_? Angelic was not the adjective that I generally thought of to describe him, but asleep, with his pretty face and mussed-up hair, it's strangely accurate.

Luckily, I'm able to remember most of the previous night. Even if I can't, I would have never thought any hanky-panky took place between Edward and I. The preponderance of evidence is strongly against it. First of all, I'm wearing the biggest, most concealing pair of flannel pajamas I own. I think they used to be my dad's. Charlie Swan's pajamas=not sexy. Secondly, Edward is still almost completely dressed. He's taken off his shoes and unbuttoned his shirt but he has one of those old-man undershirts on underneath. Thirdly, and most importantly, I'm under the covers and he's on top of them.

The taco-like posture I have, however, is giving me pause. I'm on my side facing Edward and my arm is wrapped around his neck. The leg on the bottom is sandwiched between his legs through the covers, and my other leg has worked it's way out of the covers, pushed it's pajama leg up so that the fabric was bunched above my knees and Edward's hand is holding it so it's draped over his legs, with his fingers grasping the bare back of my knee. Awkward and enjoyable at the same time.

I like being able to look at Edward like this, despite the creep-factor involved in watching someone sleep. I'm not sure that I have ever been this close to his face and if I had I certainly hadn't been able to peruse it like this. He has a tiny scar on his lower lip and another one near his eye, one of those eyebrow scars that you can only see because there is a gap in the eyebrow hair. I'm reminded of the scars on his knuckles. How does a computer science graduate student get so many scars? I'm not sure that I'm willing to ask him.

Things have definitely been smoother between Edward and I for the past month, but we were also frustratingly chaste. I hate to sound like Emmett but I am actually getting frustrated by not being able to get any action.

I know that anyone that I complain to about this situation is going to tell me to either make the first move or have a conversation. The problem with this advice is I have already made as much of a first move as I feel comfortable with. I have kissed him on the cheek and touched his leg, upper leg even, and it didn't seem to have the effect of escalating relations between us. And having a conversation? "Edward, I can tell that you have these really admirable, respectful ideas about courtship but what I would really like is to rub myself against you a lot. Are you amenable to that?" Not a chance.

I can only assume that it's one of two things. Either Edward is gay or he really isn't that interested in me. There are times that I've had myself convinced that he actually likes me, despite the vast disparities in our looks. But then other times I'm sure that this really is just about him having someone to take to faculty meetings and stuff while he tries to get his teaching position at the university. The whole situation is confusing.

I dealt with my insecurity by reminding myself that there would soon be resolution of some sort. When the job situation resolved itself he would either continue to ask me out or not. I figured I could make it for another two months without accosting him. I'm pretty civilized that way.

I'm laying here weighing the relief that I would get from getting up and eating a bowl of aspirin, versus continuing to be horizontal, staring at Edward and wallowing in the subtle and yet significant thrill I get from his fingers on the back of my knee.

The choice is taken away from me by a sudden clamor outside of my room, Rose's voice and then Rose's startling appearance in my room.

I'm not sure who is more freaked out by the situation we find ourselves in: Rose, who has frozen with her hand over her mouth saying: "Oh my God," or Edward, who has shot up and scrambled down to the end of my bed with a look of _terror_ on his face. I almost want to laugh, because it's so "getting caught by your parents" but Edward's fear is real.

Rose manages to unfreeze and retreat out of my room, in reverse, closing the door with abject apologies. I look at Edward, who is rubbing his face to hide the fact that he was terrified when Rose burst in.

"Are you OK?" I ask, pulling myself up so I'm sitting up and wincing at the throb in my head. He is looks at me, clearly embarrassed, and laughs.

"Yeah, I was just disoriented. Let me get you some aspirin or something. I bet you feel like crap." He crawls off the bed and resumes every inch of his usual dignity, slipping on his glasses and buttoning up his shirt. Bummer.

I drag myself out of bed and go out to the living room with him, where we find ourselves facing Jasper and Rose, talking quietly. They are staring at us but Edward manages to ignore them. I blush and make my way into the kitchen to make some coffee since I know that Jasper is drinking chai or crappy organic tea or something.

I am managing to spill grounds everywhere in my hungover state, when Edward comes in to give me a couple pills. He has put his belt and shoes back on.

"Do want to stay for coffee?" I ask, with the sinking feeling that he won't. I can tell by now when he is about to retreat. I guess waking up in my bed and being woken up by Rose's intrusion is a little too much for him to take.

"No, I, uh, have to get home. I'll see you later?" He can't look me in the eye.

"OK." I say, cursing whatever his damage is that he can't handle having fucking coffee. I watch him walk out of the kitchen and then stop him.

"Edward?" He turns around and looks at me hesitantly. "Thank you for taking care of me last night. I didn't mean to drink so much. It was nice of you to…"

"Not a problem. You're welcome. See you, OK?" He practically runs out the door and I sigh.

Rose is on me in a heartbeat. "What happened?" She stands between me and the percolating coffee I am watching.

"Sleep, Rose. We slept, covers between us, as you could see when you bulldozed in."

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I had no idea he was here."

"What's so important, anyway?" I had almost forgotten that she had burst into my room in a most un-Rose like fashion.

"Oh, I've got a big crisis down at the shelter and I want to borrow your truck. Some pipes burst and the downstairs bedroom and bathroom got flooded and I need to haul some soaked carpet and ruined crap out of there." Rose shakes her head and I notice how tired and stressed she looks.

"Sorry, Rose. Yeah, of course you can use the truck. Can you drive me to Seth's first? I have to do a couple hours of work today." My coffee is done and I attack it, spilling more coffee on the counter as I do so. I'm a shabby mess today and swear I will never drink again. Goddamn Emmett!

I get myself cleaned up and prop my flagging energy with a ton of coffee and get to work. Working for Seth is pretty cool. He is pretty flexible with my hours and pays me a lot more than I was making. The work is generally just errands, grocery shopping, stuff like that, but sometimes it's really cool, like pre-reading his writing or meeting his agent. For someone who wants to write like me, it's a really cool opportunity. Plus he kind of reminds me of Edward in his social awkwardness.

I only have to work for a couple hours today, thankfully, because I still feel like garbage from drinking so much the night before. I am trying not to think about my bizarre interaction with Edward, either last night or this morning. Truthfully, I just don't know what to make of it, and some of it is ultra fuzzy because of my drunkenness. I definitely remember a moment where Edward got into the bed with me and I thought he was going to kiss me and then he told me to go to sleep. Wouldn't a guy think about kissing a girl he was in bed with? I mean, if he cares enough to take her home and get her into her pajamas and tuck her into bed, which is the most tenderly I think I've been treated since I was like 6, wouldn't a kiss be not out of the realm of possibility?

See, I can mindfuck myself about Edward's intentions for hour like this. That's why I try to not even start. And then his horror when Rose walked in the room? What was that?

I am getting off work when I get a call on my cell phone from my mom.

"I have the greatest news, Bella!" I am skeptical when she says that.

"What's up, Mom?"

"I'm coming up there for Thanksgiving! Phil wants to go to some fantasy baseball thing up there so we're going to fly up!"

"That's great, Mom." I really do think this is cool. I've only been able to see my Mom once since I moved up here and I've really missed her.

"I'm going to get to meet this boyfriend of yours, right?" OK, maybe not so great.

"Uh, yeah, Mom. I'm pretty sure he'll be spending Thanksgiving with his family."

"Well, that's why it's so great that we'll be there for a whole week! Oh, and I saw Jacob again last week. He said to say hi."

"Thanks, Mom. Yeah, I guess you'll get to meet Edward."

"I'm so excited!"

I, on the other hand, feel anxious. My Mom may be really flighty and whatever, but she's also pretty observant. If anyone is going to notice that Edward and I are a big sham, it's her. And then she'll be right back on that "Jake is really great/He's a changed man" bandwagon. Which would be OK except that a) I don't want Jake to know that all I have is a fake relationship and b) he will be sure to find out if my Mom knows. Cool. I guess I'm going to have to talk Edward into letting me stick my tongue down his throat or something in front of my Mom. In the most respectful and chaste way possible, of course.

**a/n: So I think I was having sweet-backlash from this story and I wrote this horrible, offensive o/s called "Turning the Tables". If you get sick of fluff you can check it out. It's kind of dirty, though. JuJu**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: Again, not the speediest of updates. Sorry, work continues to interfere with my leisure time. I won't abandon you. Promise. At least my beta, EverlastingMuse, sticks by me, despite my total discomfort with angst and my endless cock-blocking.**

**Edward:**

It's totally normal for a grown man to shriek and fling himself across the room when someone wakes him up unexpectedly, right?

I'm not that far gone that I don't know the right answer to this one. Which is why I find myself talking about what happened to me Saturday morning with Dr. Eleazar.

"So, what you're telling me Edward, is that you realized that you are in love with a woman that you can't even have a conversation with about either your intentions nor your childhood experiences?" All I can do is nod.

"That sounds like an uncomfortable place to be. Do you have any clue as to how to resolve it?" The nice thing about therapy with Dr. Eleazar when I was a kid was that he tended to be a little more directive. Now that I'm 27, he really wants me to come up with my own solutions; he calls it "empowering" me. I call it "hanging me out to dry."

"I feel like I would have to let her know about my…childhood issues before getting more seriously involved. I don't think that Bella would judge me because of them. She's too kind for that. I just can't imagine actually telling her about them myself. I'm worried that I'll get angry or freaked out and take it out on her. Could I get Esme to tell her? Would that be too weird?"

"It would be unconventional. I would feel more comfortable if you could tell her yourself, but you really don't need my permission to do anything, Edward." I'm pretty sure that's what I'm going to do. Sure it's weird but Bella and I are nothing but unconventional, right? Then I remind myself that I'm really trying to be a grown-up and not a gigantic freak, closet-case. So I guess I have to tell her.

No sooner do I make this decision that I leave Dr. Eleazar's office and hear someone call my name and look out to the parking lot to see Bella. Excellent timing. I could tell her that I'm damaged goods in the parking lot of my shrink's office, and then go in and cry to him when she runs from me screaming.

"What are you doing here?" She seems pleased to see me. I look over my shoulder to the board with all the offices listed on it. They are all therapists and psychiatrists. I guess she's never going to believe that I'm seeing my dentist.

"I'm, uh, my psychiatrist's office is here." A brief flash of surprise moves across her face replaced by a smile. "Yeah, Seth's shrink is here too." She gestures to an SUV in the parking lot. There's a dark-haired guy in the passenger seat having an animated conversation on his cell phone.

"He's talking to his sister. They have a tumultuous relationship." She smiles at me and I heave a sigh of relief that she doesn't seem stuck on the psychiatrist thing. Maybe I can do this, tell her the truth, I mean.

"So, I'm glad I saw you." I say. "Would you like to have dinner later? I have something I wanted to talk to you about." She looks at her feet for a second, looking embarrassed. "Yeah," she says. "That sounds great. I have to talk with you about something, too."

I have an instant feeling of dread at these words. It's just like when your parents tell you they need to talk to you and you assume that you did something wrong. She's probably going to break up with me. Can she break up with me if we're not really going out? Are we really going out? I am immediately tense about talking to her.

"OK, I'll pick you up at 7?" She nods and touches my arm as I walk past her to my car. Her boss is still having a high volume negotiation with the person on the other end of the phone so I don't try to introduce myself.

I am keyed up all afternoon and can't focus on anything but changing clothes compulsively, and trying to decide where to take Bella for dinner. I want to take her someplace really nice because I want to do everything right tonight, but it's a weeknight and I didn't tell her to dress fancy, and I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I finally make reservations at a Thai place I really like and then pace back and forth in my room for the next hour.

I pick her up at 6:55, because I am compulsive like that, and we drive in near silence to the restaurant. When we are seated in a somewhat quiet corner, I look at her expectantly. "Do you want to go first?" I hope I come off as being gentlemanly. I really hope she'll take me up on it. If she's going to end our non-relationship, I want her to do it before I spill my guts about my jacked-up childhood. Unfortunately, she demurs, shaking her head and looking down, so I am forced to go ahead with it.

I take a deep breath and look down at my hands, which I've decided to wring compulsively.

"So, you know that I see a psychiatrist and that I was adopted, like Alice and Emmett, right?" She nods at me, big-eyed and earnest. "So, I didn't get adopted until I was older, older than Alice and Emmett, I mean." I am looking down at my hands again and I am terrified to talk to her about this. I have never talked about this stuff with anyone outside my family and Dr. Eleazar. But she's so kind. I know that she won't judge me, I just can't help being intimidated talking about this stuff. I take another deep breath.

"My parents, my biological parents, did drugs. A lot. They weren't really great parents. There was a lot of yelling and fighting and sometimes they left me alone at home for a long time. They didn't beat me or molest me or anything, but they didn't take good care of me. It took a long time for anyone to do anything about it, though, and I didn't get taken away from them until they both got arrested at the same time for possession. I was 7 years old. I got placed with some foster families but I had problems with my temper and stealing and stuff. They put me in a group home for a while." I pause and look up at her. She is looking at me so tenderly, I have to believe that she cares about me. It is encouraging and I continue.

"I got into a lot of fights. Sometimes with boys that were bigger and tougher than me. I met Carlisle in the emergency room after getting my hand broken punching a kid in the skull a bunch of times. Smart, huh?" I laugh drily and she forces a smile. "I guess he saw something in me because he and Esme came to see me the next week at the home. They fought with my social worker to foster me, she didn't think it would work out and was opposed to it. I guess she thought she could get them to take an easier kid. When the courts realized that my parents couldn't meet the terms of reunification, Carlisle and Esme adopted me. That wasn't until I was 13, though."

"I was a total nightmare, though. They already had Alice and Emmett and I would threaten and bully them. I stole from them. I hid food, I tormented neighbor's kids, I was awful. You can't even imagine." I look at Bella. She has a tiny smile on her face, and I wince because I realize what she must be thinking. "I guess maybe you can. You've seen some of that side of me." We laugh and she reaches out and puts her hand over mine. I continue to talk, but I don't want to so much as twitch my fingers, for fear she will remove her hand from mine.

"I was even worse at school. I got in fights constantly. Esme and Carlisle had to come get me from school at least once a week in elementary school. Then, when I was in middle school I got expelled. The district wanted to send me to a special school for kids like me with behavior problems. Esme was worried that I would just pick up more bad habits, so she quit her job and homeschooled me."

"I owe my life to Esme. She taught me how to play the piano, she tutored me in everything but math. I was really good at math, as it turned out, so she hired a tutor from the university's math department. He taught me about computers, too. I started seeing Dr. Eleazar. Mostly I just hung out with Esme, though. She put up with my temper, my threats, for 2 years. In return, she just loved me. She told me constantly how much she loved me, how smart I was, how everything was going to be OK." I am almost in tears, which is unlike me, so I pause to catch my breath. Bella squeezes my hand and I look at her with gratitude. This is emotional but easier than I thought it would be.

"After a couple years, I was ready to go back to school. I had the fighting and stuff out of my system, but it really has never been easy for me to get along with people. Ben was pretty much my only friend outside of Alice and Emmett. When I turned 18, I told my parents I wasn't going to see a shrink anymore. I decided I didn't need it. But really, I still have a lot of problems with my temper and feeling like I don't have control of situations. As you might have guessed." I give her a wry smile. She looks like she might cry and, feeling emboldened, put my other hand on top of our clasped hands so I can hold her hand in between mine.

"I…I really appreciate you telling me all this, Edward. It must be really hard for you to talk about, but it makes some things clearer for me. I understand you more." Her voice is a little shaky and she looks a little nervous. Is she really going to split up with me after I spilled my guts like this?

"Yeah, I thought you should know that when I blow my top, it's not really about you, it's really my stuff, you know." The waitress brings our food and we start to pick at the food but I am almost nauseous, I'm so anxious about what she's going to say.

"Ok, your turn." I give her a fake smile. She swallows and stares at her pumpkin curry.

"It's just, um, my mom, Renee, is coming up for Thanksgiving and she wants to meet you. I told her that you were my boyfriend." I stare at her. I would be annoyed if I weren't so relieved. She got nervous about me meeting her mom when I spilled about my fucked up parents and juvenile record? I got myself all worked up about that for nothing?

"Yeah, of course, Bella. I'd be happy to meet your mom. You've met my parents." She still looks nervous and I can tell that she hasn't told me the whole story.

"Um, it's just that Renee thinks that we are in an actual relationship, like where people, um, kiss and stuff. And she's really observant. Flaky, but observant about stuff like that. So, you might have to…um, make out with me or whatever."

Is she joking? I'm so simultaneously excited and shocked by her revelation that I'm sure I stare at her with my mouth open for like an hour. Then I manage to close my mouth, breath some oxygen and respond.

"I think I can manage that."

**a/n: Thanks for the love! I'll try to work less this week so I can update sooner. **


	35. Chapter 35

**a/n: Rosalie bullied me into giving up a chapter for her. I'm kind of a push-over. EverlastingMuse beta-ed it and S.M. owns it. **

**Rosalie: **

My brother says that I'm unforgiving. I prefer to think of myself as decisive. Once people show themselves to be untrustworthy I don't hold a grudge, I just don't give them another chance to take advantage of me. It worked well for me when Susan Campbell stole my Barbie in fourth grade and it continues to work well for me now.

Which brings me to Emmett Cullen. He had his chance and he blew it. There are plenty of other guys out there. Sure, he's hot and all, but he's a child, not a serious romantic prospect. He doesn't give up, though. The last month he has financed the college education of several Seattle florist's children and spent more money on gifts for me than many of my real boyfriends have. He doesn't get that I don't change my mind, ever.

I walk by Emmett's latest floral arrangement as I get ready to go to the bank. It's gracing the counter in my kitchen. I have given up on throwing the flowers out. It seemed like such a waste.

I had an appointment to discuss a loan for the shelter to repair the water damage on the first floor and I was feeling discouraged. Having to take out this loan just to fix damage would set me back on my goals to expand. Unfortunately, I had a limited amount of collateral for a loan and fundraising just had never been my strength, so I needed to keep the loan payments manageable. But I'd rather be taking out a loan to make progress than just be treading water.

I put my best "impress people" suit on and drive down to First Bank of Seattle. It's a good-looking suit for all its stuffiness and I get a lot of admiring glances. It's too bad I'm not looking to date a banker. It could really help me out in this particular situation.

I take a seat in the lobby and look again at the proposal I'd put together for the bank. I had turned a copy in with my loan application, but I want to make sure I know my figures. I'm hoping that the bid I got from the contractor is good. I didn't have a chance to get a second opinion and I'm not as familiar with this contractor as I'd like to be so I don't know if this is the best bid I could get.

"Ms. Hale? Would you like to come with me?" I look up to see a young woman in business attire standing at the end of the reception area. I smile and get up to follow her. She leads me down a hallway of glass-walled offices. I straighten my jacket and catch my reflection in the mirror. It can't help to look good when asking for something, right?

The woman stops at an office and gestures for me to go in. I put on my most dazzling smile and walk into the office to see…_Emmett fucking Cullen_. You've got to be kidding me!

"Is this some kind of joke?" Emmett gets up out of his chair and gestures for me to sit down, laughing.

"Hi, Rosalie," Emmett is actually angling the chair as if to make it more attractive for me to sit in. "Would you rather I call you Ms. Hale?"

I am still standing just inside the doorway with my arms crossed. "Are you kidding me, Emmett? You expect me to do this with you?"

Emmett sighs and sits down on his desk. "Ms. Hale, you applied for a loan at this bank, right?" I nod, skeptically. "I am a loan officer in this bank." He hands me his business card. It says "Emmett Cullen, Corporate Loans".

"Corporate Loans? My loan is small potatoes. Why are you handling it?"

"We don't have a non-profit division and it's not a personal loan. Plus, providing favorable loan terms to worthy non-profits increases our value to our corporate partners. Honestly, Ms. Hale, I've worked in this division for 3 years. I generally keep my private and professional lives separate. I didn't go into banking, get a job in corporate loans and a job at this bank just because I knew you'd need a loan and I could leverage a date out of it. I'm smart, not psychic."

I can't help but laugh at his reasoning, and I sit down. "OK, Mr. Cullen, but I'm trusting you to be professional." He slides into his seat and gives me a smile. "Thank you, Ms. Hale."

He opens the file in front of him. "I am seeing that you are applying for a loan to repair a portion of the building at 2110 Harrisburg in Seattle. I took the liberty of making a call to the chair of your board this weekend, Susan Anderson. She mentioned that you had explored the possibility of making substantial renovations to this property, including the area that needs to be repaired, less than a year ago."

I look at him curiously. He's certainly done his homework, but I'll be damned if I let him talk me into a bigger loan than is financially viable. "Yes, I do have long-term plans for expansion but the current budget will make a loan of that size impossible."

"I'd like to encourage you to take out the larger loan. Since you have to work on that part of the house anyway, it seems fiscally irresponsible not to do the work now. It would be a waste of money as well as a greater inconvenience for your clients, since they live where considerable work is being done."

I am definitely looking at Emmett Cullen differently, who knew he even knew words like "fiscally"?

"The bank is prepared to offer you a subsidized loan, one in which we pay the interest, in exchange for certain terms." I look at him skeptically. "None of which involves dating me," he hurries to add with a smile.

"I don't have sufficient collateral for a larger loan."

"The property itself is sufficient collateral with your agreement to our terms."

"What are your terms?" I am torn between my excitement at getting the expansion funded and dread at selling my soul to Emmett Cullen.

"You don't have a significant fundraising presence. You don't even have a website. You need at least a part-time fundraiser, whose salary we will provide for in the loan and you need a website. You have a worthy cause that many people would love to support but you have no visibility. You've been making things hard on yourself."

All I can do now is stare at Emmett. Who knew he was so smart? He has certainly done his homework and as daunting as all this is, having someone smart thinking about these issues that I've been grappling with alone is really exciting.

"I…I don't know what to say, Emmett. I appreciate all your help and your suggestions are really good ones." He smiles at me and pulls a card out of the file in front of him.

"I'm glad, Rosalie," he looks at me questioning, to see if the name is OK. I nod and smile at him. "I think that you should get another bid on the project. The old bid is nearly a year old and it's good to get another opinion. I have a name of a contractor that does a lot of work with non-profits and churches, so he's trustworthy and he'll understand your budget constraints." He hands me the card. "I would also like to tour the property, at your convenience, of course."

"Of course, Emmett. And I'll place an ad for a fundraiser." Emmett frowns slightly.

"Actually, Rosalie, I'd like to see you hold off on that until the first of the year. We've generated some ideas here internally for people to approach for donations and I think we can keep you in the black for a while, if you're amenable. I'd really like you to concentrate on the expansion and arranging some of the services you'll be able to offer."

"Sure." I'm relieved that he said that. I feel like I'm going to be pretty busy for the next few months just managing the expansion and shifting clients around the construction. It is a relief to not have to get on the fundraiser thing yet.

Emmett and I work out a few more details and we agree on a time for him to tour the building later in the week. There is a nagging feeling in my stomach that I have just made a deal with a man that I viewed as a total loser just hours before. I guess he was really right about separating his personal and professional lives. I just have to make sure to keep him on that professional footing so I don't see a return of the other Emmett. He is handsome, though. I am reminded of why I was attracted to him in the first place. Stop that, Rose!

It was in a much-improved mood that I invited my brother up for dinner that night. Poor Jasper, he is struggling so much with everything. He's in law school, which should be great, but he hates it. Then there's Alice. He really wants to not like her, with her credit cards and her "superficial" interests, but he's crazy about her. He's so confused and he just can't get over his preconceived notions about what should be good for him, what he should enjoy. Poor thing.

So I'm telling him about my meeting at the bank with Emmett Cullen and how I just might have to adjust my judgment when it comes to him when there's a knock at my door.

I open the door to see Edward Cullen. He's standing there like the prettiest closet-case in the world, which he pretty much is. I adore Bella but she and this shut-down weirdo really kill me. I mean, clearly they adore each other and live in their own freaked-out heads too much to do anything about it. I try to stay hands-off as much as possible, because there's something about Edward that reminds me of some of the children I work with, something in his eyes that just looks damaged and scared and _little. _I figure they'll get it together eventually or they'll just explode from hormones or something.

He's holding a dry-cleaner bag with a dress in it. I hope this doesn't set off Jasper's rant about Alice's acquisitiveness.

"Come on in, Edward. How are you?" I invite him in and he steps in hesitantly.

"I hope I'm not intruding, I was hoping to drop off a dress for Bella. We've got another investor's party on Friday." I take the dress and walk him into the kitchen, where he and Jasper greet each other.

"Can I get you something to eat? Jasper and I were just eating dinner." He takes a seat and waves a hand dismissively.

"No, thanks. I ate already." He looks at me nervously and clears his throat. "So, uh, Rosalie, I was hoping I could ask you a favor?"

"Of course, Edward. What's up?"

"I have a few students who have to build a website for their final project and they are having some trouble finding appropriate clients. I was wondering if you'd be willing to let them build a website for your shelter. It would be a tremendous favor to me and I assure you that it would be very professional. I would be supervising them, of course." He looks at me hesitantly.

"Edward, have you been talking to Emmett?" I narrow my eyes at him, playfully. He chokes out a laugh.

"Yeah, I did, but I checked it out with Bella and Alice before I asked you. I wanted to make sure it was legitimate." He smiles at me.

"I would really appreciate your students help with this, Edward. It sounds like a great opportunity for us. But I have to say, your brother doesn't do his job half-way. Does he pay this much attention to all his clients?"

Edward looks at me sheepishly. "He probably feels like he has something to prove. Which he does. He's good at what he does, though."

"I envy him having something that he loves to do." Jasper interjects, feeling sorry for himself.

"Oh, he doesn't love it. In fact, he's been talking about changing careers." Edward picks a roll out of the basket on the table. I realize that it's nice to see him relaxing a little.

"Really?" Jasper asks. Edward nods. "Yeah, he got into banking because he thought it would be schmoozy and fun but I think he wants to do something with more meaning." Jasper and I both look at Edward with shock.

"More meaning? Emmett?" I put my fork down. Edward pours himself a glass of juice. He takes a sip and nods again.

"Yeah, Carlisle and Esme are big proponents of doing meaningful work and we've all kind of let them down. Emmett's been talking about how unsatisfying banking is for a while and I wouldn't be surprised if he starts doing something else. Alice, too." He looks at Jasper carefully. "She's, uh, questioning her lifestyle a bit lately." All of a sudden he seems uneasy again.

"I should get going. I appreciate your help and the food." He holds up his half a roll and smiles. "I'll get in touch with you about that student team, Rosalie. Later, Jasper." He grins at us and walks to the door, hunching his shoulders slightly as he slips out and down the stairs.

All I can do is stare at Jasper for a second and then I laugh. Jasper gives me a weak smile. I hope he's starting to feel a little less sorry for himself. I know I said that nobody gets a second chance but it's my rule so I can make exceptions, right?


	36. Chapter 36

**a/n: I forget all the time to mention my lack of ownership of Twilight. I can't possibly forget the awesomeness of my beta, EverLasting Muse, however.**

**Bella:**

Edward and I have reached an interesting, unspoken arrangement whereby I try not to be too offended when he does something rude or demanding and he pretends that I'm not completely, insanely insecure.

I have a lot of these moments leading up to my mother's visit. I'm incredibly anxious about having my mother come here and scrutinize my life. She's well meaning, but she adored Jacob and she feels like I could have tried harder to hold onto him. While we were together, she pushed me to be more "adventurous", by which she meant sexy, and she instigated a lot of uncomfortable conversations with me about stuff I should do to "keep my man happy". So, of course, when Jacob cheated on me and dumped me she felt vindicated.

I don't mean to make her sound heartless; she's my mother and she loves me. She felt badly for me and tried to comfort me when it happened, but I know that it was a disappointment for her. Not to mention her husband, Phil. Having his stepdaughter date a big-time college football player gave him a certain amount of status and he was sorry to see that end. I'm almost positive Jacob and he stay in touch to this day. Justified, no doubt, by the sports/testosterone bond that men have that makes familial loyalty null and void. God that sounded bitter!

So, I am preparing for my Thankgiving convince-Renee-that-my-life-is-awesome-fest and Charlie is cooperating for once and agrees to come to Seattle to my place instead of me driving out to Forks. All the better to convince my mom that I have a handsome boyfriend and friends and stuff here.

I explain the "handsome boyfriend" part of my plan to Edward, without the Jacob sob story and he blushes. He's sitting at my kitchen table playing with a napkin while I fuss around my living room. I have one week to get ready for having Thanksgiving at my place, and I'm a little anxious.

"I'm happy to oblige, Bella. You've done the same for me many times. I'm looking forward to meeting your parents. I just don't understand why you're so worried about impressing your mom. I mean, she's your mom. She should just accept that you're happy here and be happy for you, right?" He frowns for a moment. "You are happy here, right?"

He looks so insecure for a minute that I don't tell him that I'd be more pleased if we had an authentic romance and not a friendly agreement.

"Yeah, what's not to like?" I go back to trying to rearrange the books on my bookshelves in the living room. Jasper and I have a lot of books and it's hard to make the apartment look stylish with our gigantic library on our student, mismatched bookshelves.

"You know, if you're insecure about how the apartment looks, we could always do Thanksgiving dinner at my place. You know, I mean, my parents place." Edward winces and it occurs to me that he's embarrassed about living with his parents. I guess it is weird at 27 but if I had parents like Esme and Carlisle, I'd probably live with them, too. They are pretty cool.

"No, that might look weird. Thanks, though." I try to look critically at the couch. It's kind of old and we have covered it with an afghan my grandma made and some Indonesian embroidered pillows Jasper got from some store where the proceeds benefit village industries or something. It's a little funky. Normally I am really comfortable here, but I find myself second-guessing everything when I try to look at it through Renee's eyes.

Jasper comes in the front door with his giant bag of books and a tired look on his face. The face has become a common occurrence. He is in a funk these days.

"Hey, Jasper. How's the legal world treating you?" I frown and shake my head at Edward to try to stop him before he can get this question out. Jasper blows a frustrated puff of air out.

"Law school sucks, dude. Sucks." He shakes his head and drops his bag of books outside his bedroom door.

"Hey, Jasper, let me get you some tea or something." I turn the burner on under the teapot and try to find something that looks decent in Jasper's collection of free-trade, loose-leaf teas. Ugh.

"Thanks. I'm going to do some work out in the shop. Do you mind bringing it out?" Jasper has this amateur woodshop set up in the garage of the house. I think it's relaxing for him to work out there. I've noticed that he's spending more time out there and less time studying for his classes.

"Sure, no problem." I watch as he walks back out. Edward looks at me with chagrin.

"I'm sorry. I had no idea." Edward is twisting his hands together. "He seems really upset."

"Yeah, he just hates law school and doesn't know what else to do. Plus the Alice thing." Edward frowns. "I'm sorry." I say. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable by talking about your sister. I would never say anything disrespectful about Alice."

"Oh, no, it's not that." Edward waves a hand dismissively. "I know you and Alice are friends. I just don't understand what the problem is with them. They like each other, right?"

I nod and continue trying to fluff the pillows on the couch in a way that makes them look good. "Yeah, they just have different…ideas about stuff, I guess. Alice is really into making things look good and she has money to spend to do it. I guess it could come off as being shallow. And Jasper is really into not being a consumer and influenced by money and appearances. I think it's just backlash against his parents or something. Anyway, I guess Jasper saw the room of shoes or heard about it and is having a hard time justifying liking Alice and her having different values about stuff."

"Well, Alice could compromise." Edward says. "She can be kind of shallow. And she doesn't need a room of shoes. It just started as a joke because we had that bedroom with two big closets."

"I think that Jasper was probably just not very diplomatic and Alice got offended. They're both just being stubborn. What a waste of time, huh?"

Edward looks at me for a second before nodding and I swear he's going to say something else when the whistle on the kettle starts going off. I put Jasper's gross tea leaves in a ball and find some cookies to go with them. I decide to tell him that they're vegan.

"I'm going to take this out to Jasper. I'll be right back." Edward gets up.

"Is it OK if I come with you? I want to see his shop."

"Sure. Just don't mention the "A" name or law school, OK?" Edward smiles and nods. We walk out the back door of the kitchen to the detached garage in the backyard. Jasper has a little woodshop set up back there where he refinishes old furniture. He's been working a lot on what he calls "repurposing"; taking old wooden stuff, parts of discarded construction debris and broken furniture and turning it into other stuff. He has turned old doors into coffee tables, parts of abandoned furniture into shelves and is currently working on making a bed out of half of an old wooden boat. It's pretty cool stuff if you like old things.

Edward looks around in wonder at the finished items in the shop.

"Jasper, this stuff is really beautiful. How did you learn how to do this?"

Jasper smiles. 'My grandpa did wood working as a hobby and he taught me a lot of it. I got the idea for using old stuff from just seeing how much really pretty old moldings and perfectly usable wood gets thrown out."

"What do you do with it? Do you sell it?"

"No, I mostly just give it away to friends and stuff. There's a few pieces at the shelter and I'm going to give Rose this table." He gestures to a huge table over to the side of the shed. It's made from pieces of some really heavy wood and Jasper has fit them together in a way that the irregular finishes look really interesting together. He evened out the top, but has left the bottom and edges of the table unmatched. There's no more than an inch of difference between the pieces but it gives it a rustic, warm look.

"It's beautiful. I bet you could fit twelve people comfortably." Edward has a slight smile on his face like he's thinking something he's not sharing, but he changes the subject quickly to ask about another piece, and we end up staying in the shop for a while. It's really nice to see Jasper so happy. It's something I haven't seen much of since I've lived with him.

Edward and I go back into the house eventually and I start making a list of stuff I need for Thanksgiving dinner.

"You know, with all this talk about Renee we really haven't talked much about your dad. Should I be frightened about dating the police chief's daughter? Does he carry his service revolver all the time?"

I laugh, nervously, because really, Edward has no idea how lucky he got with Carlisle and Esme. Charlie probably will bring his service revolver to Thanksgiving dinner but I don't want to tell Edward that.

"Charlie will be a little stern with you but he'll be so busy glaring at Renee's new husband that I think you'll get off easy." I am really just now realizing what an enormous cluster-fuck this holiday is going to end up being. I just hope Edward can keep up his whole "human being" act for the next week.

"Maybe I can get Emmett to come and attract a bunch of negative attention. Maybe bring that girl he was dating or something." I laugh but clearly Edward can see my anxiety because he looks at me with a kind smile and reassures me; "It'll be OK, Bella. We'll get through it." He gets up and walks over to where I am trying to move things around to hide Jasper's Che Guevera poster. He puts his hand on my shoulder and looks down at me with his serious, earnest face. I want to cry from the overwhelm but I laugh instead and say: "It's nice to spend time together like this; talking about other people being dysfunctional, huh?"

Edward laughs and nods. "I need to pinch myself. I haven't screwed up in at least two days. It must be a dream." We laugh and he moves over to the offending couch, messing up where I had the pillows arranged perfectly. It doesn't really bother me.


	37. Chapter 37

**a/n: EverlastingMuse betas this mess, God bless her!**

**Edward:**

Dr. Eleazar and I have a lively, but cordial discussion as to my impulse to "arrange" things for Bella. I find myself planning, in meticulous detail, things to make life easier for her. I take a great deal of joy in doing so, but I am a stellar patient, so of course I discuss these things with him.

To be brief, my most recent plan involves arranging for Rosalie to let Bella use her apartment for her Thanksgiving dinner. It seems like an innocuous arrangement which Bella would be afraid to ask for herself. Rosalie's apartment is bigger and less crowded with the belongings of two full-time students. She will be at the shelter for the holiday so she had no objections. I arranged for Jasper's table to be moved upstairs so it could be used for the meal and for Rosalie's apartment to be cleaned for the occasion.

Dr. Eleazar argued that while all this was thoughtful and acceptable, it would have been preferable to have consulted Bella about these things. I argued that she seemed to have enough things to worry about, between her impending finals and her mother's visit. Honestly, I feel terrible that she has to have so much anxiety about a visit from her mother. Add to this the stress that she must have having such a nebulous relationship with someone as difficult as myself, and I felt as if she would appreciate someone taking some of these things off her shoulders.

Dr. Eleazar just warned me that she may not appreciate it as much as I assumed, that some people like being "kept in the loop". We agreed to disagree.

A few days before Thanksgiving, just a month until Christmas I find myself in the curious position of having little to do but wait and worry. My doctoral project is complete, my rounds of interviews are done. I have chosen not to apply for other positions until I hear about the one in my department. I know it's foolish, but I can afford to live for a semester or two while I deal with my disappointment if I don't get the position, which will surely be necessary.

If I get the position the first person I will tell will be Bella, right before I tell her I'm in love with her and thank her for her extraordinary patience and ask her to be my girlfriend. And then try to cash in on some girlfriend benefits.

If I don't get the position, I will…well, I'm not going to think about that horrible possibility yet.

Bella is pleasantly surprised when I share the plans I made for her Thanksgiving dinner, so pleased that she invites Alice and my parents because she has the extra room in Rosalie's apartment. She invites Emmett as well but it turns out he is volunteering at a local women's shelter. I swear, I don't even know my brother anymore.

Bella's extremely busy in the days before Thanksgiving, what with the arrival of her mother and stepfather and preparing for the holiday so I assume nothing is amiss when I don't hear from her.

However, I miss her so I break down and call her the Tuesday before her dinner. I don't have the courage to invite myself over and I know she's busy so I ask if there's anything I can help her with.

Her voice sounds strangely tense when she answers. "No, my guests have arrived and I think I have all the _help_ I can handle. Thanks, though. I'll see you Thursday?"

I agree and let her get off the phone, wondering what that was about. I guess I'll find out on Thanksgiving.

Alice, my parents and I drive over to Bella's on Thanksgiving. I can tell Alice is feeling tense about seeing Jasper but my parents are really excited. They really like Bella and I'm guessing Esme is excited about someone else cooking for Thanksgiving for a change.

I can hear the television from outside the door, clearly someone is watching one of the endless football games that air on Thanksgiving. Bella's step-dad? I can hear a woman's voice rising over the top of it.

The door swings open to reveal a woman who must be Bella's mom. She is small, with shoulder length brown hair and a friendly face. She has pale blue eyes surrounded by crinkles that get deeper as she smiles. She's quite tan and I find myself wondering if Bella was tanner when she lived in Arizona.

"Hi! You must be the Cullen's. I'm Renee, Bella's mom. Come in." Renee steps away from the door and we walk in. The place looks really good. In addition to Jasper's beautiful, huge dining table, he has moved in a matching coffee table and someone has placed flowers around the apartment.

I see a man in his thirties, presumably Phil, her stepdad, sitting in the living room watching television and eating some cheese and crackers. We make our introductions and Carlisle sits down with Phil. Alice has been pretty quiet, but then I realize that she has noticed the table, just as I had hoped.

I walk over to her and gesture to the table. "Beautiful, huh? Jasper made it." Alice raises her eyebrows at me. "Really? It's amazing. I bet he could sell this stuff."

"That's what I told him. I'm going to go find Bella." I wander back towards the kitchen to find her. My mom has already made it back there and she is walking back out with Bella and…a large, dark-haired man with his arm around her and a huge white smile. She sees me and freezes. The man stops and looks up at me without a break in his smile.

"Edward." She smiles at me, blushing. "I'm glad you're here. I want you to meet Jake. Jake, this is my boyfriend Edward." I extend my hand, grinning back at him.

"Edward. A pleasure." Jake takes my hand and tries to do the manly, hurt-your-hand squeeze. What the hell? Jake? Her ex-boyfriend? Bella catches my eye and makes a face behind his back. She rolls her eyes to the ceiling and does a mock exhale to tell me that this was not her idea.

We men all sit around in the living room watching football. I pretend to know what is happening. Jake and Phil talk football, college sports, mutual acquaintances and a bunch of other stuff I can't follow. Carlisle is able to make sense of what they say enough to participate, but my eyes keep going to the kitchen where Bella has disappeared with our moms and my sister. Uncomfortable doesn't even begin to describe it.

Finally, dinner is served and I am relieved to be able to talk to her. Except that Bella's mom won't shut up about some goddamn show she's been watching on HBO and Jake has managed to secure the seat next to Bella at the table, and he keeps talking about shared experiences. I think about yelling: "Remember the time he dumped you? Good times, huh Bella?" but don't want to embarrass her.

Alice asks where Jasper is and Bella and Esme smile at each other. Bella smiles and says: "Oh, Jasper calls Thanksgiving "Indigenous People's Genocide Day" and he refuses to celebrate it. He's hiking with some friends."

Phil laughs. "I guess that's not what Charlie's doing, huh?" He looks at Jake and Renee to laugh at his joke. It's just then that I realize that Bella's dad isn't there yet. I was so off-balance from Jake's presence, that I forgot to notice that there wasn't a small town police chief glaring at me.

"Where is your father?" I ask Bella.

"He ended up having to work. I'll see him at Christmas."

"I haven't seen Charlie in forever." Jake exclaims while I glare at him. I know he's just trying to rub it in that he knows Bella's dad but really? He broke up with her. That's why he hasn't seen Charlie! Bella tries to be polite, but I can tell she is feeling tense.

"It's too bad you missed each other." Renee says, because apparently she's the devil. "Maybe at Christmas."

"You're coming back for Christmas?" slips out of my mouth before I can stop it. Jake chuckles at my discomfort.

"Thinking about it. I like it up here." he says to me, with a glance at Bella. I fume quietly at him.

Dinner continues in this fucked up vein, with me and Jake lobbing dirty looks at each other, Renee slobbering on him and ignoring me, my family making nice with Bella and Renee and Phil shoveling in food.

Finally, Bella gets up to clear some dishes and I leap out of my seat to follow her. We get into the kitchen and turning her face away from the table, which still has a view of our backs, she mouths "sorry" to me. My mood lightens immediately. I know that she is as uncomfortable as I am, if not more so. I rub her arm comfortingly and help her cut pieces of pumpkin pie for people. She turns on the burner to heat up water for tea and we enjoy a little bit of time together, even with the intense scrutiny coming from the table. I take plates with pie out to people while she moves around the kitchen. I can see Jake glaring at me and Renee scrutinizing us. I decide that now would be a good time to deliver on my end of the deal.

Bella is facing me about a foot away from the stove where she is waiting for the water to boil. I walk over to her carefully and say her name softly.

She looks at me in surprise as I lean down to kiss her. She tastes like cranberries and her lips feel so soft and before I realize it I am still moving forward into her, clutching her face in my hands and pressing harder against her lips. She is surprised by my actions, though and stretches her hand out to feel for the stove behind her even as her other hand comes up to touch my chest.

Her lips against mine and her hand on my chest feel great. Heavenly. Exquisite.

Too bad her other hand comes down on the hot stove. At which point she shrieks and everyone, and I mean everyone, comes running into the kitchen.

So much for a first kiss.


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: Once Jasper and Rosalie got their own chapters I just had to give Alice and Emmett their turn. Sorry about the wait, between the Giants making the playoffs and other non-essentials like work I've been a little busy.**

**So, I take weeks to write this and EverlastingMuse turns it around in like 3 seconds! She's got your back!**

**Alice:**

I would love to watch my brother kiss Bella into a stove and laugh, thinking about how dysfunctional he is. The truth is, stove-shaped burn on his girl's hand or not, my brother finally found the motivation to get his shit together. Next thing you know he's got a therapist, control over his temper and a quasi-normal relationship with someone he really cares about. You know what comes next? He's going to move out of mom and dad's place, maintain a healthy relationship and make Emmett and I look bad.

You see, as long as Edward, the oldest, lives at home and behaves like an adolescent, it kind of gives Emmett and me an excuse. We don't have to think about growing up and acting and behaving like adults as long as we can point a finger at Edward and say: "At least I'm not as bad as him!"

Still, I feel like I need to help my brother out of this mess. I mean, he's sitting at the table, tapping his foot and trying to determine what's happening in the kitchen with Bella and Dad. In the meantime, Bella's big, smarmy ex-boyfriend is capitalizing on the fact that her mom and step-dad seem to like him by refusing to allow them to even interact with Edward. He's monopolizing their attention with some lame story about when he played college football. I decide to do my big brother a favor help him get the upper hand.

"Hey, Edward, can you get me some ice from Bella's place? I think we're out and Carlisle may want some." Edward, happy to get out of the room, agrees and goes downstairs. I pull up a seat between Renee and Jacob and give Renee a conspiratorial grin.

"Aren't they cute? Bella just adores him." Renee looks at me skeptically and I nod, gushing: "I think Eddie wants them to get a place together next semester. Did Bella tell you he's getting a position on the faculty? I don't know how he manages that and the company he's starting, but he's such a hard worker. It's not like he needs the money." I turn to Jacob. "What is it you do again, Jack?"

He winces. "It's Jake. I'm, uh, in sales."

"Oh, what do you sell?" I can tell he's uncomfortable. He looks at Renee who has been rendered speechless for once. "I sell cars."

"What kind? I know Edward's been looking to get a new car for Bella. That truck of hers is an antique!" Jacob coughs uncomfortably and says: "I sell used cars."

"Oh." I let my voice drop in disappointment and turn back to Renee. Clapping my hand over my mouth dramatically I say: "Oh my God! Don't tell Bella about the car! It's supposed to be a surprise for Christmas! I wasn't supposed to tell! Promise me you won't."

Renee nods. "Of course not, Alice. I didn't realize that Bella and Edward were so serious. How long have they been together?"

I lean in as if to tell a big secret. "Well, it's only been a few months but it was really love at first sight, you know?" I wink at Renee who smiles. Just then Edward comes in with a big bowl of ice.

"Do you think this will be enough?" He looks anxiously at the bowl. "I can go get more?" I take the bowl and smile at him.

"It's perfect, Edward. Why don't you take it into Bella?" Edward looks at me in relief and goes into the kitchen. I watch over the island separating the dining room from the kitchen as Bella smiles at him from where she's sitting on the kitchen counter. He leans on the counter next to her and I can see her reassuring him that she's fine as he rubs his head with embarrassment.

"I think we should leave them alone, don't you?" I smile slyly at Renee and pull on Jacob's arm. He's clearly reluctant to listen to me but Renee gives him a look and goes off to gather up her things and collect her husband.

As I usher everyone out of the apartment, I glance back at the kitchen where Edward is doing the dishes as Bella chatters away at him from her perch on the counter. I give myself a mental pat on the back. Driving home with my folks, I get a little sad thinking about how good I am at helping Eddie and Bella while my own life was such a Sahara.

For example, I don't like school. I can't decide on a major and it feels like I'm wasting my time. Except that I met Bella, I can't think of a single advantage to studying Comparative Religion and Algebra and European History when what I want to do is what Esme does, help people decorate their homes and offices. No reason whatsoever except that everyone goes to college, especially everyone I know.

I think for the thousandth time that I know my mom wouldn't think ill of me if I dropped out. It's just that dropping out and going to work with your parents makes me sound like such a loser.

I am getting depressed as we get home, thinking about this stuff, so I sit in my happy place, my room of shoes, and try to think about pretty things. I find myself thinking about that beautiful table that Jasper made.

Jasper. There's another thing to be depressed about. I have the biggest crush in the world on that man, but every time I'm around him I mess it up with petty things. I mean, I can't help it if the man's a communist and I like to shop. Can't we just put that stuff aside?

I get frustrated and sad again so I go back to thinking about that table. You could do so much with something like that in an office or a home. It occurs to me that there is probably a great market for that kind of stuff, given how popular ecologically friendly products and services are…

I suddenly find myself in a position to pat myself on the back for the second time today. I have a great idea that will solve a bunch of problems. I just have a bunch of work and a reluctant partner to convince first. I look around my room of shoes and then I get to work.

It takes me two days to get ready to go see Jasper, but I feel like my plan is air-tight by the time I show up on Saturday afternoon. I find out from Bella when a good time to ambush him is, and I appear late afternoon with a chai tea and all my data in a fancy green file folder.

"Hi, Alice." Jasper blinks at me in surprise when he comes to the door. He looks tired and his hair is mussed like he's been running his hands through it. Bella told me that he would probably be studying and late afternoon would be the perfect time to catch him at his greatest point of frustration with law school.

"Hi, Jasper." I hand him the tea and walk past him into the apartment. "I have something I need to talk to you about." I walk over to the kitchen table and close his book. I push it aside, place my file folder in front of me and folded my hands together on the table. Jasper looks at me in surprise for a minute and then he comes and sits down across from me.

"What do we need to talk about?" He looks at me uncertainly. I give him a confident smile.

"Well, I'm starting a business and you're going to be my partner." I drop the bombshell and wait for Jasper to absorb it. He stares at me for a moment, looks at his law books scattered around the table where I'm sitting and then back at me.

"Ok." he says and smiles. I pause, all my arguments on the tip of my tongue. I didn't expect him to agree so quickly.

"But…You don't even know what I want to do? You said 'Ok' without even hearing the details?" I was feeling very poised and now his grin is unsettling me. "What if I'm talking about…smashing kittens or something?" Jasper laughs.

"Is it?" he asks.

"No, but you don't…Oh, never mind. Just come with me, I'm going to show you." I get up, grabbing my folder. Jasper grabs a jacket off of the back of the sofa and we go out to my car.

"Do you want to know where we're going?" I ask him, amazed that he's not arguing with me or asking any questions. Jasper and I never get along like this.

"Do you want to tell me?" Jasper asks, settling his long legs into my tiny car.

"I'm just a little surprised by your lack of resistance." Jasper pushes his hair out of his eyes and sighs.

"Alice, I hate law school. Hate it. At this point you could ask me to transport porta-potties and I'd be enthused." I laugh. No wonder this is so easy!

"I was feeling the same way as you. So, I decided that I needed to stop wasting time being unhappy about what I was doing and start doing what made me happy. I saw that table that you made for Rosalie and it gave me an idea."

"We're going to start an interior design company." Jasper's mouth opens as if he's going to protest, but then he lets it close again.

"I know it sounds crazy but you have a lot of talent. And you have just the expertise I need."

"What expertise is that, Alice? I make furniture as a _hobby_. I don't know anything about decorating."

"We are going to start the first decorating business in Seattle that exclusively uses salvaged and renewable materials. There's a huge market for that and no one specializing in it. I've got lots of design experience and connections and you know all the environmentally friendly stuff. It's perfect!"

"You'd have to include companies that pay decent wages and don't exploit their workers." Jasper looks at me earnestly as I drive. He probably thinks that this is going to be the deal-breaker.

"That's a great idea! I didn't think of that. That's why you're the partner I need!"

"It will be more expensive for our clients to only use those materials."

"Jasper, businesses and individuals who pay to have someone else decorate for them don't tend to worry about cost. And, people will love to be able to brag about how 'green' their design is. This is a totally great idea, I swear!"

We have arrived at our destination and I drag Jasper into my house and up to my bedroom.

"What are we doing here?" Jasper looks nervous. I pull him into the big walk-in closet I cleared out yesterday. He looks around the empty room.

"What's this?" I gesture around proudly. "This is the former room of shoes. It's going to be our office. It will be our first project together."

"What happened to your shoes?" Jasper looks at me incredulously.

"I got rid of them." He stares at me. "Well, a lot of them. I kept some and gave the rest to Rose for her clients. I couldn't get rid of all my shoes, after all." I laugh and he joins me.

"I think that this is a good idea, Alice. I'm glad you had it." He holds out his hand for me to shake. I shake his hand and we grin at each other for a moment.

Then Jasper seems to think of something and his smile drops just a little. "Alice?" he asks tentatively.

"Yes, partner?" I look at him curiously. What could he possibly object to?

"Does our working together mean we can't…you know…go out? I mean, I know we have different values, but this idea seems to mean that we're willing to see the other's side and maybe we could keep trying to get to know one another?"

"Jasper," I smile at him as I take his hand again. 'I would refuse to work with you if you didn't keep asking me out."

"I think we'll be able to come to some agreement," he says as he kisses my cheek and we sit down on the floor to plan our office.


	39. Chapter 39

**a/n: EverlastingMuse, who is a wonder-beta, actually finished this days ago and I have been sitting on it because I am uber-distracted by the Giants going to the World Series and the awesomeness of Halloween. Sorry. (Go Giants!)**

**Bella:**

Only Renee Dwyer would have the audacity to encourage my ex-boyfriend to Seattle for Thanksgiving to try to facilitate a reunion. And only Jacob fucking Black would have the arrogance to assume that I would come running back to him because he bought a plane ticket and smooth-talked my mom and her husband. Infuriating asshole!

The two things that make Thanksgiving even remotely bearable are that Renee seems to change her mind about Edward by the end of her visit (bizarrely, after Edward burns me) and the kiss that preceded the burn.

Neither Edward nor I have the courage to repeat the kiss but it gives me faith that although we may be moving more slowly than any couple in history, except maybe some old-school Victorians or something, we are creeping towards having a quasi-normal relationship.

Plus, it was a great kiss.

But I don't really have time to dwell on what the kitchen-kiss means because first I have to get Renee and Jake back out of town. The entire ride to Sea-Tac Jake is fishing.

"I like Seattle. It seems like a nice place to live." I try not to even look at him as he says this.

"I've been thinking about getting out of Phoenix. Seattle would be nice."

Still I'm not taking the bait. He starts talking the Pacific Northwest up with Renee and Phil. He's dying for me to show some enthusiasm for the idea of him moving up here. It sounds like a terrible idea to me but I don't want to be rude.

Finally the interminable ride to the airport is over and I give thanks that I have the excuse of papers to write to not wait with them for hours for their plane.

Alice calls me on my way home. She is excited about this business that she and Jasper are starting. I am relieved that Alice has talked Jasper into dropping out of law school. I know that sounds funny but the boy is miserable and anything would be better, even starting some crazy business with Alice. Which actually doesn't sound that crazy, when she explains it. She's really thought it through and I think it probably is going to be successful. I mean, people love environmentally friendly stuff, right?

Alice finished gushing about her new partnership and then she gets serious for a minute.

"Uh, Bella, I need to tell you something. I might have told your mom some stuff about Edward."

"You might have?" What does that mean?

"Ok. I told your mom some stuff about Edward and you, you know, to get her off your case and to piss off that ex-boyfriend of yours."

"What did you tell her?" I'm kind of scared. On one hand, I appreciate Alice helping me out. On the other hand, Alice can say some crazy stuff.

"Well, I might have said that you guys were moving in together." Alice says it so fast that I'm not sure that I heard her right. I don't say anything while I try to make sure that's what she said. Except that Alice feels a need to fill the space and keeps talking. "And I said that Edward was going to buy you a new car." I heard

that part clearly.

"Alice! Did you tell Edward this stuff?"

"No. I don't want him to know I had to make stuff up to get your mom to be nice to him. You know how insecure he is. Don't tell him, OK?"

"OK, but let's try not to do a lot more of that. I'll make something up for my mom if she asks me. At least it wasn't my dad. He would drive over here

with his gun."

"Oh, Bella, you know Eddie looks good on the surface. It's just his insides that are all screwed up."

"Yeah, but my dad had super-cop sense about stuff. I could get away with murder with Renee but my dad always knew when something was fishy. I swear he knew Jacob was cheating on me before Jacob did!"

"Well, let's get my brother a ton of therapy before he has to meet your dad. I mean, you guys are for real, right?"

"I think so. I'm not sure but I think he likes me." I feel lame being so insecure about this but Alice is really safe to say this stuff to.

"My brother is just weird. I know he likes you. Are you coming for dinner Friday?" I had gotten in the habit of going to the Cullen's most Friday nights.

"I think so. I have a lot of studying to do but I should be there."

"Good. Jasper and I are going to officially tell Mom and Dad about the business. He says he's sure that his parents are going to freak but I know mine are going to be cool."

"Yeah, your parents are pretty chill. And not crazy. I like that about them."

I get off the phone with Alice and get home to give Jasper a hard time about being a drop-out. He looks happier than I've ever seen him and I think it's a combination of quitting law school and getting to spend time with Alice.

I am torn away from the delightful act of taunting my roommate by school work I didn't get done over the Thanksgiving break and phone calls from my boss, who is freaking out about some publisher's party that his agent says he has to go to.

"Seth," I say. "It's just a party. And those people love you and think your talented. You're an asset for that company. What are you worried about?"

"I hate parties." Seth whines into the phone. "I turn down all the parties but my agent says I have to go to this one. And Sue can't go because Rachel has a Christmas play thingie for school. I'm going to sit there alone all night and if anyone does talk to me I'll say something weird., like two years ago when I told Rick Riordan that I thought he needed to put openly gay characters in his "Lightning Thief" books."

I laughed. "Well, it was supposed to be common in ancient Greece." Seth defended himself which made me laugh even harder.

"I'll go with you, OK? I'm really good at that. That's what I do for Edward."

"I thought you guys were together?" I roll my eyes at myself, frustrated that I even said anything.

"Yeah, we're together, kind of, I think," I tell him. "Anyway, I'll go with you and save you from yourself, OK?"

I get off the phone and crawl back into my homework, hoping no one else of dubious sanity calls me before I can finish "Crime and Punishment". See? Crazy people no matter what I'm doing.

**a/n: You know how you thank people for their recommendations in the actual fic they are rec'ing? Well, 1redsoc at Twi-fic Promotions wrote a really nice review of "Edward Masen's 1918 Chicago Blues" which is already complete so I can't thank her there! So I am thanking her here. Thank you, 1redsoc! If you want to check it out it's at: http:/twi-ficpromotions (dot) blogspot (dot) com/2010/10/edward-masens-1918-chicago-blues (dot) html. **


	40. Chapter 40

**a/n: So, I got a ton of new readers last week! Welcome! I'm not sure if someone wrote my name on a bathroom wall or what but it's a huge incentive to work on updates. Also, I signed up for NaWriNoMo so I can avoid what I should be doing by working on this. **

**I suppose you've all figured out by now that I don't own it. What you may not know is my abject dependence on my beta, EverlastingMuse. She's the reason "Emmett" always has 2 m's and 2 t's.**

**Edward:**

So I know I'm the most anxious, pessimistic person in the world but I was really feeling optimistic after Thanksgiving. Renee warmed up to me a little bit, even after I burned Bella on the stove, I was all done with my doctoral requirements, and I was feeling good about the teaching position.

Oh, and that kiss.

So just when I feel like I have everything nailed down, I get home the week after Thanksgiving to a police car in the driveway of my parent's house. I haven't seen the police in the driveway since I got in that fight at a local park in ninth grade but the fear never goes away no matter what an upstanding citizen I've been since then. I think about driving away but I haven't so much as gotten a speeding ticket since I was twenty years old. I know there's no reason to be paranoid. Right?

I walk into the house, closing the door carefully so as not to attract any attention but a few seconds later I hear Emmett's loud-ass voice saying: "Oh, that sounds like Eddie now. Edward, get your geeky ass in here!" followed by the hiss of my mother's voice telling him to watch his language.

I straighten my tie and run my fingers through my hair and walk into the living room. There's a man in a khaki-colored police uniform with dark brown hair, a distinctly cop-like mustache and a very suspicious look on his face. He's sitting with my mom and Emmett drinking a cup of coffee and looking at me like I just violated his…

Oh my God! I realize that this has to be Bella's dad and I confirm this by checking the patch on his uniform. Forks. Bingo.

I put my hand out to shake his because dads love good manners, right?

"You must be Bella's dad. It's a pleasure to meet you, Chief Swan." I don't think my voice sounds too shaky.

Charlie Swan stares at my hand and then my face. I swear a full minute goes by. Even Emmett doesn't speak, a minor miracle.

"Take a seat, Mr. Cullen." I drop to the couch so fast I swear I almost miss it and fall on the ground. I reach out with my sweaty hand to steady myself.

"Please, call me Edward." I try to smile. I am scared. Charlie Swan is staring at me with brown eyes that look remarkably like Bella's except Bella doesn't shoot deadly lasers out of hers.

"You knew who I was. Does that mean you were expecting me to show up?" Charlie is expressionless.

"What? No, I had no idea you were coming. What do you mean?" Charlie's eyes narrow.

"Do you mean to tell me that you thought I'd hear that my only daughter is shacking up with some guy I have never met and I'd just stand around eating doughnuts?" Charlie's words are sharp. Emmett smothers a laugh and I shoot him a death-glare of my own.

"Emmett, let's get out of here and leave Edward and Chief Swan…"

"Call me Charlie, Esme." Chief Swan smiles at my mom but drops it quickly when he looks back at me.

"Thank you, Charlie. Let's get out of here and leave Charlie and Edward to get acquainted." I stare at my mom, willing her to not leave me alone with this man.

They leave anyway and I stare at Chief Swan, trying to get my bearings. Shacking up? Bella and I haven't even gone beyond the one kiss and Chief Swan thinks we're living together?

"So, did you think that I was going to stand by and let my only child move in with some guy? Some guy I don't even know?"

"Chief Swan I have no idea where you heard that Bella and I were moving in together. I assure you that it is not happening. I mean, not happening right now. Not that I'd 'shack up' with your daughter. I, uh, not that I don't think very highly of your daughter. I just wouldn't ever think to, I mean, one day maybe we will live together or get married and live together. I mean, of course, married people usually live together." I continued to talk with Chief Swan's eyes of death on me, babbling on and on.

"You and Bella are not moving in together?" He finally interrupted by stream of nonsense.

"No. I mean, not that we've discussed and it would be some time from now, obviously, and…"

"It's fine, Edward. As long as you promise me that you and Bella aren't moving in together you can relax." I decide to stop trying to qualify the statement. I mean, I guess I would want to live with Bella but I would really rather wait until she has a chance to talk with her Dad or I have a gun license or something. I thank God for sealed juvenile records and keep my mouth shut.

"Sorry about the misunderstanding, Edward." The Chief gives me the smallest smile ever. In fact, I'm not sure that it wasn't just a twitch of his mustache.

"Oh, uh, no big deal. I'm sorry you had to drive all the way over here for nothing."

"Oh, not a problem. Esme has been kind enough to invite me to dinner so we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other." The Chief gives me another semi-smile. It actually looks a little evil.

As nerve-wracking as a surprise visit from the Chief is it actually gets me thinking. I'm getting pretty old to be living in my parents house, no matter how much freedom I have and how cool they are. I have used living with them as a way of maintaining distance with some of the women I've dated, but I feel like I don't really need to do that now. In fact, I feel like doing the exact opposite and it occurs to me

that, despite the promises I made to the frightening Chief Swan, getting my own place may actually facilitate me having a closer relationship with Bella.

Not to mention my efforts to not be a total living-with-my-mom-at-almost-30 freak.

So I am sitting at the kitchen table with my computer having no idea where to start besides googling "apartments in Seattle". I am finding a lot of totally non-apartment results and am getting frustrated when Alice and Jasper walk in.

They have been upstairs in the former room of shoes trying to convert it into a workable office. It might not work, I mean, it's a small room. Maybe a midget like Alice could work comfortably in there but the two people trying to work in there is a recipe for disaster. I figure it's a good thing I'm trying to move out. They could always use my room for an office.

"What is a half of a bathroom?" I look at Alice, pushing my glasses back up on my nose. I know I've been looking at this insanity for a long enough time that I've mussed my hair into a crazy mess.

"What are you looking at?" Alice stops her search for food in the refrigerator and looks at me.

"Apartments. If I stay here any longer I'm going to have to move into the basement and become a cliché." Jasper laughs. I have a feeling he's probably thought this about me if he hasn't said it out loud.

"Oh my God!" Alice claps her hands together and squeals. "You mean I was right? I knew it!" She starts dancing around the kitchen while Jasper and I look at her with almost identical looks of confusion. Then it dawns on me.

"Alice, did you tell Bella's dad that we were moving in together?" She slows her dancing journey around the kitchen and looks at me with big grey eyes. "You did, didn't you?"

"No. No!" She stops and braces her hands on the table on the exact opposite side of the table from me.

"Do you know what that man does for a living? He's a cop. With a gun, Alice. A gun. Do you know how scary it was to have that man accuse me of defiling his only child when I've never even…just, nothing." I am staring at Alice, uncertain as to what role she has in the Chief Swan interrogation.

"I've never even spoken to Bella's dad. I told Renee that you were getting your own place and I might have implied that you guys were going to move in together." Alice is looking down at her hands and I can tell she feels bad that I almost lost my life to the long arm of Fork's law enforcement.

"It's Ok. Chief Swan agreed that as long as I don't tell Bella that he came here to kill me and she and I never live together he would let me live." I smile at Alice and Jasper laughs.

"So you're looking for a place?" Alice asks, happy to be off the subject of my impending death.

"Yeah, but I don't really know how to start. I've never done this before and I'm sure I'm going to end up living in a chicken coop in Edmonds."

"Why don't you talk to Emmett? He probably knows real estate people, right?" Jasper asks. I can't blame him. He's new enough to my family that he doesn't know what a total clown Emmett is.

"Ask me what?" Emmett comes in, still dressed from work, in a suit and tie. Except his tie has Cookie Monster on it. I'm not sure how he gets away with it in a bank.

"Edward wants to buy a place!" Alice jumps up and down. I frown at her but she ignores me.

"Actually, I was just going to rent." Emmett grabs an apple from the bowl on the counter and shakes his head.

"No, you definitely want to buy." He takes a bite of his apple and proceeds to talk with bits of apple flying out of his mouth. "You've got good credit, a job and enough to put down a decent down payment. This is a good time to buy. Prices are way down. I can help you get a good loan"

"What if they keep dropping? Are you going to make me another loan next year if home prices don't come back up?"

"I'm not going to be a banker this time next year." Emmett winks at me. "But I have a great place for you to look at. You know those mixed-use places? They have a store front below and an apartment up above?"

"Oh, those are great," Jasper interjects. "I just read an article about those in Atlantic Monthly."

"Yeah, anyway, I have a client who I did a loan for to build some downtown and they're ready to buy. That way you have a place to live and you can rent the space below out as a source of income."

"I don't want to live above a business. What if they're noisy? What if they have creepy customers?"

"Well, that's why you don't rent to a tattoo parlor or a taxidermy shop or whatever." Emmett has finished spraying apple bits all over me and has started rummaging in the cabinets.

"Yeah, you could rent to a book store or yarn shop." Alice looks more excited about this than I am.

"Or you and your super-geek buddy can put your offices there if you ever get your funding." Emmett has found some triskets and has started stuffing them into his mouth.

"That's not a bad idea." I say and Alice starts bouncing up and down.

"Can we decorate it? We'll do it for free if you let us use you in our advertising? Please, Edward?" Alice gives me an imploring look while Jasper merely watches for my response.

"Yeah, sure." Alice has had a hand in the appearance of my room and my wardrobe since she was thirteen so I figure this is no big deal.

"Watch out, Eddie, she and Nature Boy could make it look like a lion habitat or something? You don't want to be walking around on palm fronds and sitting on hay." Emmett pokes Alice in the side. Jasper, to his credit, laughs.

"Yeah, then I couldn't have you over because you'd try to cover my décor with cheese-whiz and eat it." Emmett has just stuck five triskets in his mouth and then laughs wheat bits at me.

**a/n: Tell me what you're thinking.**


	41. Chapter 41

**a/n: I don't own it. EverlastingMuse is the fastest and bestest beta in the world! See my note at the end about why this is the shortest update ever.**

**Bella:**

I am (pleasantly/unpleasantly) surprised to find that Edward understands about me attending a party with my boss. Especially since it coincides with the night

that his parents are having their traditional Christmas party, the Friday before the holiday itself. Not that I want him to be jealous and angry but…really I expected some kind of response.

It makes me kind of crazy that I am questioning his reaction like this. He just said: "Oh, well perhaps you can swing by after the other party." Very calm. I replay it in my head obsessively.

I decide that now that he is pretty sure about getting the permanent faculty position he doesn't really care. I know that this is the lost negative, pessimistic conclusion possible, but I continue to have a hard time figuring out what he's doing with me. I mean, yeah he's kind of messed up but he's gorgeous and smart and successful. I, on the other hand, am a plain, poor undergrad with a crazy family.

I think for a half a second that I should just encourage Jacob's resurging interest in me and then decide that I would rather choke on a small dog, like one of those Corgis or something. Jacob seriously makes me ill, the way he dumped me and now he's pretending we are soulmates or something.

I slog my way through finals, studying by myself for sociology because Alice and Jasper have dropped out of school, lucky dogs.

I am just two finals away when I decide to take a break and go up to Rose's place after she gets off work.

"Take a seat and make yourself comfortable," she says as she lets me in. She looks a little more rushed than usual and is throwing dishes into the dishwasher and pulling clothes out of a laundry basket. "Emmett just called and he's taking me out to dinner. I have to take a shower. I was cleaning the gutters today." She grimaces as she rushes into her bathroom.

I take a Diet Coke out of her fridge and set myself down on the couch to wait for her to get out of the shower. After a few minutes my cell phone rings and I sigh when I see Jake's Arizona phone number. I answer it anyway and try to make nice while he tells me about his new job.

"It's in Edmonds, only half an hour away from Seattle." he says about his high school assistant coach job. I roll my eyes.

"Jake, I don't want you to relocate here just for me, ok?" Rose's front door opens and Emmett comes in still dressed from work at the bank and with a big bouquet of flowers. I give him a wave as he gets a vase out of Rose's kitchen cabinet and puts them in water while I continue talking to Jake. I finally beg off the phone telling him that Rose's boyfriend is here, at which Emmett smiles.

"What's up?" I ask Emmett. He is looking at me curiously and he sits down at the kitchen table a few feet away. He looks for a minute as if he's deciding what to say before shaking his head at me slightly.

"You know, everyone says that I'm afraid of commitment?" These words from anyone else would seem rude but Emmett follows them with a big smile.

"Whatever, Emmett," I drag the words out sarcastically. "Are you saying that I should jump back into it with Jacob?" He shakes his head emphatically.

"No, I think you like my brother. I just noticed that you won't come out and tell that guy 'absolutely, no, I won't get back together with you' and you won't tell Eddie 'yes, without a doubt I want to jump in bed with you.'"

So now I'm mad. "You think I'm stringing them along? Do you think I'm playing with your brother?" I am clenching the cushions on the couch and I hope Rose can't hear me.

"No, I just think you're scared. I can tell you like him and I don't think you want that other guy, but I think you are afraid." I shake my head at Emmett, astounded that he has a relationship that lasts longer than a month and all of a sudden he's Dr. Phil.

"I'm sorry, I am having a hard time hearing this." I get up. "Can you tell Rose I'll see her later?" Emmett stands up, spreading his hands out in amazement.

"See what I'm saying? You can't even tell me off! You are mad and you can't even tell me so." I shake my head and go out the door, shouting, "Good night, Emmett!" over my shoulder.

I stomp downstairs and try to get back to my studying. I listen for Rose and Emmett leaving, halfway expecting him to try to talk to me again but they come down the stairs and pass my door without pausing.

I stare at my notes for twenty more minutes without taking any of it in before giving up and slumping on my couch, thinking about how pissed I am at Emmett. How dare he tell me how scared I am when his brother is the one keeping me at arms length! He's the one who had like no response when I told him that

I wasn't going to be able to make it to his parent's Christmas party. He's the one who spent the night in bed with me on Halloween and didn't even try anything. Emmett can't criticize me for not throwing myself at him.

I am scared, I have to admit. I got my heart really broken by Jacob and trusting men is hard for me. But Emmett's wrong if he thinks that I am the one holding

this relationship back. I'm pretty sure of that.

Emmett Cullen is an idiot.

**a/n: Ok, it's the shortest update ever, I know. But chapter 42 is coming tomorrow to make up for it. Also, I have a new story. It's AU and mostly goofy. It's called "The Red Eye" and if I ever figure out how to link my banners to my profile I'll let you see that, too! Check it out!**


	42. Chapter 42

**a/n: I don't own it, you know who does. EverlastingMuse is the whipped cream to my pumpkin pie.**

**Edward:**

Emmett Cullen is an idiot.

Don't get me wrong. He's my brother and I love him. I also think that there are some things at which he is really good. I think he's good at his job, for example. He helped me find an agent and handled the paperwork for my loan. I will move into my condo in January and I'm pretty pleased with it.

He also, bizarrely, managed to do a good job getting Jasper's sister, Rose, to go out with him and of convincing her that he is of appropriate maturity to be in a relationship. Whether he can handle being with a woman with obvious standards and intelligence remains to be seen but he hasn't screwed up yet.

No, Emmett Cullen is an idiot because not only did he quit his job, which I believe I mentioned that he was actually good at, but because one of the other things he did this week was invite fucking Tanya, my ex-girlfriend, to my parent's Christmas party.

I could kill him.

I had really high hopes for this Christmas party. I just found out this week that I got the teaching position. I have a new place I'm moving into soon. I was going to tell Bella how I felt. Or maybe just hint how I felt and see how she takes it. Or maybe just make out with her. I don't know, but I was going to do something.

But then she couldn't make it because she has to go to a party with her nutbag boss. Which I am pissed off and jealous about but I tried very hard to not let her know. Because I am like the very epitome of mature.

I'm still hoping she can come by later but I decide to tell her about getting the job over the phone the day before. I want her to be the first to know and I know my parents are going to be asking.

Unfortunately, she's kind of hard to read over the phone and I can't really tell how she feels when I tell her. I mean, she says: "That's great, Edward."

"That's great." What does that mean? So I hint as to what this means for us.

"So, we can…change the parameters of our relationship." WTF, Edward! What does _that_ even mean? I am mentally kicking myself for being such a stuffy jerk. "Ok." Is all she says and I express my wishes that I'll be able to see her at the party the next night. "I'll try. I'm not sure how long the thing with Seth will take."

"Then perhaps I can see you Saturday?" She pauses.

"That will work. I'm leaving for Forks to see my Dad for Christmas on Sunday but I'm free on Saturday." Invite me, invite me, invite me. I know I'm crazy to want to go to Forks with her, especially if it means facing the dreaded Chief Swan but I'm a desperate man.

She doesn't invite me but I figure I'll at least see her Saturday so I let it go.

Then, Friday morning, I wake up with a cold. Which is a disappointment but not enough of one to flatten my mood. I take a bunch of cold medicine and slog through my shortened work day. I am lucky that it's the Friday before Christmas and there is little to do except take a few late papers from flaky students and tell people "Happy Holidays". I stay away from the multitude of baked goods littered across the department office, because I can't taste anything anyway and smile grimly when people tell me to go home.

I make it to 3 pm and go home to take a nap. I am woken after dark by Alice shaking me and feeding me some more aspirin so I can make an appearance at the party. I don't bother getting dressed up but Alice makes me put on clean clothes because I have been sleeping and drooling in the ones I was wearing.

I make it downstairs and say hi to a few people to make Esme happy, trying not to get snot on anyone, accepting their sympathetic smiles.

Then the doorbell rings again and it's Tanya and I am pissed. It's bad enough that Bella's not here and I have a cold but I have to deal with Tanya. She looks like holiday Barbie, with a short red skirt and a gold sweater and I'm sure some men think that that stuff looks good but I find myself wondering what I was doing with her. Her shoes and lipstick and nails are totally color-coordinated, for Christ's sake! (I should mention that I never noticed this propensity for matching in Tanya until Alice pointed it out to me. Now I can't _no_t notice it. I guess someone named Michael Kors says it's tacky)

"Edward," Tanya is sashaying over to me and purring my name and I wish I could tell you that I wasn't rude but I roll my eyes at her.

"Hi Tanya. Who invited you?" I have a feeling before she even says it.

"Your brother. I ran into him at Neiman Marcus last week and he said I should come." She is doing that thing where she is curling herself up to me and I put my arm out to push her away as politely as I can.

"Tanya, I have a cold and I am not in the mood. Why don't you go hang on one of Emmett's banker buddies." I try to walk away but she follows.

"Why are you being so rude?" She keeps her voice flirty so no one knows we're arguing, because appearance is everything to Tanya. "I thought we could have a drink, catch up?" I shake my head as I look for Emmett so I can kill him or make him take Tanya off my hands.

"Did Emmett tell you that I'm seeing someone?" She shakes her head. "No? That seems strange. I wonder why he wouldn't bother telling you that I have a girlfriend. I'm sorry, Tanya. I would have a stern talk with Emmett if I were you." She is still smiling at me and following me, despite what I said to her. I know that Tanya's ego won't let her see another woman as a threat. She's going to pretend that I didn't just tell her I had a girlfriend. Great. Her denial is epic.

I finally see Alice and, despite the fact that Tanya is still following me, I ask her if she's heard from Bella.

"No," she says, nodding sadly, looking at Tanya over my shoulder. "She said it might be too late to come by when she's done."

"Alice, I'm going back to bed. I feel like crap and just want some sleep." She nods understandingly. I turn to Tanya. "Have a good time. I'm going to bed." I catch her before she can get the words out. "Alone."

I drag my carcass upstairs and lock the door to my bedroom so Tanya doesn't get funny ideas and I get back into bed. I am really hoping that I feel better tomorrow so I can not get snot all over Bella when I tell her I love her. That just doesn't seem very romantic.

**a/n: If you haven't had a chance check out my AU faux detective story: "The Red Eye". It's going to be much shorter and even dumber than this. Check it out anyway. JuJu**


	43. Chapter 43

**a/n: I don't own it. EverlastingMuse is my saintly beta. She reads all my ramdom shit and makes it less embarrassing.**

**Bella:**

I have a great time at the publisher's party that I go to with Seth. He is, of course, a nervous wreck but everyone there knows him so they know he's going to say awkward stuff and hang out behind the tree. So everyone is really welcoming and understanding. One of the editors even asks me if I've ever thought of doing any writing. Which, of course, I have. What literature major hasn't?

There's pretty decent food and a nice jazz trio playing. I do make a point of staying away from the booze, since I am with my boss and I have a pretty low tolerance for alcohol.

Seth feels like he has given enough "face time" after a few hours and I have him drop me off at Edward's house, since it looks like there's still quite a few people there. The first person I see is Emmett, who I am still a little annoyed with.

"Bella, I'm so glad you made it!" Emmett seems bizarrely happy to see me and pulls me into a big hug as if he's _not_ on my shit list.

"Hi," I look around for Edward but I'm not seeing him. "How's the party going?" Rose wanders up at that moment.

"It's still pretty lively. Jasper's about to give Alice her Christmas present." Rose grins. "Eddie had the plague and had to go to bed early, though," Emmett interjects. I am disappointed that I missed him but figure we'll hook up tomorrow. And maybe it's a blessing in disguise. I mean, if Edward's going to tell me that he has his job and doesn't need to pretend to be with me anymore than it's better if he is covered with snot and all sick, right?

"Oh, come on," Rose pulls on me. "You have to see this." She drags Emmett and I into the living room where Alice and Jasper are sitting on a couch facing each other, both looking incredibly anxious. I notice that Jasper is the only one with a present in his hands.

"Merry Christmas," Jasper says with a nervous smile as he passes the present to Alice. He gives us an annoyed glance but we refuse to take the hint and continue to hover over them. Alice looks at the little box and then at Jasper. I know she's probably nervous that he got her like a membership to the Sierra Club or an NPR emergency radio or something.

Alice opens the box after tearing the doubtless recycled wrapping paper off and her jaw drops. I can see something sparkly in the box and Rose looks at me mischievously and whispers in my ear. "I helped him pick them out. Did you know you can buy used diamonds? So you're not getting 'blood diamonds' or whatever? I wouldn't let him do it." She shakes her head.

Alice is just staring at Jasper as if she's starving and he's a big steak dinner. Free-range beef with organic vegetables and all that, of course. He has a big smile on his face. Alice looks down at the box, which I can now see has a pair of BIG diamond earrings. I'm pretty impressed with Jasper for getting something that Alice would like rather than something he thinks is politically correct. I'm dying to know what she got him.

She smiles at him slyly and says: "I didn't get you anything." Jasper gasps and blurts out: "I love you." Emmett and Rosalie and I have to look away because all of a sudden Alice's tiny body has projected itself across the space between them to his lap and she's saying: "I love you, too," and kissing him.

We scramble back into the hallway, laughing. "You probably want to stay here tonight, Bella. It's probably gonna get kinda hot in your apartment tonight." Emmett and Rose are laughing and it's obvious that they knew that this was going to happen. I laugh and agree.

Alice and Jasper slip out almost immediately and most of the guests leave over the next half-hour or so. I go up to sleep in Alice's room. After finding some pajamas that fit me and that aren't pink, I pace around for a few minutes debating going in to check on Edward. I could just see if he needed anything or say goodnight or watch him sleep like a creepy person or something. I wait until it sounds really quiet in the hallway and go down to his door. The door is locked, so I'm feeling pretty stupid about all that time I spent debating with myself and I go back to Alice's room and go to sleep.

I wake up pretty early the next morning since I probably had less to drink than anyone I know and I decide to make some breakfast. I really don't want to wear my dress from the night before, so I find a pair of what must be Alice's biggest jeans and a t-shirt and go downstairs to the kitchen. Alice's jeans are crazy short on me and her Tinkerbell t-shirt makes me look like a twelve-year old.

I am rummaging around in the kitchen after starting some coffee when this gorgeous blond woman wearing a man's button-up shirt comes in.

"Hey," I mutter. "The coffee will be done in a minute if you want some." I bury my head in the cupboard so I don't have to make conversation with a stranger.

"Thanks," she says, getting out two mugs and standing near the coffee pot, waiting. I can feel her eyes on me as she waits. "I'm Tanya," she says after a long silence. "You must be a friend of Alice's?"

I take a deep breath and try to look at her without freaking out. This is Tanya, Edward's ex-girlfriend. In his house. In a shirt. And nothing else. "I'm Bella. Nice to meet you." I finally extend my hand to shake hers because apparently she's not going to stop staring.

"Nice to meet you," she gives me a big smile. Just then the alarm goes off on the coffee pot and she pours two cups. "I'm going to take this up to Edward. Are you making breakfast? I'm sure he's starving after last night." She laughs and winks at me.

"No, I'm just taking off." I manage to get the words out as she's leaving the room before my stomach hits the floor.

All my self-doubt comes right back on me in that moment. Why would someone like Edward be with someone like me? I mean, his ex-girlfriend looks like a model. She's obviously self-confident and sexy and not dressed in a Tinkerbell t-shirt. Given the chance to get back together with her why wouldn't he?

I need to get out of here and it occurs to me that I got dropped off here last night. There's no way I'm sticking around here a second longer, though, so after retrieving my purse I walk outside and down the hill to the nearest bus stop.

Nothing like public transit and unbearable heartbreak to make you feel like the bottom of the food chain.

**a/n: If you like music I have playlists posted for all my writing (link on my profile). I know it's geeky but I'm really inspired by music so I thought I'd share.**

**Hey folks, are you getting badjujube-withdrawl since we are so close to the end? Well, perhaps I can interest you in my new story? Check out "The Red Eye"! In a freakish whirlwind of activity I even sent teasers to people who reviewed! **

**Thanks for reading! JuJu**


	44. Chapter 44

**a/n: I feel compelled to mention my non-ownage of Twilight and it's characters. Also, the coolness of EverlastingMuse.**

**Edward:**

I think I am forced into consciousness by the fact that I can't breathe. I have slipped under my pile of pillows and my nose is stuffed up and I snore myself awake. I have give myself a minute to remember what's happening. I'm in my clothes from the night before and I can't breathe through my nose but I don't feel exhausted or achy anymore.

I'm going to see Bella today, I remember, and I drag myself out of bed, feeling a lot better. I take a shower and am getting dressed when there's a knock on my door.

"Yeah?" I yell, buttoning up my shirt. I am appalled to hear Tanya's voice on the other side of the door. What the hell is she still doing here? I open the door to find Tanya, wearing one of Emmett's shirts.

"Why are you still here?" I open the door and sit back down to put my shoes and socks on. Tanya pouts at me and tries to sit next to me but I move away. I am totally not in the mood.

"I spent the night. I thought you might be in a better mood after you got some sleep." She sits there fluffing her hair and drinking coffee. Coffee sounds like a good idea. Tanya does not.

"I'm never going to be in a good enough mood. You shouldn't walk around my parent's house like that, either. Emmett's girlfriend is going to get the wrong idea." I find my watch and wallet and am debating which coat to wear, trying to pretend Tanya isn't even there. What was my family thinking, letting her spend the night?

"I think Alice's friend already got the wrong idea. She took off pretty quickly." I look at Tanya. Alice's friend? She looks at me blankly. "Pretty little brown-haired thing?"

My heart stops and I choke out her name. "Bella?" Tanya smiles at me with malice. "Yes, that's it. She might have gotten the wrong impression when I saw her this morning. About us, I mean."

I stare at Tanya for a long moment and then the screaming starts.

As near as I am able to put together Bella left the house about two hours before I even woke up. It's hard to put this stuff together because after I yelled at Tanya for ten minutes she gets dressed and leaves in a hurry while I'm leaving several screaming voicemails for Emmett. Bella's phone goes straight to voicemail, Alice isn't answering her phone and my parents were asleep until they heard my tantrum and things breaking.

Esme is pretty sure she heard someone leaving a few hours earlier so I figure that must have been Bella. I drive over to Bella's. Her phone is still going to voicemail so I leave a really calm, contrite message.

Her truck isn't there and I am traumatized by the sight of my sister answering the door in Jasper's robe when I knock on the door.

"Alice, where the hell is Bella?" I push past her into the apartment. Jasper is in the kitchen in pajama pants and no shirt. I cringe at what this picture is saying about my baby sister and her sex life but I push the nausea down to ask them if they know anything about Bella.

"She was going to Forks for Christmas, but I don't think she was going to leave until tomorrow." Jasper is scratching his head and looking at me apologetically. Whether he's sorry for defiling my baby sister or that my world is ending isn't clear.

"Can I stick around to see if she comes back?" I must look like King Pathetic because Jasper agrees to let me keep watch from his place and even gets me some coffee and a bagel. I try to explain to Alice what happened but after a while, I just get disgusted with trying to pull her attention away from Jasper and I continue to brood from the couch.

The only other thing I can think of to do at this point is to call her father's house and I go so far as to get his phone number from information but my profound Charlie-phobia keeps me from calling. I am staring at the numbers on my phone with my finger poised over the "call" button when there's a knock at the door.

I get up to answer it and then remember that I don't live here. So I am slumped on the couch when Jasper opens the door.

"I'm looking for Bella," the voice at the door is sickeningly familiar. I look up to see Jacob at the door. Jasper looks at me nervously before turning back to him.

"She's, uh, not here right now. Can I leave her a message?" Jacob sees me and gives me a non-committal "guy-nod", you know, the one where you are forced to acknowledge someone's presence but are clearly not into them enough to say "hello" or use your hands or anything.

Alice has wandered over to the door and gives Jacob a glare. She sits down next to me and pats me on the knee in solidarity.

"Has she gone to Forks early?" Jacob is pissing me off but he might actually be useful in this situation. I get up off the couch and walk over to the door.

"You know, Jacob, I think that her phone isn't working and I'm a little worried. You know Charlie so much better than I do. Do you mind giving him a call?" Jacob gives me a nod, pleased that he has some kind of apparent advantage.

He takes out his phone and finds the number. I have to turn around while he talks with Charlie. I'm so intensely interested in the conversation that I'm afraid he can tell. He has a brief, uncomfortable-sounding conversation with Charlie and gets off the phone.

"She's gone a day early. Are you guys ok?" Jacob gives me a broad smile. Fucker doesn't even try to hide his glee.

"We're great. It's been a busy week." I am barely able to contain myself. I want to punch him in the neck.

"Edward just bought a condo and got offered a professor job at the university." Alice pipes up. My favorite sibling ever.

"Oh. Well, I guess I'll see you out there?" Jacob is slightly deflated.

"Yeah, see ya." I realize that I am about to make an unexpected trip to Forks.

I go back home to get some things together. If I am going to drive to Forks I am probably going to need some stuff. A change of clothes and a gun are what comes to mind immediately. Or, at a minimum, a bulletproof vest. I settle for a change of clothes and leaving a note for Emmett requesting that he fix the Tanya-Bella mess he has created before I have a long talk with his new girlfriend about the events of Spring Break of 2004.

I get in the car to drive to Forks and I work on rehearsing what I'm going to say to Bella. And what I'm going to say to Charlie to get him to let me talk to Bella. Because I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be dealing with a pissed-off father-daughter combination once I get out there.

It's getting a little late and I'm getting a little chickened-out by the time I get to Forks and I also have to resolve the issue of not knowing where the Chief lives so I decide to find a place to stay and tackle this issue tomorrow.

I find the only motel in Forks and get myself a room. I can't sleep but I have no other options because I'm in Forks, for Christ's sake. I manage to get a few hours of sleep but I'm incredibly anxious.

I decide the next morning that I can't go over there empty-handed and talk myself out of doughnuts because I'm concerned about the possible cop-related sensitivity on Chief Swan's part. The closest thing I am able to find at the only business I can find open, the local grocery store, is a poinsettia plant.

Finding Chief Swan's house, however, is as easy as asking the cashier. God bless small towns!

I knock on the door, poinsettia in hand, feeling terrified. The door swings open and instead of Bella I'm looking at Chief Swan…and his shotgun.

"Edward. What brings you here?" Chief Swan doesn't invite me in but he doesn't point the gun at me either.

"Chief Swan, I apologize for coming over uninvited but I need to speak with Bella." He looks at me warily and steps out onto the porch, still holding his gun. He gestures to the two faded wooden chairs sitting on the porch.

"Well, Edward, I'd invite you in but you're not the first unexpected guest this weekend, and I just want to make sure you're not going to upset my daughter." He is sitting with his gun across his knees and looking at me with suspicion.

"I, uh, what other unexpected guest? Is Bella ok?" I am confused because I assumed that that moron Jacob was invited.

"Well, Bella's old boyfriend Jacob drove out here with an engagement ring. I guess he had a little change of heart." My stomach sinks. So Chief Swan doesn't want me to upset Bella because she's getting married to an idiot and I might have a tantrum. Makes sense, since that's what I'm about to do.

There's this little scared part of me that wants to just slink away and try to never think about Bella Swan again. And then there's another (larger) part of me that wants to make a big scene and rampage and convince her that she's making a mistake and to be with me instead.

But I have to get past Charlie first.

"Chief Swan," I look him in the eye and try to speak as calmly and earnestly as I can. "I think that Bella being with Jacob is a terrible idea."

Charlie just looks at me curiously and I continue talking before he can kick me off the porch. "I have been really stupid with regard to Bella and I admit that I haven't always done things the right way. I am difficult to get along with and afraid of everything. But I'm in love with her and there is no way that Jacob can walk in and take her away from me." Charlie tries to interject and he is looking a little uncomfortable but I continue talking.

"He left her. He's been doing God knows what this whole time and then he shows up and assumes that she's still his? I've only known her for a few months but I have thought of her every day since we met, and I'll do whatever I have to to keep her happy. I'm sorry, Chief Swan, but even if that means living with me or marrying me or whatever she needs to keep her happy. That moron can never love her the way I do. Please, can I talk with her? I have to tell her how I feel."

"Well," Charlie said, shaking his head. "That's going to be up to her but I have to tell you, you've got the wrong idea about this Jacob thing. I would never let my only child marry that jackass. What do you think I had my shotgun out for?"

I looked at him, astonished. "She's not…"

"Of course, she's not going to marry him. In fact, before I even had a chance to get him in my sights she turned him down. I just had the pleasure of chasing him out of town." Charlie grinned at me and then his face got serious. "Now, I'm going to let you talk to her. But if you upset my little girl…"

"I won't," I interrupted him with a big smile on my face. "I promise I won't upset her. Thank you." I get up off the porch and walk into the front door of the Chief's house so fast that I bump into a startled Bella. Who has been standing there listening to us for who knows how long.

She's staring at me with those big brown eyes and I can't read her expression.

"How long?" I ask quietly. "Did you hear all of it?"

She nods.

**a/n: Thank you for all your awesome reviews! Since I'm still pretty organized this week review=teasers. Just don't get spoiled because the holiday chaos train is scheduled to make a stop at my house soon! JuJu**


	45. Chapter 45

**a/n: Unbeta'ed mess is unbeta'ed, I am trying to stay on a regular update schedule and I couldn't steal any internet this weekend at my MILs in the **_**capital**_** of the great state of California! Shocking, huh?**

**Bella:**

Of all the unexpected-ass shit to ever happen, Edward has just declared his love to my dad.

His love for me, of course, not my dad. That would be weird. Although not any weirder than all of the events of the last 24 hours, starting with Edward's ex-girlfriend, including Jacob showing up here with the ridiculous notion that I would marry him and up to and including Edward telling my dad that he loves me while sitting on the front porch with a poinsettia. With my dad holding a shotgun.

I realize that I am running this stuff through my head while Edward stands there staring at me, knowing that he just spilled his guts to my shotgun-toting dad. He looks understandably anxious.

I'm kind of frozen, I'm not really sure how to respond to that whole thing.

"Bella? Do you think you could say something? I'm feeling a little awkward here." I nod at him again.

"Out loud? Do you think that you could say something out loud? Even if it's just 'Do you want some coffee?' or 'That's a really nice poinsettia.'" Edward looks like he's going to cry and I realize that I have to make some sounds soon.

"I…uh…I'm a little overwhelmed." I pause, looking at him. I don't think he's breathing. "Could we have breakfast and let me…get my thoughts together?" He lets out his breath and nods.

"Ok, Bells, I'm going to come in and I don't want to see anything…that I don't want to see." My dad has apparently been waiting on the porch this whole time, which is pretty cool of him. He comes in and looks at us, standing in the entryway.

"I thought you were going to make French toast." He looks at me, effectively unfreezing me, and I am able to move around again.

"Do you like French toast? I can make something else." Edward shakes his head and smiles. "No, I love French toast. Can I help?"

"You can keep Charlie out of the kitchen while I cook." He looks nervous about this but he nods again and follows Charlie into the living room.

I stare at the contents of the refrigerator for a minute, just catching my breath. I don't really know what to think about all this. It seems kind of surreal. Edward and I have gone from months of being too scared to talk about stuff most of the time to _this. _I don't even know if he means it. I want him to mean it. I'm scared that he doesn't mean it. And I'm scared that he does and I won't know how to respond.

I get myself together and manage to make French toast. Charlie is such a French toast whore that he knows the second it's done and barely manages to remember his manners and wait for Edward. We eat in kind of an awkward silence, only broken by "pass the butter" and "This is excellent". Finally, with a sigh, Charlie gets up and finishes wiping the crumbs out of his mustache.

"Well, I'm going to go out to Billy's. I'll see you later, Edward?" He looks between Edward and I, silently asking if I'm going to be ok.

"I hope so, Chief." Edward extends his hand to my dad who shakes it as warmly as my dad is capable of doing. Charlie gives me a smile and walks out of the kitchen.

At which point I'm stuck in the Edward-vortex again, frozen in his gaze. Poor thing, he looks terrified and very young.

"Did you mean it?" I ask. "I mean, not the getting married part, but the part where…"

"I said that I love you?" Edward interrupts. "Yes, I meant it. I meant all of it but obviously the marriage proposal is a bit premature." He looks embarrassed but he's still maintaining eye contact, which is an unexpected for him. I would have thought that he would have retreated into wherever it is that he goes when he's uncomfortable by now but he's not. Go therapy!

"Wow," is all I have. I'm still kind of a mess here.

"About the Tanya thing…"he starts to talk but I wave it off.

"I talked to Emmett. He explained all about it. I, uh, I'm sorry for talking off like that. I just…" He cuts me off this time.

"I get it. I said that stupid thing about 'reconfiguring our relationship' or whatever, which was totally lame, by the way, And then the Tanya thing. I get why you might have gotten upset." Edward is still looking tense. I know I should either say the "L" word back to him or tell him that I don't have the "L" word for him or something. I'm just terrified.

"Listen, Edward, I, uh…I am not without my issues myself and this is…"

"Scary?" he smiles at me. I nod. "Yeah, I know. I just told a guy with a shotgun that I would be willing to have premarital sex with his only child, no matter how he felt about it. I'm still waiting for him to come back with a shovel to bury me."

"Charlie likes you. You could probably even call him Charlie and get away with it. I know about his little surprise visit, by the way." Edward looks frightened for a moment. I can't help laughing.

"You won him over by keeping his secret. I am still mad at him for doing that to you." Edward shakes his head nervously.

"He, uh, scared the crap out of me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. He's scarier than you."

"It's ok. I understand." I'm still feeling a little unsure about what to say. I decide that I'm sure that I want to spend more time with Edward so I decide to ask him if he wants to stay for a few days.

He looks surprised and then thrilled. "I'd love to. Are you sure your dad will be ok with it?"

"Yeah, like I said, he likes you."

"That sounds great as long as I won't be in the way. I'm going to need to get some clothes and stuff though. Where can I do that?"

"There's Port Angeles or you can go to the sporting goods place here in town. You know, if you like cargo pants." Edward smiles at me. "Cargo pants are great. I _can_ wear, you know, more casual stuff. As long as you keep it a secret from Alice," he adds.

We head over to Newton's, neither of us talking about what isn't being said between us but with a surprising lack of tension. I think being asked to stay must have made him feel good enough that he's relaxed a little.

We manage to find some pretty rugged clothing, which makes Edward laugh instead of getting embarrassed, which is great. We stop and get some groceries so I can continue to keep Charlie relaxed with actual warm food that's not coming out of the diner. We get back to the house and it's only early afternoon and I'm starting to get anxious that I don't have any more errands to keep us busy. And then I remember Mrs. Langley's cat.

Mrs. Langley is Charlie's neighbor and he always takes care of her cat when she's out of town because she brings him baked goods and casseroles all the time. But Charlie hates cats and so if I am here I am automatically on cat duty. I just fed Mr. Mupsy last night but he could probably use some attention and I know he would love some more food because he must weigh 20 pounds. So I drag Edward over there with me.

"I hope you're not allergic or anything." I ask, calling out for Mr. Mupsy as we let ourselves into Mrs. Langley's predominately pastel house.

"No, I've never had a pet, though. Emmett's allergic and I'm sure they thought I would mutilate it or something." Luckily, Edward gives me a grin so I know he's kidding.

Mr. Mupsy comes out and I pet him. He's pretty snuggly and despite his enormous girth he's a cute cat. Edward reaches out his hand, hesitantly. He looks me in the eye to see if it's ok.

"Go ahead," I say, rubbing under the cat's chin while he purrs. Edward rubs the top of the cat's head and smiles slightly as the cat rubs his nose against his hand.

"Have you had pets?" Edward asks. I nod. "I had a cat that I really liked when I was a kid but we moved a lot and I had to get rid of him." Edward looks at me earnestly.

"I'll get you another one," he says. "When we live together?" He realizes what he said and blushes. "I mean, I just assume that if you…"

"I know what you mean," is all I can say before I get too shy to say anymore. He looks at me for a second, waiting for me to go on but when I don't he gestures to Mrs. Langley's piano. "Do you think she would mind?" I don't understand at first and then I remember Angela mentioning that he played piano.

"No. I'm sure it's ok. You're going to play?" He nods. "I have a hard time playing in front of people but…after spilling my guts in front of you I should be able to play some music, right?" I laugh a little.

"Come on." He pulls me over to the piano and sits down on the bench. He looks at the place on the bench next to him and then at me. I sit down.

Edward plays with the keys for a minute and then starts to play something I'm sure I recognize but I can't place. I was expecting something classical, not this. I look at him curiously and he starts to sing quietly so I can place the song. He's singing a Steely Dan song, "Dr. Wu", which is a really beautiful, sad song with some really not romantic lyrics. He's singing about a woman lying and about buying drugs and I think the woman is unfaithful but the lyrics are kind of cryptic.

He finishes and then looks embarrassed. "I know it's not very romantic but I love that song and I think that the music is really pretty. I hope I didn't offend…" He can't finish apologizing for playing that beautiful song for me because I lean forward and kiss him, lightly, on the lips. When I pull away he is startled but happy-looking.

"Don't apologize. I loved it. It was a weird romantic gesture but we're pretty imperfect, right?" He smiles at me, clearly pleased, and nods his head.

"I'm not ready to say the words, ok? But I'm close and I don't want you to go away." I feel tears forming in the corners of my eyes and I start to look down but Edward stops my chin's descent with his hand.

"I'm afraid you're going to go away or that this is another fake-out or a joke or something. I don't want you to go away." Edward looks at me with such tenderness and sympathy and I'm amazed that this flawed, child-like man is the one holding me together right now. He pulls me to my feet and into his arms and hugs me, burying his nose in my hair and stroking my shoulders like you would a crying child.

"I'm not going away. I love you. I'm not going anywhere." Edward murmurs into my hair. And then he lets me go and pulls on my hand towards the door. "Come on. Let's go make the Chief some dinner so we can tell him I'm staying with you for Christmas without him killing me." I rub my wet eyes with my free hand.

"You know you're on the couch, right? And Charlie might be patrolling the stairs." He laughs. "Yeah, I deserve that after my little speech this morning."

"I liked it. Your little speech," I say and Edward stops walking for a second to kiss me on the cheek.

"Good," he says.

**a/n: OK, so bear with me while I have this bizarre moral crisis. I try not to base my self-worth as a writer on the number of reviews I get (which is great, since my first story got like 4 reviews) so I kind of feel like a review-whore exchanging them for teasers. What I really like is the human contact. So, here's the deal: You do not have to review to get the teaser. I will still send them out if you do review but I will also post them on my blog on Monday/Tuesday. Deal? That way you can still respect me in the morning. Thanks! JuJu**


	46. Chapter 46

**a/n: I definitely do not own "Twilight". However, EverlastingMuse owns me for being such an awesome and crazy-fast beta!**

**Emmett: **

So, everyone thinks I'm an idiot.

I mean, I guess I can't blame them. After years of acting like an idiot it makes sense that people would think of me that way. But what most people don't know is that I'm actually quite intelligent, especially when it comes to people. I'm really good at figuring out what makes people tick, what they want, what drives them crazy. The problem with being smart is that most of the smart people I know, aren't really that happy.

My dad is the only really smart guy I know who's also pretty happy. I attribute this exception to the rule to his choice of mates. If he hadn't gotten so lucky as to meet my mom he would have been just another miserable smart guy, analyzing his way through life.

Primary evidence for my theory is my brother, Edward. Smartest guy I know, miserable as a wet sack of cats. His smarts aren't doing him any good because he just uses them to make himself miserable thinking about shit that he can't do anything about. In addition to not doing anything about the stuff he can. Useless big brain.

So, I have this thing I do where I don't really let my brain guide me, unless I need to. I do my job effectively but when it comes to my personal life I try not to think about stuff too much. Because that's how people make themselves unhappy.

But then you get those times where you have to use the mind God gave you. Like with Rosalie. She turns out to be a little bit more complicated than most of the girls I see. She takes some actual consideration. Rosalie's a tricky one and I end up playing more of a long game. Which is fine, because it turns out she's worth it. She's worth using a little brain power on because she makes me happy. It's a good investment.

So Rosie and I are good to go and I can pat myself on the back that I used my brain to make myself happy. But I can't help but feel bad that my brother and his girl are so clueless despite being so smart.

I mean, I tried to push things forward on Halloween and things got a little warmer but he and Bella were still stuck in a kind of holding pattern and I felt like I had to do something to light a fire under them.

I'm the perfect person to do it because everyone thinks I'm an idiot. If it works out the way I want it to, it's a happy accident and if it blows up in our faces, well, I'm an idiot, right? I just don't know any better.

I was tempted to let Rosie in on it because she knows I'm smarter than I act and she could probably have helped out but then I was afraid she'd try to talk me out of it. Which would have worked, of course.

So I kept it to myself and I made a few moves and then just sat back and waited.

So now everybody thinks that I'm an idiot or worse for inviting trampy-Tanya to the Christmas party. But while they're sitting around thinking bad thoughts about me, I have to point out that my miserable brother Eddie and his scared little girl are having some little festive holiday bliss out in Forks.

So who's an idiot?

But I can't rest on my laurels because I have a few more chess pieces to move around before the end of the year. But it's amazing how much more time you have for your personal life when you're unemployed.

First up is this trip my Rosie and Jasper are taking to go see the parents. They bought the tickets ages ago and now poor Jazz has to go explain to his folk about how he dropped out of law school to start some hippie business with my sister. Sounds like it's going to be tense. Actually, it sounds like they are going to need me there to help.

So I tell Rosie that I can't stand to be away from her for that long and that as long as I'm inviting myself to the Hale's for Christmas we may as well bring Alice.

She looks at me suspiciously but agrees.

I have a plan to take some of the attention off of Jasper's abrupt departure from school.

I struggle to not have my feelings hurt by the enthusiasm with which our plans are greeted by Esme and Carlisle. Our parents are thrilled that they get to spend Christmas alone together. They even start making plans to go out of town together. But then they hear that Edward and Bella are coming back to Seattle Christmas day. Her dad has to work Christmas day and Edward feels obliged to come back to see our parents. My mom gets all maternal about Edward. I call it being "ovary protective".

"Mom, I think that you guys should get out of town together. Just tell Eddie you made plans." I realize now that my poor parents have been waiting for us to grow up and get the hell out of the house, so that they can spend some time together not interrupted by the over-grown adolescents that my siblings have been.

"I don't know, honey." my mother vacillates on the phone.

"It's cool, Mom. I'll let Eddie know. You guys need to spend some time alone together."

My mom finally agrees and I believe that I have manipulated every one else's holidays sufficiently for one day.

Now it's time to go get Rosie an engagement ring.

**a/n: Happy Holidays! JuJu**


	47. Chapter 47

**a/n: EverlastingMuse is the rum in my fruitcake. **

**Edward:**

It's like having the high school girlfriend I never had, spending the week at the Chief's house with Bella. Handholding is pretty much as close as I get to her. She laughs at me, thinking I'm being ridiculous, but she's not getting the same looks I get from Charlie. I mean, I guess he likes me, he's been a fairly friendly host, but he does give me that "I'm watching you" look on a regular basis.

At least we can talk about baseball. Charlie's a big Mariner's fan and I am able to utilize my photographic memory for numbers talking stats and bemoaning the previous season's team. We watch ESPN and talk off-season trades until Bella rolls her eyes at us.

What? She's the one who got me into baseball in the first place. Plus, Ichiro is Hall of Fame material, so what if Charlie and I get a little enthusiastic talking about his record?

And Bedard is totally a bum. Just sayin'.

We stay with Charlie until Christmas Eve and then drive back to Seattle. I am a little sad to leave, even with the enormous backache I have from sleeping on the lumpiest couch in the Pacific Northwest. It was kind of calm and idyllic, staying in Forks, keeping Bella company while she knit Christmas gifts for people, watching "Law and Order" reruns and trying to get up the courage to steal kisses when Charlie wasn't looking. Actually, even just having a picture of Charlie in the room made me nervous.

I was a little anxious about trying to find time with her back in Seattle with my family and Jasper and Rosalie and all. I made her promise to spend Christmas at my house but I feared the clumsy machinations of Emmett and just any one else being around that would interfere with me getting time with her.

Imagine my surprise to come home to any empty house.

I immediately called my mom, worried that there had been some sort of emergency.

"Edward? Is everything ok?" my mom answers her phone almost immediately.

"I was calling to ask you that." I'm confused.

"Where are you, sweetie? Are you still in Forks?"

"No, I just got home and there's no one here and Dad's fire hazard out front is off." This is seriously bizarre. Carlisle worked really hard on that hideous reindeer/elf catastrophe and I would expect it to be on.

"Oh, Emmett said he would call you. We're in Toronto and Emmett and Alice went to Atlanta to the Hale's for Christmas." I have the house to myself. And Bella. To myself, I mean.

"So, I'm interrupting you guys having a couple days alone together? Is that what you're saying?" My mom laughs. "No, sweetie, it's nice to hear from you. We'll be back on Sunday, ok?"

"Sure, have a great weekend." I hang up. I have creepy seduction plans to make now. I have a few hours on Christmas Eve to make sure that I don't treat Bella to a day of frozen pizza and VH1 reruns. I do decide to err on the side of non-creepiness and send her a text saying that everyone has unexpectedly gone out of town. I just don't want her to feel like she's walking into a trap.

I am surprised to see a small box on my bed with a note from Alice that says, "You can pay me back later" and a beautiful antique locket in it. I had been debating gift ideas for Bella and this took some pressure off. What I really wanted to do was to get her a cat but I wasn't sure how that would fly with Jasper and it didn't seem like the sort of thing that you picked out for someone else.

I did manage to get food together for Christmas Day and even managed to wrap my present for Bella, since it wasn't a cat.

She showed up at noon the next day and was shocked at my ability to make food that hadn't been near the microwave. I mean, I'm not a gourmet cook but I can make basic things, like baked potatoes and stuff. I also had gingerbread cookies for her and hot chocolate. Perfect cozy Christmas food, if I do say so myself.

We watched "It's A Wonderful Life" after we opened our presents and I managed to get her to curl up with me on the couch. It was heavenly.

I'm not saying I don't have more sinister plans for her but since Bella can't even manage to say the "L" word to me still I can't see her wanting to mess up the bed with me.

Then she says, "Edward? I was wondering if you wanted to spend the night at my house?" and then blushes furiously and looks down at the carpet.

I think I only stared at her for a few seconds before saying, "Yeah, yes, of course," in like a millisecond.

I go upstairs to get some things to wear but I am presented with a wardrobe dilemma. With no Alice in sight.

Do I act upon my optimistic presumption and bring no clothes to sleep in? Do I bring what I normally sleep in (sleep pants, no shirt)? Do I err on the side of uber-modesty and bring full-on pajamas? I pace my room for a few minutes, with the condom issue as a side-debate, until I decide to bring multiple sleep-wardrobe choices so that I can respond to every contingency. Honestly, the bag I'm bringing makes it look like I'm moving in. Embarrassing.

We get over to Bella's where I make awkward and edgy conversation like the totally uncool fellah I am. Should I be making the first move here? What if she was just intending for us to sleep together, as in sleeping, you know, eyes closed, snoring, etc.? Bella excuses herself and I sit on the couch, mindfucking myself, which could be potentially the only action I'm going to get here.

Except that she comes back out and she's changed, holy shit, into some kind of sexy nightgown thing and I actually stop breathing.

And when I stop breathing she gets self-conscious and is looking at the carpet again. "I, uh, don't mean to be overly forward but, um, since you've been so forthcoming about everything I thought that I should…" Bella apparently had just enough courage to change and walk out here. She's terrified now. And all I can do is sit there staring at her because she's so sexy. I mean, Bella's always pretty, often beautiful, occasionally cute but she's kinda ruined that girl-next-door image I had of her with this look.

But now she's about to go into retreat-mode because I have not moved or spoken or responded in any way to her.

So, in a rare display of successful athleticism, I scrambled over the back of the couch to where she's standing. I put my hands on her arms so that I can see her face so she can finish what she was saying. She smiles up at me shyly. After she overcomes her apparent surprise at my couch-clearing abilities.

"I know it seems abrupt but we don't care about normal, right?" She grinned at me wryly as I pulled her closer.

"No, I think I'm willing to be flexible about this," I said and kissed her, gently at first and then with more ardor as she slipped her arms around my neck.

She broke away from me and gestured towards her bedroom door. She pulled me with her as we went into her room. She sat down on the edge of the bed and I joined her, slipping my shoes off while she watched me, her eyes wide and earnest.

I'm amazed that I was able to be as gentle as I was, given my anticipation and her responses. But I paused at each stage to make sure she was still sure, still with me. Until eventually we had lost her nightgown somewhere with my glasses and one of my socks and I didn't have to ask her if she wanted this because I could see it on her face and in the responses of her body.

I was dizzy with the softness of her skin and her scent and could barely stand the ecstasy of her touch when she put her hand on my chest to make me pause. I looked at her with concern but she just wanted to make sure I saw her, heard her when she said, "I love you."

She said it again when I entered her, and again, sighing and breathless as I buried my face in her neck when I came, murmuring her name over and over.

When I was able to speak again I pulled her to where I had collapsed next to her and returned the words.

And then she laughed. I pulled back and looked at her, mussed hair and rosy cheeked. Seeing my confusion, she said, "That was totally better than watching 'Yule Log'." A little while later she proved it to me again.

**a/n: Yule Log: http:/bit (dot) ly/g1zvMd (remove my spaces and (dot) and enjoy!)**

** My apologies for the delay; Christmas, emergency cat surgeries, lack of free interwebs in the state capitol and "The Plan" all conspired against me doing anything on schedule. I will be back on schedule Sunday and teasers will go out on Wednesday.**


	48. Chapter 48

**a/n: Have I mentioned that I don't own "Twilight"? I don't but I do have a kick-ass, super speedy beta, EverlastingMuse.**

**Bella:**

"I feel really bad. I can hardly look at Emmett without laughing," I whispered to Edward when he brought me a glass of champagne. He smiled and looked into his glass.

"That's ok, he's getting back at all of us for laughing at him." He raised his glass for me to see. It was filled with what looked like…grape juice? "Mom told him to get me some Martinelli's and he got the grape-apple kind. Just so it's totally obvious that I'm not drinking real booze with everyone else." Edward sighs.

"Yeah, you and those eight-year olds, huh?" I gesture to someone's kids who are playing Wii with Seth and Ben in the family room.

"Exactly. Some guy just asked me if I was a 'friend of Bill W.'s'. I had to look it up on my iPhone. It's an AA thing, I guess." I laugh.

"You have to admit that it's better than him inviting Tanya." I poked him in the side. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my head.

"So, Seth and Ben hit it off, huh? What made Seth decide to come?" I looked at my boss. He looked about ten years old talking with Ben excitedly while eating caramel corn and giving the kids advice on their game.

"His therapist said he had to go to one New Year's party. I thought he might feel more comfortable here than at another publisher's party. I'm glad I did. He's having a good time, huh?"

"Yeah, he might have stolen my best friend, though. Ben's still mad at me for resisting selling to the Volturi group."

"Well, you gave in. That's what he wanted, right?" Edward frowned slightly.

"Yeah. I was surprised when he wanted to just sell the game outright. They wanted so many changes that I thought he's want us to keep looking for an investor. I guess he just wanted to take the money and have us start on something new."

"Do you know what you guys are going to do yet? Now that you have an office and all?" They were planning on using the storefront under Edward's condo as an office. Jasper and Alice agreed to decorate it if they could use it in their portfolio and on their website. I could envision repurposed cork floors and bamboo desks.

"No. Ben's got lots of ideas, though, and he's thrilled to be out of IT. So's Angela. She said that if she had to hear one more story about people calling him for help because they hadn't plugged in their printers she was going to give his notice for him."

"That should be the first thing you teach your students," I say, teasing.

"Yeah," he laughs. "That lesson comes right before the "turn it off and turn it back on" lesson."

"What? That totally works!" He laughs again. "Remind me to not let you touch my computer."

We are interrupted by Alice whipping through the house like a typhoon, shouting, "Ten minutes, folks! Get your drinks ready!" She's doing a circuit of the house, looping back to tuck herself back under Jasper's arm.

"Well, that's not why Rose didn't come, is it?" Edward asks.

"No, it's an important night at the shelter. She's going to be here just after midnight, she says." I look around for Emmett. He's been pretty low-profile since coming back from his Christmas trip and I'm not seeing him now.

"At least she agreed to hire him as fundraiser." Emmett actually got a job with a small firm of professional fundraisers and the shelter is his first client. It seems like a good fit for Emmett. He can do something of social significance and still spend all day schmoozing people.

"Yeah, Jasper's already on his case about not using paper products at his events."

"Is that why my mom's using cloth napkins all of a sudden?" Edward looks at me curiously.

"Probably. Did you see Alice showing off her no-leather shoes earlier? She's drinking Jasper's organic, fair-trade Kool-Aid." I laugh. Really, I love Jasper but sometimes I get tired of peeling the "Made in China" tags off of my stuff.

Finally, I see Emmett coming out of the kitchen, just in time for the countdown. I stifle my giggles and wave him over. He perks up a bit and waltzes over.

"Hey, bro, are you gonna let me smooch your girl for New Years?" He grins at Edward.

"Why don't you ask her?" Edward says with a smile. "You could take out a billboard ad on 101." Emmett flips him off and Edward and I collapse with laughter. Poor Emmett. Not that anyone told him that it was a good idea to propose to Rosalie at that big college bowl game. On the scoreboard. And Rose, bless her heart, was as embarrassed as he was to say no. In front of forty-thousand football fans. She just couldn't see marrying someone she'd been dating for a few months. I just don't think that Emmett had ever had a girl tell him 'no'. And certainly not in such a…public way.

"At least it took some of the attention off Jasper," Emmett said. "I mean, his parents were giving him a seriously hard time about dropping out of school. They pretty much stopped that when Rose and I embarrassed them in front of thousands of their closest friends."

"Yeah, Emmett, thanks for taking one for the team." Jasper has heard the last part of Emmett's declaration and is grinning at him as he slaps him on the back.

"You owe me, buddy," Emmett warns.

"Time to count down!" Alice starts counting from ten and we join her.

When the clock hits twelve and the whole party yells "Happy New Year!" I touch glasses with my friends, amazed that I didn't even know these people a year ago and now they are so incredibly important to me. Even Emmett.

Then I feel Edward's arms turning me to face him and I smile at him as I tilt my head up to kiss him. It still feels really fragile and surreal that he really loves me that much, that he is so different from much from the person I thought I met back in September, that he drove out to Forks to tell my dad that he loved me.

Edward wraps his arms around me after we kiss and, burying his nose in the top of my head, murmurs into my hair, "Happy New Year, Bella."

I catch Alice's eye from a few feet away where she is buried in a similar position in Jasper's arms. Alice winks at me.

**a/n: Thank you for all the awesome reviews, especially hit-the-duckies, who lost sleep and some dignity to read this, and Midoriori, who gave me a great idea for a new summary! There's only 2 chapters left after this and I'm getting all emo about it already. I'll miss you guys! JuJu**


	49. Chapter 49

**a/n: Still don't own it. The saintly EverlastingMuse betas this mess.**

**Edward: **

_Six months later…_

There was a knock on the door and I stopped fumbling with my cufflinks and started for the door. At the same time my phone began ringing. Grumbling when I saw that it was Emmett I answered it. Bad things happen when I don't answer Emmett's calls. Like him trying to do things on his own that he has no clue about.

"Emmett, what's on fire?" I answer the phone as I open the door.

Bella's standing outside my door in shorts and a t-shirt. I disregard Emmett on the phone to hiss, "What are you wearing?" She blinks at me wide-eyed for a second and then bursts out laughing. What the…

And then Emmett's voice says "food poisoning" to me and I realize that I haven't been listening to his emergency.

"I'm sorry, Em, say that again?" I wave Bella inside, realizing that she's got something in a drycleaner bag draped over her shoulder.

"Yeah, I said that the caterer said that someone got food poisoning from their crab cakes a few days ago and they're subbing shrimp cocktail."

"Ok, that's fine with me, uh, hold on." I pull the phone away from my ear and ask Bella, "Shrimp cocktail instead of crab cakes with bacteria?" She nods and I confirm for Emmett that the non-poisonous appetizer is fine.

"What's going on? You know this is a wedding, right? Not a carwash." Bella smirks at me.

"I decided to get changed over here. My whole apartment is filled with floral arrangements and shrieking women. Is that Ok?" I tilt my head at her and pretend to think about it.

"That depends. Can I watch?" She smacks my arm and walks into my bedroom. I pick up my cufflinks again and fumble with them for a few more minutes before swearing and deciding to have Bella do them. Then I hear swearing coming out of my room and Bella comes out, 75% into a yellow dress.

"Nice look," I say, getting up to help her.

"I swear to God, she ordered this thing too small." Bella pants, trying to twist her arms around to the zipper. She turns around so I can zip it up.

"Ok, stop breathing." She sucks in her breath and I zip up the dress, placing a kiss on the back of her neck. "You look great."

She turns around and rolls her eyes at me. "Yeah, bridesmaids dresses are attractive."

"You make it look good," I say, leaning down for another kiss. She slips away from me.

"Stop, I have to finish getting ready." She walks back into the bedroom and I just stand around uselessly. I think about using this incident as an arguing point to have Bella move in with me. I actually have a spreadsheet, which she doesn't know about, with reasons why it makes sense. I think I'm making headway.

Getting this place was definitely a great move. It was high time that I moved out of my parents place.

When you move out for the first time there are all these things that you don't even know that you need. Then you find yourself needing, like, oh, I don't know, paper towels or wash cloths or a dustpan, and your mom isn't around to show you where she keeps them. I am especially embarrassed to be experiencing this at the age of 27.

Not to mention, who knew laundry mats could be so confusing? And those big circular dryers are apparently a little bit harder on your sweater vests than your average home clothes dryer. Learned that one the hard way.

By the middle of January I managed to buy myself a washer and dryer, made my first trip to Target, found out how many days I could go before I ran out of clean dishes, and had only vetoed three ideas that Alice had for decorating the office.

Really I should have let Ben decide whether we have desks made of reclaimed wood and recycled carpet. But he was so excited about not working IT at an insurance office and about whatever it is that he and Seth were cooking up that he would have probably told Alice she could hang burlap sacks in the windows and that we would heat the office with a little windmill on the roof.

So I was trying to encourage Ben to speak up when Alice is being ridiculous because he's going to be in the office more than I will. It turns out Ben is intimidated by my midget sister. Who knew?

I generally had to be the one to intervene to tell Alice that "rustic" isn't going to do it for a technology company's office. We really needed to go for more streamlined, less hippie-chic. Which, of course, made me look like less of a man, you know, talking about design and stuff. Good thing he didn't know I get manicures.

Plus Alice warned us that we couldn't have Godzilla figures and Star Trek calendars in the office like all computer geeks do because it would mess with the design aesthetic.

The nice thing about Ben being so excited is that I didn't make him nauseous with my own annoying giddiness.

I mean, who wouldn't be thrilled? I got the job I wanted and an entire side career hanging out with my best friend talking about computer games. I have my own place and the best, sweetest girlfriend in the world.

Who puts up with me even when I throw a tantrum when I find out that I still have to share an office with the contemptible Mike Newton.

It could have been worse. He got half of my "Intro to IT" classes and I actually got a lighter schedule than I had as a student teacher. For more money. Go figure.

The problem is that I am continuing to share an office with him and when he has undergrads come in to meet him I have to listen to them and the sounds that come out of their mouths. Shudder.

The nice thing is that Bella can come have lunch with me twice a week on campus. Even if Newton does try to talk her up, completely ignoring my death stare and the times I try to move things around to block him view of my side of the office.

I know that seems extreme but you can't expect me to change overnight, can you?

Bella comes out of the bedroom, a little wobbly in her high heels.

"Maybe we could get you a cane or some crutches," I say. She glares at me.

"Yeah, you have room to talk," she says, pointing to my floppy, cufflink-less cuffs.

Somehow we manage to get out the door and in the car, both of us more or less dressed. My parents meet us in the parking lot of the church.

"You two look so nice," my Mom gives Bella a hug and rubs my arm. Carlisle grins at me over her shoulder.

"Ready?" he says, starting to walk towards the building.

"Yeah, I think so," I say, pulling on my Mom and Bella to get them over to the building.

We manage to get in place on time, despite the amount of frantic rushing around at the last minute. It turns out I'm not the only person to have trouble with cufflinks as Emmett shows up with his in his pocket and then begs Mom to help him.

She gets them clicked into place as the music starts and we all look over to the door of the church as yellow-clad bridesmaids start coming down the aisle.

It looks like everything is going to go smoothly as long as Ben can wait to vomit after saying, "I do."

The reception is just winding down when my Dad slides into the seat next to me, slightly tipsy and probably winded from his turn out on the dance floor with Mom dancing to "Jungle Boogie." I did my best to remind anyone I could about how I was adopted.

"Beautiful day, huh?" Carlisle says to me, loosening his tie. I smile at him.

"Yeah, I'm glad Ben asked me to be part of it." My fears that Seth was stealing my best friend were really unfounded; Seth and I have actually become pretty close as well. It turns out Seth decided he liked us so much, that he wanted us to design a game based on his book series. He had been resisting deals that his publisher tried to make because he didn't trust other game designers to not make something awful out of his series. A couple of conversations with Seth and then with both of us and he trusted us enough to do it.

Carlisle and I watch Emmett drag Rosalie out onto the dance floor. He's saying something to her with a big smile on his face and she's rolling her eyes and slapping his arm.

"So, what do you think? You think she'll marry him any time soon?" My Dad asks me with a laugh. Everyone knows that Emmett has asked Rosalie to marry him like four times and she has said no, repeatedly.

"Eventually. Did you hear what Alice was telling her the other day about marriage being a bourgeois institution?" Carlisle laughs.

"I'm not surprised. Jasper's created a monster."

"Yeah, the funniest part is that she didn't get that from him. I guess she was hanging out with the woman at some artisan's collective that they get pottery or something from. Jasper was actually appalled and was trying to talk her out of it."

"At least I won't have to pay for her wedding any time soon." Carlisle pauses for a minute and then says; "What about you? You, uh, thinking about Bella and you…"

"She's a little commitment-phobic, I think," I tell my dad. "I'm making progress on the whole moving in with me thing. Only because your other children are making living in that house less than peaceful." I grin at my dad. Emmett and Alice are definitely spending a lot of time at Jasper and Rose's place. Bella escapes to my house a couple times a week just for the quiet. I might or might not be be encouraging their trips to her place.

"Are you guys going to let Emmett make you look bad?" I look up to see my girl. She has long since abandoned her shoes.

"Emmett make _me_ look bad? You're kidding right?" Carlisle shrugs his shoulders at her.

"I have been a dancing fool, I'll have you know." He points to me. "But Edward was just talking about how much he wanted to dance with some pretty girl."

Bella laughs and pulls on my hand. "I'll try to find you one."

"You'll do," I say as I let her pull me out to the dance floor. "But I have to tell you, I totally can't dance."

"Neither can I," she says. "We'll just have to be awful at this stuff together."

Truer words were never spoken.

**a/n: Thanks for all the reviews! If you're into this kind of thing this whole thing was inspired by the Cake song, "Love You Madly" so if you want to check it out…**** www (dot) youtube (dot) com/watch?v=2uwjsG0cRf0**** (take out my dots and spaces) enjoy! JuJu**


	50. Chapter 50

**a/n: EverlastingMuse keeps my most egregious mistakes under control even though I don't own Twilight.**

**Bella:**

"Are you going to your parent's early?" I ask Edward. He's looking for his phone and he has his ridiculous candy-cane tie on. I was hoping he would help me finish wrapping presents.

"Yeah, I figured I'd double-check Dad's wiring on his holiday display before the party this time. That way I don't have spend the whole time crawling around on my belly with a pair of pliers in my mouth in the front yard." I laugh.

"That's a good idea. I'm surprised it's taken you, what? Five years to figure that out?" He shrugs. "I just keep thinking he's going to get over this whole light-atrocity fetish he has. But if he's not going to I may as well plan ahead so I can spend some time with my pretty wife at this party." He's getting better at buttering me up and I reward him with a kiss.

Edward did something smart, by which I mean, he totally outsmarted me. He knew how freaked out I was by the idea of marriage when we got together. So he never mentioned it. Never.

After a couple years, I started to wonder why he never brought it up. I mean, he had alluded to it after the Charlie-shotgun conversation but that was it. So, eventually, I brought it up. But since I'm a total chicken and a commitment-phobe, I didn't bring it up until I spent six months thinking about it and then starting to daydream about it and finally I decided that I really wanted to get married to Edward. So then I waited another couple of months until I couldn't stand it anymore and brought it up one day.

"Honey," I had said, looking over at Edward. He was sitting on the couch looking at student postings, grumbling about how even IT people need to be able to spell. He looked up at me. "Yeah?"

"I was wondering, do you think about, would you want…for us to get married someday?" He looked at me blankly; then a tiny smile appeared on his face.

"Bella, I told your dad and his shotgun that I wanted to marry you. You know how I feel." He closed the computer and set it on the coffee table. 'Do you want to get married?" I nodded, feeling stupid that I hadn't brought this up sooner.

"Excellent. Do you want to pick out your own engagement ring or would you like Esme's?" He got up walked into the bedroom. He came back out with his shoes and sat down and started putting them on.

"Uh, I don't need… What are you doing?" He was clearly getting ready to go out. He stopped and looked at me.

"I'm either going to go pick up your ring from my parent's house or to buy you your own. Would you like to pick it out?" He had picked up his keys and was looking at his phone.

"Edward, we don't need to do this now." He nodded, a serious look on his face.

"Oh, yeah, we do. Do you think that I held my tongue for almost three years so I could just take care of the details sometime this week? Seriously, Bella, we're going to get an engagement ring on your finger today if I have to forge the damn thing myself."

So I ended up getting Esme's engagement ring, which was beautiful. It turns out Edward was deliberately not mentioning the marriage thing because he figured I'd bring it up when I was ready. Plus, he was probably scarred by watching Emmett propose to Rosalie like a bazillion times. I think she continued to say no out of force of habit, seriously.

Emmett and Rosalie did end up getting married, though, three years ago. Rosalie had gotten really close to a little boy who had stayed at the shelter for a few months with his mom. Tragically, the mom died of an overdose a few weeks after leaving the shelter and the social worker got in touch with Rose, knowing of her relationship with Henry. After fostering him for a few months Rose and Emmett decided that they wanted to adopt him and Emmett convinced Rose that a married couple would have a better chance of getting approved by the state.

It worked and, ironically, as soon as the papers went through Rose found out she was pregnant and now they have six year-old Henry and 2 year-old Claire. Emmett and Rose are great parents and Carlisle and Esme are thrilled to have some kids around again, especially since all their grown children left home at the same time, no matter how they had overstayed their welcome.

Hilariously, Alice, who had her wedding planned at the age of seven, has vowed not to get legally married until gays and lesbians can in all fifty states. Jasper says he regrets even letting her read that ACLU newsletter. Still, they had some kind of indigenous "joining ceremony" and have a set of twin boys and a new baby girl, all benefitting from organic baby-food, endless breast-feeding and no gender-specific toys. Alice even had me teach the boys to knit.

I finish wrapping the kid's presents, Transformers and dolls for the McCarty's, artisan building blocks and politically correct children's books for the Cullen-Whitlocks. The kids will totally switch toys after they open them. Henry loves books and art, to Emmett's surprise while Forest and Dylan love anything plastic. Especially if it's a weapon. Alice hasn't completely lost her sense of humor about the whole thing, thankfully. She even calls the Christmas gift exchange "restocking the armory".

I get the presents packed into the car and drive over to Carlisle and Esme's, thinking about the conversations Edward and I have had about our nieces and nephews and, you know, having our own.

In startling contrast to his eagerness to get married, Edward was terrified of having kids when we first discussed it. He was convinced that he would screw up, that he would be abusive or neglect his kids. Which I tried to convince him was ridiculous. Edward couldn't neglect a houseplant. He's the one who remembers to prune the roses, keeps track of everyone's birthdays, reminds me to get my teeth cleaned every six months, all of those details.

And the abusive part, I just refuse to believe. But I told him to talk to Dr. Eleazar about it and arranged for us to take care of the kids a lot.

It was hard the first couple times he got frustrated by something they did and just froze up, clearly terrified by his own strong feelings and what he would do.

But he always managed to stay calm enough to handle it, even when Dylan spilled syrup all over his computer, even when Rayne, Alice and Jasper's newborn, spit up on his "World Series of Poker" tie.

It's not like we don't have the space. Edward decided he was tired of living above the office, especially when the business grew and had hired more employees.

So we rented the condo to one of the graphic artists they'd hired and found a place closer to the university. It had enough bedrooms that I was able to turn into an office since I've started writing, with Seth's encouragement. I am about to have my first book, a children's book that I "tested" on my nieces and nephews, published. I'm not exactly a famous author yet but if it's successful I will think about quitting my job teaching English at a local junior high school.

Edward has been insisting that I could quit my job anyway but I don't think that I could be that kind of wife. Especially with just the cats to take care of.

I find a place to park the car and am unloading the presents when Edward comes out to help me.

"How's the display looking?" I ask, looking over his shoulder at Carlisle's holiday monstrosity. This year Carlisle has added an illuminated gingerbread house and removed the nativity scene. I guess he was listening last year when Jasper mentioned that the Baby Jesus was too light-skinned.

"I think I've eliminated the fire hazard but I'm worried about the power source." Edward gestures to the solar panels on the roof. "I think that it's been too overcast. Jasper was actually suggesting that next year we install a mini wind farm on the back part of the roof."

"Well, as long as it's not going to burst into flame maybe Alice and Jasper won't know it's switched to conventional power."

"Oh, and wait until you see what Mike did." Edward has a mischievous smile on his face. He and Mike actually ended up developing a pretty decent friendship, just from the sheer number of years they spent sharing an office and a project they are doing through the university developing ways for remote areas to get better internet access. It really feeds that need that Carlisle and Esme instilled in him to give back. I know that Edward felt guilty for being the only one in the family not involved in social causes.

As soon as I get the presents put down Edward drags me over to Emmett who has an 8" by 10" photo in his hand. It looks like one of those satellite pictures of the West Coast of America, taken at night so you can see the lights of the more populated cities. I look at it for a minute, trying to figure out what they are trying to show me, while Edward and Emmett giggle like my middle school students.

"What? What am I looking for? This is some kind of geek joke, huh?" They look at each other and laugh.

"Mike has this friend who works at the observatory and he sent us this satellite picture. I had one of the designers doctor it so it looks like you can see the Carlisle's display from space." Edward bursts into laughter at the end of the story and he and his brother continue to laugh while I roll my eyes.

"You guys are hilarious." I laugh and walk over to where Esme is trying to keep Forest and Henry out of the presents until she can get everyone ready to sit down.

"Hey, sweetie," Esme holds out her arms to hug me. "Thanks for letting Edward come over early. I have a feeling he saved us from another year like last year." Last Christmas Carlisle overloaded the circuits and we had no power on Christmas. Emmett told the kids it was "camping Christmas" and we used flashlights and ate beef jerky while we opened presents.

"My pleasure." I say as Alice comes into the room. Jasper follows her with Rayne in one of those baby hammock things on his stomach.

"Bella! Merry Christmas!" Alice embraces me and then I give Jasper a side hug, being careful not to wake the baby.

"Did you guys check out the display?" Carlisle asks as he comes into the room with Rose. Alice rushes over to him to give him a kiss.

"It looks great, Dad. Thanks for taking out the Eurocentric Jesus." Carlisle laughs.

"Of course, sweetie. We wouldn't want the neighbors seeing that kind of thing, right?" Carlisle ruffles Alice's hair and peeks at the sleeping baby.

"Alright," Esme calls. "I think we are ready for the materialistic display!"

"I prefer 'redistribution of wealth,'" Jasper cracks and pulls his wife down next to him on the couch. Emmett is using an oversized wooden candy cane to poke all three boys into place on the floor to open their presents. Rose starts handing Claire presents to hand out. Claire staggers over to people one at a time with slightly mangled, drooly presents.

The sound of tearing paper starts to fill the room as the kids open their presents. They start playing, trading and pounding on their presents. The baby wakes up long enough to get something to chew on while Jasper opens her presents and coos about them to her.

Edward takes the boys into the other room to hook up their game system and eventually Emmett escapes to go challenge the boys.

With the boys out of the room we have a chance to talk and play with the baby. Carlisle and I fight over who gets to hold Rayne.

"You know, if you had your own, there'd be less fighting." Rose looks at me and winks.

"Yeah, uh, working on it," I say, grinning at her.

"Edward would have way prettier babies than Emmett." Alice says. "No offense Rose, but Emmett's kinda Bigfooty." Rose laughs.

"Yeah, hopefully Claire won't have Emmett's feet or anything. I mean, I'll love her no matter what but I want my girl to be able to wear sandals in public without people running screaming."

Finally, the comatose children get packed up and we say our goodbyes. Edward and I get home and the house feels quiet. I have been really good about not harassing Edward about the children thing. I am actually hoping to pull off the same thing as he did with the marriage thing.

"It was a nice time," Edward says, as we sit together in the kitchen. I'm drinking tea and he's checking his emails.

"Yeah, it went pretty smoothly. No fires, no experimental tofu dishes."

"I had a really good time with the boys," Edward says, looking over the computer at me. He's trying to read my expression. I give him a smile.

"Yeah, they're good boys." I stare into my tea as if there's a movie playing in there or something.

"I think, uh, I think that I feel better about the whole 'kids' thing." Edward kills me when he does air quotes. He's adorable. I take a couple of seconds to look up from my fascinating tea.

"'Better' like we could talk about it or 'better' like bust out the Barry White and poke holes in the condoms?"

"We don't use condoms." Edward has reverted to his awkwardly literal phase. He does this when he's really working hard to something right. I stare at him until he says," Oh, I mean, I'm ready. Obviously we have to wait for your birth control to…go away."

"Well, I think practicing might be in order than. I mean, you don't want to mess it up or something." I give Edward a wink and slide out of my seat onto his lap. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck.

"Yeah, it'd be a shame to screw it up," he murmurs into my neck. He lifts me up to my feet and gets up, pulling me with him towards the stairs. "Let's go get started, then. I did the math and I figure if you get pregnant in January or February you'll have the baby in October or November. That seems optimal in terms of weather, you know, because there'll be less rain and it won't be uncomfortably hot. Plus…"

"Edward, honey," I interrupt. He pauses, looks at me, surprised, and raises his eyebrow at me. I step up so I am on the same stair as him and wrap my arms around him. "I know you love math, baby, but you're kind of killing the mood."

**The End**

**a/n: I'll try to keep this brief so I can go whimper in my couch dent! Thank you so much all the awesome people who read this long-ass, messy, goofy story! You guys put up with a lot of misunderstandings and goofiness for a story with like no lemons in it! I will miss all the amazing readers that this angst golf-cart had! **

**I don't write a lot of AH (I like vampires) so if you miss me you'll have to check out "The Red Eye" or "Howl". Or just drop me a PM!**

**Also, there's a compilation being put together for Fandom against Domestic Violence. There are 130 authors, including some of my favorites. Go here: http:/fandomagainstdomesticviolence (dot) blogspot (dot) com/ (remove my spaces) to check it out. I have never participated in one of these but the cause is particularly compelling for me and I hope they can get a ton of support! Thanks! JuJu**


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